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The Question Every Man Must Be Able To Answer

Uncategorized Mar 03, 2022

At the time of writing this, 5 different men that I know of in the DeepClean community and elsewhere have had a disclosure conversation with their significant other in the last week. That’s a pretty big deal when you think about it.

Most of them chose to disclose because I asked them the question.

In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, disclosure is the term used to describe the process of informing another individual of your struggle and or/addiction. These are scary conversations to have, but they are paramount for recovery, and when they’re done appropriately, they are also very impactful.

Something I’ve observed over the years is that most men choose not to tell their wife/fiancée/girlfriend about their struggle out of fear – fear of rejection, fear of causing pain, fear of divorce/disconnection.

One gentleman in particular was adamant that if he told his wife, she would leave him. Plus, she was already struggling with her own mental health issues, so it wasn’t the right time to tell her – this would just make things worse. 

So that’s when I had to ask the question

If you are in a committed relationship with someone who is unaware of your issue (or the extent of your issue), you must also answer the question. If you don’t, you simply reveal how little you care about the relationship.

The question is not particularly comfortable. It’s not very complex either. But once it is asked, you will be forced to confront reality and gain massive clarity in the process.

The question is simply this…

Would you rather confess or be caught?

These 5 men chose to confess and each of their significant others responded with grace, kindness, and support. That’s probably because their worst fears were totally irrational, but also because we taught them how to handle the conversations correctly. Check out this week’s blog post (below) if you want some guidance.

Cheering you on,
Sathiya

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