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Why Fathers Are So Impactful

Uncategorized Jun 16, 2022

We recently had Jason Vallotton on our podcast share about why he is convinced that 90% of society’s issues stem from fatherlessness.

The world at large is more fatherless today than ever before.

Parents are splitting up.

Dads are walking out.

Masculinity is being redefined.

And as a result, many issues have ensued.

In fact some studies show that when the father is present – forget if he’s actually a good father or not – the impact is notable:

-Children have better social skills
-Children generally perform better in school
-Children are more likely to have a higher socio-economic status

The list goes on…

In case you aren’t convinced… one study estimated that as much as 90% of imprisoned men in America are fatherless!

I don’t know what your father was like.

He may have been ever-present, loving and kind.

Or maybe he was absent from Day 1.

Can I give you a piece of advice?

Give thanks – fathers are a gift.

The role of a...

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Testimonial: How A College Basketball Star Got Free For Good

Uncategorized Jun 16, 2022

College basketball star Patric Young had it all – popularity, money, and women at his beck and call. He knew it wasn't what God called him to, but at least he wasn't as far gone as his peers. The thrill of his lifestyle came to a grinding halt when he found out the woman of his dreams considered pornography to be cheating! This 'come to Jesus' moment made him realize that something had to change. Today's video explains how it all went down.

Learning to experience God as an unconditionally loving father, healing from past traumas, and learning to let people in have all helped Patric create a very different life for himself. He's finding himself apart from athletic performance, detaching from sexual misbehavior, and set to get married in just a few short months.

Watch The Story

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Three Rules For Lasting Recovery

Uncategorized Jun 09, 2022

Just about everything in your personal development is more impactful with the long-game in mind.

It’s very easy to justify…

-An extra cookie “every now and then”. But over time, those cookie calories start to add up.
-A little frivolous spending on a regular basis. But over time, it likely adds up to thousands of dollars.
-A relapse “one last time”, but several years and decades later…the relapses are happening and the impact is dramatic.

That’s why we are disinterested in streaks. 
That’s why we don’t go after bursts of sobriety.

The goal is always long-term, lasting, unending freedom.

You may think that you need to wait until you get some momentum going before you think about the long game.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

The way you get momentum is by thinking about the long game.

And as you do, there are three rules that you should institute to ensure lasting freedom:

  • Guard Your Mind – Pay...
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Clinical Breakdown: The Three Indicators That You Are Addicted To Porn

Uncategorized Jun 09, 2022

At the end of the day, the real question is – are you addicted? Sure you watch here and there...that doesn't mean you're addicted right? You can quit whenever you want, right? It just hasn't happened yet because "life got in the way"...right? The reality is that addiction often comes disguised and today's blog explains the REAL indicators of an addiction to pornography.

In addition to the flawed justifications ("at least my situation's not as bad as so-and-so"), enabling loved ones ("Oh it's not that bad. He's doing his best I'm sure"), and good intentions to deal with it one day ("It's just not great timing right now. If it's still around when XYZ happens, then I'll do something about it"), researchers are beginning to uncover more reliable indicators that a porn addiction is present.

While this may be an uncomfortable truth to broach, understanding your situation better means you will be able to find a more effective solution.

There are at least 3 indicators of porn...

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Watch Your Language

Uncategorized Jun 02, 2022

I had no idea my life was about to change forever.

A while back I had the chance to be part of a business mastermind retreat in Austin, Texas and I’m still blown away at how it impacted me.

This gentleman in the photo, Michael Bernhoff, delivered one of the best talks I have ever witnessed in person.

Two highlights:

  1. The one thing we do more than anything else ALL day: communicate
  2. Progress is outgrowing the situation you're currently in

In case you haven’t figured it out by now…I believe every lesson in life has an application to getting free of porn…this one is no exception.

The stories you tell yourself and the way you talk about your journey MATTER.

It’s one thing to say, “I’m struggling with porn. I just can’t get free”

Closed statements stop your brain from seeking solutions.

It’s another thing to say, “I’m working on finding a solution to eliminate porn from my life”

Small change, huge difference....

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FAQ: How Do I Deal With Same-Sex Attraction As A Christian?

Uncategorized Jun 02, 2022

Same-sex attraction is becoming a more common subject in our community. What we are finding is that many Christian men experience same-sex attraction, and much like their experience with porn addiction, have no valuable resources or people in their life to help them work through it. Today's blog is designed to provide a starting point if you are a Christian man that has same-sex attraction.

Let me start by saying that there is nothing wrong with you. You are not fatally flawed, and I am so sorry for any ways that the church and society may have sent an opposing message. Working through our sexuality is hard enough in this world, when you factor in the complexities of same-sex attraction, the challenges feel impossible to overcome.

Attraction is a complex subject – we don't fully understand what drives it or shapes it, but there are a few things we DO know.

-Attraction and identity are not the same thing. Be careful that the way you identify as a person is not too strongly...

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Case Study: A Collective of Recent Wins

Uncategorized May 26, 2022

When you get free of porn, what changes in your life? Does it mean more intimacy with your wife? A deeper relationship with God? More confidence? Higher productivity at work? A greater willingness to take risk? These are some of the transformations that we get to witness daily before our very eyes in the DeepClean community. If you want to be inspired by men from around the world who are attaining freedom (including someone who hasn't watched porn in 15 months!), click below to read a few recent awe-inspiring wins.

JM – 25 years old, Engineer

 

DR – 29 years old, Pastor

 

JI – 34 years old, Administrator

 

MJ – 65 years old, Fabricator

 

If you're looking to get free of porn and resolve the root issues like these guys are, we have spots available in our calendar every week to take calls with people like you. Click here to book a time (note: you will be required to watch a short training first to prep you for the call).

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The One Time It's OK To Reduce Standards

Uncategorized May 26, 2022

Some of you may know from reading The Last Relapse that I do a bit of pro bono work, mentoring young men who long to be healthy in their sexuality, business, and faith.

Recently, one of my mentees was starting to feel burnt out. He has been working tirelessly the last year or so to build up an audience regarding a subject he is deeply passionate about. But it was starting to become exhausting.

He wasn’t quite burned out YET, but he could feel it was just around the corner if something didn’t change.

I started to poke around (as a mentor does), and began to observe a lot of ‘obligatory language’ – some of it explicit, some of it implicit.

“Well I have to do XYZ…otherwise my audience won’t grow.”

“I need to do ABC…or else I’m going to fall behind.”

This was a man who had set high expectations for himself and was meeting them exceptionally well, but was depleting his resources in the process.

So I started...

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FAQ: What Is The Difference Between Sobriety & Freedom?

Uncategorized May 19, 2022

For many years the operative term for success in addiction recovery has been "sobriety" The last few decades, "freedom" has become a more common term in this arena, and for good reason. While it may appear to simply be an upgraded word that means the same thing, the reality is these two concepts are miles apart, and understanding the difference is critical for your long-term success.

Sobriety is a behavioral concept that refers to the absence of substance use or a behavioral engagement. This is where you will hear phrases like "Been sober for X number of days". As you may know, we don't count streaks here at DeepClean because we are not concerned with behavior modification.

Instead, we are more interested in freedom. The difference is that freedom deals with the internal elements of one's life. Freedom means having choices in the heat of a moment, control over yourself, a comprehensive understanding of your tendencies and patterns, and a conscious effort to make better...

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Three Superpowers That Guarantee Success

Uncategorized May 19, 2022

I don’t know about you, but this season has caused me to think more seriously about the things that really matter in life.

Between pandemics, wars, inflation, government overreach and the many other geographical, political, and spiritual dynamics that have marked these last 2 years, I view life very differently.

I imagine some things may have changed for you too…

However, something that has always kept things in perspective for me is observing historical trends. As an example, typically every 10 years a major event takes place that has a global impact. 

COVID-19 most recently. Ten years prior it was the financial crisis. Another ten years prior was 9/11. The list goes on…

It reminds me that while we are in unusual times, experiencing circumstances and situations that no humans previously had, ultimately, we will make it through.

The fascinating part for me is that we will not make it through equally. Some will come out thriving, others will struggle. And...

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