In August 2010, my Dad had invited a prophet to minister at our church.
It was the first time he had ever done anything like this before…the whole idea of God speaking present-moment was a huge stretch for our congregation.
But we wanted to see what the experience was like.
That night I received a word that absolutely changed my life. Among the many promises that were included in this prophetic word was a brief statement: “You will write books”.
I had always dreamt about being an author. The idea of having something to share that the world would want to read was invigorating.
“I’ll get around to it when I’m older.” I told myself.
But I had a realization in 2020.
I have been bad at basically everything the first time I tried. Whether it was sports, music, business, even academics where I have a natural gift.
I had to put the reps in to get better.
So if I know my first book will probably be mediocre compared to my 5th, why wait until...
If you had better hair, more muscles, a nicer car, a bigger house, more money, etc., THEN you would be happy.
THEN you would feel like a man.
THEN you would actually enjoy life.
I used to think this way too. And it wasn’t just the conditioning of mainstream media and marketing that caused it…
Recently a client confessed to us that he deals with major body shame because of pornography.
All of the men in porn are muscular, have little to no fat on their bodies, and are rather...um…endowed.
So he can’t help but feel like something is wrong with him. “My body should be better” he tells himself.
Whether you realize it or not, porn reprograms your brain to new standards that are totally unrealistic.
This is not just true in its depiction of sex, it’s also true in its depiction of what it means to be a man.
When I stopped watching porn back in February 2016, among the obvious changes to my spiritual, mental, and physical health, there was another...
Been thinking a lot about the whole idea of “waiting on God” thing lately…
I heard a friend recently say that about 78% of people report not being happy in their jobs.
There have been seasons where I would’ve put myself in that group. But these days, I am quite solidly in the 22%.
I am doing the things that I always imagined myself doing.
But you know what stopped me for the longest time?
Waiting on God.
I had SO many ideas and innovations. Ways that I could improve something or offer something new. But I thought I had to get a clear green light from God to take any steps forward.
But I’ve learned something recently … 2 Corinthians 1:20 says that all of God’s promises are yes and amen.
To me, that means the light is GREEN by default. Unless it turns red, proceed.
And that little shift in my thinking has launched me towards my destiny in ways that “waiting” never could.
A lot of the guys we work with tell us they wish they...
Every generation thinks they’re better than the last.
I am certainly guilty of thinking that my generation is superior to previous generations. Especially my parent’s gen.
And you could probably make an argument for that in some areas of life and society.
But most generations aren’t nearly as great as they think they are.
I realized this in my late 20s. And I more or less concluded that most generations are like every other generation.
They make some things better.
They make other things worse.
Most things stay the same.
And the next generation will do the exact same thing.
BUT in the last couple of years, I’ve realized that was wrong too.
The TRUTH is that every generation stands on the shoulders of previous generations. If we make anything better, it’s because previous generations put us in a position to do so.
And it’s our responsibility to do the same for the next gen.
The picture above was taken with a highly respected pastor in Northern...
Loneliness is plaguing men at unprecedented rates.
Somehow, we have become worse at making (and keeping) friends.
We opt for less social activities to kill time.
And even though we desperately want to connect…
We don’t know how.
THIS is why men are so addicted to their devices, social media, and porn (by the way if you want some help with that, click here).
And it’s why the research time and time again shows how powerful CONNECTION is in recovery.
These 2 gentlemen below are DeepClean graduates – both had radical transformations going through the program.
Sam, the gentleman on the right, said that he had done several recovery programs before but never experienced anything like DeepClean. He’s more confident, his career is progressing again, and he has hope for the future.
Dr. “Skip” Mondragon is on the left. He served as a military doctor for 25 years, has a TEDx talk with tens of thousands of views, and is a best-selling author. He was...
My wife and I often get asked “the question” by Christian couples that are dating
“How far is too far?”
You know what I’m talking about…
As Christians, we know that sex was designed for marriage... High level of intimacy in the context of high level commitment.
So dating and engagement can be challenging seasons. Hormones are in full throttle, yet somehow you have to keep it together until you tie the knot.
…If you’re asking “the question”, you’ve already lost.
It’s not about what you can get away with, or how close you can get to the line without crossing it.
The real question is, “What will serve our relationship the best in the long run?”
My wife and I dated for a year and were engaged for 18 months before getting married in September 2019.
We went through hell during our engagement – major illness, buried 5 relatives, tons of financial distress, and a whole bunch of...
Christmas is one of the most unique times we experience in a calendar year.
I am fascinated by how much my experience of this season has changed over the years.
As a kid, Christmas was magical and ridiculously exciting.
As a teen, Christmas meant new video games and hangouts at the mall.
In college, Christmas meant time off from school.
In my early career years, Christmas meant work all day and night (I was a local church pastor).
Last year, Christmas meant sun and beach and rum & cokes (we were living in Jamaica).
This year, Christmas has me incredibly reflective. A lot can change in such a short time.
Bill Gates famously said that we overestimate what we can accomplish in a year, but underestimate what we can accomplish in 5.
I am about to hit 7 years clean of porn, and I can honestly say that with each year of freedom I move further into my relationships and calling at an exponential level.
It’s the compounding effect, and it’s just getting started.
You may think to...
We started out as friends, but if you saw what happened moments after…we were anything but.
My wife and I rented an AirBnb in the middle of nowhere Ireland on the tail end of The Last Relapse Europe tour.
I was out for a walk one day when I met these guys – a seemingly friendly group of dairy cattle.
At first, they were kind and curious. I made some new friends.
I don’t know if I did something or what…but all of the sudden one of the cows got spooked and ran away.
Then the cows started moo-ing.
Then I saw the leader move forward.
He was breathing heavily.
I looked behind him and they were all staring me down now. Ready to strike.
I was literally watching the herd mentality play out before my very eyes.
ONE cow made a fuss, and literally every other cow was there to its defense.
This is the power of a supportive community.
Even though these cows became threatened by something that was rather harmless (I was just trying to...
"The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD" — Prov 18:22
Just a few years ago, I was afraid I would be single for life.
I was working as a pastor and felt like a hypocrite for having an addiction to p*run behind closed doors.
And as much as I wanted to be married one day, I feared bringing my addiction into a future relationship.
So I did the only thing I knew how to do when I felt hopeless: Pray.
I prayed God would set me free so that I could set others free.
And I prayed that he would keep my future wife from me until I had this thing figured out.
In case you can’t tell…
Both of those prayers were gloriously answered :).
The moral of the story here is that God hears your prayers.
The big ones.
The bold ones.
The small ones too.
The WORST thing you could do is go through this struggle without praying.
In case you need to hear it again…
God is on your side.
There is no recovery apart from Him.
He is more eager about...
To grow, you must be surrounded by those who are ahead of you.
Recently I had the privilege of being at a mastermind retreat in Phoenix, Arizona with 25 faith-based entrepreneurs from around the world.
Sometimes I attend these retreats and I have specific tactics or strategies that I’m really excited to implement in the business.
Other times I had a conversation that really inspired me.
But this time was different…
Literally all I wanted was to be around people that were more successful than me.
The fastest way to grow is to be the small fish in a big pond.
One of the speakers was John Madsen, who played in the NFL for a couple of seasons before switching to entrepreneurship.
He was a gym owner for 6 years and managed to pay his bills for the most part.
But about 4 years ago something changed…
He decided to spend time around people that were more successful than him. People that were doing what he was doing. But they were further along.
And in the last 4 years, his...