When I was watching p**n on a regular basis, I was VERY aware of just how damaging sin can be.

My confidence was shot.
I felt like a shell of myself.
The sense of feeling disconnected from God was overwhelming.

And I was severely hindering my chances of getting married.

Sin is costly.

Not only from the “upfront” costs that we are keenly aware of, but also because of the collateral.

Sometimes, the reason sin persists in our lives is because the first time we committed the sin, we drew a conclusion about ourselves that enables the sin to continue.

You had an affair? You’re an adulterer.
You watch p**n? You’re a pervert.
You struggle with lust? You’re a sinner.

If you’re an adulterer by identity, then would you not continue to have adulterous interactions?

If you’re a pervert, what’s to stop you from continuing to watch p**n?

You get the idea.

The world would have you believe that your behavior dictates your identity, but in the Kingdom of...

Note: This is a 3 part email sequence, all the 3 parts have been compiled in this blog post. Each email is separately labeled.

(1/3) Community Is Overrated (for real)

Hey man,

Let me ask you something...

Raise your virtual hand if In the last year, have you heard a message about the importance of community on a...

-Podcast
-Sermon
-YouTube video
-IG/FB/TikTok post

... (apologies if your skin tone wasn't included).

If we extended that to the last 2 years, or 5 years, it would be hands up all over the place. 

Messages of community are RAMPANT. And for good reason.

But to kick this thing off with the punchline...community is terribly overrated.

"What happened to you Sathiya? I thought community was the bedrock of recovery. Connection is the opposite of addiction, therefore we need to plug-in to community, right?"

Absolutely. 100%. Still stand by all of that.

But I equally stand with the statement that community is overrated.

Just like "being present"...

Family is one of the most beautiful and complicated words in the English language.

God’s design for this thing called life is that we would experience it in the context of a safe, loving and empowering family environment.

Some of you reading this were actually fortunate enough to have an experience that matches the description above.

Many of you were not.

And some of you may not know where you land.

Personally, as a family led by immigrant parents, the question I always had rolling around in my head was “Are we normal?”

We ate different food. 
Spoke different languages. 
And didn’t really “look the part” (I grew up in the prairies to give some context lol).

As society is beginning to uncover the supreme value of childhood as a whole, parent-child relationships, and mother-father dynamics in our development, there are some risks that come with it.

One risk is that we blame all of our problems on childhood. We see this happen in our...

Family is one of the most beautiful and complicated words in the English language.

God’s design for this thing called life is that we would experience it in the context of a safe, loving and empowering family environment.

Some of you reading this were actually fortunate enough to have an experience that matches the description above.

Many of you were not.

And some of you may not know where you land.

Personally, as a family led by immigrant parents, the question I always had rolling around in my head was “Are we normal?”

We ate different food. 
Spoke different languages. 
And didn’t really “look the part” (I grew up in the prairies to give some context lol).

As society is beginning to uncover the supreme value of childhood as a whole, parent-child relationships, and mother-father dynamics in our development, there are some risks that come with it.

One risk is that we blame all of our problems on childhood. We see this happen in our...

He who finds a wife finds a good ting, and obtains favor from the LORD – Prov 18:22 (Jamaican version).

When I was single people used to always tell me that you have to choose your spouse carefully because it is the second most important decision you’ll ever make.

(The first being giving your life to Jesus).

In hindsight, they were right. But I wish someone would have told me why.

There’s a scripture in 1 Corinthians 15 that says “bad company corrupts good character.”

In other words, you can be the most incredible human being in the world, but if you’re surrounded by the wrong people, it won’t matter.

Something I’ve realized lately is that your spouse winds up being your “company” for the rest of your life.

And they will either corrupt or enhance your character, integrity, calling, etc.

I can say with all my heart, my wife is the best company a guy could ask for.

She makes me a better man, and she challenges me to grow in...

Well, we’re no longer on the sunny beaches of Jamaica, but a guy can still dream right?

We’ve been home for a few weeks now and it is becoming very clear that this year is about stabilizing.

Last year, we traveled a ton, took on lots of new adventures, and made some improvements to our home.

This is a year to settle, enjoy the fruits of our labor, and dig roots into the local community.

Shaloma and I have made a weekly practice of reflecting on the past week, worshiping & praying together, and then planning the week ahead.

Something we’ve observed is how much we have to be grateful for on a daily basis, but how easily we overlook it.

Many times I find myself saying, “Man, we have a good life.”

Things are far from perfect. There are challenges too.

But any time I take a moment to reflect on the life we’re living and the things God has done and is doing in our lives…

I can’t help but be overwhelmed with gratitude.

Life has its...

Every moment matters. Everything is sacred. In all you do, do it as unto the Lord.

These are some of the words I’ve been speaking to myself lately as things begin to ramp up here at DeepClean.

Busyness is one of the greatest enemies we face today.

And most of us are busy with really “good” things – work, church, family, etc.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes in the midst of it all, I catch myself tuning out a bit..

Spending just a bit more time on my phone than I should when my loved ones are around..

Talking myself out of giving 100% because I can get away with it or because “it’s not THAT important”.

But one thing I am learning is that whether it’s a mundane minute between Zoom calls…

A weekly date with my wife…

The first 45 mins of my day with God…

Or I’m on the couch in reruns of The Simpsons and Seinfeld like it’s no one’s business…

It all matters.

In recovery, you will have...

Note: This is a 3 part email sequence, all the 3 parts have been compiled in this blog post. Each email is separately labeled.

Part 1: - Stress Management 101 For Men

Have you ever felt stressed before?

Dumb question, I know. Obviously the answer is yes.

Have you felt stressed lately - like in the last week?

Another dumb question. Obviously you have.

Well let me ask you a smarter question instead...

Do you think you would have an issue with p*rn if you never experienced stress?

This is the first email of a 3-part series where I am going to show you how men should handle their stress. 

By the end of this sequence, you'll understand how stress correlates with slips/relapses  AND you'll know what to do differently the next time you're up to your eyeballs in the cares of life so that it doesn't lead to hulk-like outcomes.

As a starting point – what is stress? (Oh so we're back to the dumb questions again, perfect).

Well, you may...

I thank my God every time I remember you.

In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this…

He Who Began A Good Work In You Will Carry It On To Completion Until The Day of Christ Jesus.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes, I need a reminder that it is God who begins AND ends the good works in our lives.

When I struggled with p*rn, I remember getting “tastes” of freedom.

A few weeks, sometimes months, one time I even went a whole year.

When I relapsed, I would often self-criticize and lament having to “start all over again”...

But that kind of thinking totally negates this scripture out of Philippians 1.

Freedom is the work of God. We cannot liberate ourselves.

You may be just starting out in recovery, a few years in, or maybe many years along the way — regardless I have really good news for you.

God has begun a good work in you.

And...

“He that jumpeth the highest haveth the most joy” – Proverbs 200 (NST).

February 2023 has officially passed, which means it is 7 years since my last relapse and I am so proud of myself I am literally jumping for joy.

For 15 years I lived in the throes of a devastating p*rn addiction.

During a majority of that time, I stayed silent. Isolated. Alone.

I couldn’t risk losing my reputation and relationships.

I thought I was the only one.

One day I couldn’t take it anymore.

I finally opened up to a friend - I was positive he was going to reject me. Our friendship would change forever. And he would tell EVERYONE.

But much to my surprise… he struggled too.

That was the start of a 5 year journey pursuing recovery.

It started with internet filters and accountability partners.

Then I thought I’d ramp up the spiritual disciplines.

But I kept plateauing. I would go a week here, or a month there, but eventually I wound up binging and “starting all...