When Shaloma and I first started dating, we lived a couple of hours apart, which meant usually we would hang out on the weekends only (and then FaceTime like crazy during the week).
Because we barely saw each other those first 8 months, we had little to no conflict in the relationship.
So we would joke that we must be a match made in heaven.
But in reality, we knew that it was a matter of time before our first fight.
Personally, I couldn’t wait.
I truly believe that the way a couple handles conflict early in the relationship is a good indicator of what lies ahead for them.
I was curious to see if we’d pass the test…
We often tell our guys in the DeepClean community that it doesn’t matter how long your streak is.
I don’t care how many of your routines and rituals you were able to do every morning and evening.
My primary interest is how you handle the adversities of life – stress, temptations, overwhelm, relational conflict, etc.
The best recovery indicator is when someone encounters an adversity that would typically derail them and lead to a slip, but instead persevere and use the situation to make them better/stronger/healthier/etc.
God will regularly give you opportunities to ‘prove your recovery’...
And if you fail?
You get to take the test again :) No biggy.
And if you succeed?
Then you get to experience what my wife and I experienced after our first fight…
Greater safety and security.
New habits that will serve you the rest of your life.
Not every marital disagreement comes out that cleanly. The same way that you may not handle every temptation that comes your way perfectly.
But that we know for sure is that disagreements will happen. And temptations will come. So when they do…
Don’t waste the temptation or trial. Leverage it.
Cheering you on,
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