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What Being "Powerful" Really Means

Uncategorized Nov 17, 2022

Everything changed when I gave my life to Jesus in the middle of my undergrad.

After spending the previous 6 years of my life devoted to becoming a psychiatrist, almost immediately after I committed my life, I felt a calling to ministry.

While I resisted at first (I was a Pastor’s Kid my whole life and told myself I’d never be like my dad), today, I can’t imagine my life any other way.

-Spoken internationally sharing my testimony and revelations about freedom
-The Last Relapse has been read thousands of times by people around the world
-We have been deeply involved in 250+ recovery journeys
-Our podcast gets 15k+ downloads per month
-Haven’t watched porn in 2400+ days (!!!)

I was hesitant about the call to ministry at first, but by the time my degree was over, it was unmistakable.

There was just one problem at the time…

P*rn.

Because of my hidden addiction, I felt
-Unworthy to be in ministry
-Afraid that God could never use me
-Terrified of being found out/exposed/humiliated while in a ministry role

I spent the next 5 YEARS receiving training in ministry while simultaneously trying everything I possibly could to get free.

Internet filters.
Accountability partners.
Will power.
Spiritual disciplines.

If it promised quick results and didn’t involve talking to anyone too vulnerably about my issues - I was in.

Essentially I was asking - “How do I radically transform my life in the most convenient way possible?”

But truthfully, because I wasn’t willing to really pay the price for freedom, I struggled way longer than I needed to.

If I could do it all over again, I would do all of the uncomfortable things that I was avoiding, but deep down inside knew I needed to do.

Things like…
-Working through parts of my past
-Admitting my insecurities and fears in life
-Getting professional help
-Opening up to trusted people about my journey

It doesn’t have to take 5 years if you’re willing to make the sacrifices now.

My advice?

Don’t wait another minute. Freedom is way too awesome to wait.

Cheering you on,
Sathiya

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