Note: This is a 3 part email sequence, all the 3 parts have been compiled in this blog post. Each email is separately labeled.
It's time for our monthly sequence on a spicy and insightful topic concerning recovery, and this month doesn't get any spicier (or more insightful).
We're talking about male anatomy.
The trouser snake.
The silent flute.
The lap rocket.
The floppy disk (for those of you with ED).
Speaking of ED – tomorrow's email is going to cover what to do when your equipment down south isn't functioning properly (including a rather embarrassing story of my own experience with ED).
Today, however, is all about the practicals of how to keep your homie healthy and happy.
I still remember in my early years of watching hardcore p**n seeing a video title that was entirely about the appendage of the male performer.
"That's weird" I thought to myself. "Why would I care about the dude?"
So I kept scrolling.
But as time went on, as I got exposed more often to titles of this nature, eventually I started to click on the vids.
I didn't understand how these men were so...large.
Intrigue eventually turned into insecurity when it occurred to me one day that if pigs happened to fly over the moon and I actually managed to have a sexual encounter with another woman, she may be expecting me to look like the dudes on the screen.
But then I reminded myself that I am a child of God and He loves me no matter what and my insecurity vanished.
Lol not quite.
I didn't know those things at the time (and am still working on walking out the truth of them today).
What did I do?
I got out a measuring tape. And found out that I wasn't even CLOSE to the measurements these guys were boasting.
In classic male fashion, I started focusing on the external. Comparing the tangibles. Not realizing that it is the intangibles that matter more.
You look at the guy with 6-pack abs and big muscles and think – "Man I want to look like that! I'm going to do 100 pushups".
You failed to realize that buddy has his sleep, diet, and supplementation dialed in. The training is merely the tip of the iceberg.
A friend of mine, Joshua Broome, was an adult film start in 1000+ films. A bunch of which probably featured a title describing his cucumber in detail!
The guy was male adult performer of the year in 2012.
So this guy knows a thing or two about the industry.
The secret to how these men boast such extraordinary measurements?
And a pile of illegal supplements (aka more drugs).
They had FAKE health. Looked like the peak of perfection on the outside. A mess on the inside.
Male adult performers are more prone to heart disease and a myriad of chronic illnesses as a result. The drugs eventually catch up.
So let's talk about a few of the intangibles you can implement that will lead to greater confidence and better performance without risking the health of your cattle prod.
If you want more, check out this podcast episode I did covering 3 liberating facts about male anatomy.
Tomorrow, we'll look at what happens when things go wrong. Because whether we're willing to admit it or not – this happens more often than we realize.
Hope you enjoyed yesterday's email as we delved into the mesmerizing world of male anatomy.
As you can see, there's a lot to unpack. I highly recommend reading email #1 if you haven't already.
Today, we're going to talk about what happens when things go south (or stay south, to be more accurate).
I remember in my early 20s seeing Viagra commercials and giggling like a little girl – "Why would someone ever need that?"
Then in my late 20s, I started working with guys my age who needed to take Viagra just to keep things afloat and realized I was terribly mistaken.
Admittedly, I still thought to myself, "Thank God I don't have to take that!"
Then, one day in my early 30s, my wife and I were getting ready to do the deed and my rocket would not take off.
Ah, no biggy. Probably just an off-day. No one's perfect.
Second try - failure to launch.
Third try - Houston, we have a problem.
Today, it is estimated that 1/3 men under the age of 40 experience erectile dysfunction!
For context – in 2001, it was about 1/20.
Pornography is largely responsible for this, as it raises the arousal threshold for our brains and leaves us under-stimulated in real-life sexual encounters.
The second leading cause is stress.
In my early 30s, I quit my job to start running DeepClean, my porn addiction coaching business, full-time.
We decided to move to Jamaica for 6 months and rent out our house while we were away.
And my wife was still recovering from a season of panic attacks and insane levels of anxiety.
My experience with ED was mostly because of stress, not porn (been off that stuff for over 7 years now by God's grace).
But I didn't know that.
So I started to question myself.
Below are some of the thoughts I had verbatim the first time I couldn't "rise to the occasion":
No word of a lie.
The enemy got right in there and tried to make this a bigger thing than it was (pun intended).
Then the anxiety around arousal made things worse. Every time we started to get intimate I would tense up and dread another moment of failure.
So I called a doc, and guess what she prescribed?
The blue pill.
"Oh no – not the blue pill! I'm not doing that" I told myself.
So I politely said thanks and hung up, knowing I wasn't going to get the prescription filled (I'm Canadian so this kind of passive-aggressive approach is pretty on brand for us – Sorry about that, eh?).
What I did do instead?
-Improved my diet.
-Started sleeping more.
-And worked tirelessly to clean up my thought life.
And it worked...sort of.
I was firing on 2/4 cylinders.
But something was still missing.
When women are pregnant, they are encouraged to do exercises called kegels, which essentially strengthen the pelvic floor and give them more control over the surrounding areas.
Wouldn't you know it, turns out kegels are good for men too.
So if your cedar tree is acting like a string of spaghetti – what I'm about to show you just might unlock the breakthrough you've been waiting for.
Kegels got me back on track. Having more control over that area of my anatomy allowed me to create more blood flow when things were getting steamy.
Then I uncovered a hidden bonus.
I was lasting longer and had more control over the grand finale.
What the heck just happened?!
Turns out Kegels are actually great for developing bedroom endurance.
I went from gone in 60 seconds to Iron Man seemingly "overnight".
In reality, it took a few months of regular training.
Since this first experience, I've had a few more bouts of premature ejaculation AND erectile dysfunction. Those are my queues to start re-implementing kegels.
It's only a matter of time before my diesel's humming again.
All of this comes with a caveat...
There is ONE thing that could stop this from working for your salamander.
I'm going to show you what that is in tomorrow's email and offer a few strategies to make sure you don't fall prey.
PS. Have you checked out the podcast yet? I did an interview with a guy who had erectile dysfunction when he was 19 years old! Crazy story. He's happily married now and has a kid (so safe to say – his boys are swimming again). Listen here.
My wife and I just finished watching all 4 Toy Stories again, so forgive me for the Pixar subject line.
There's a method to my madness, as you're about to find out.
In my first email, we talked about how to take care of your junk the right way so that it is healthy and functional.
Yesterday, we talked about what happens when things go wrong, and how kegels literally could take you from failure to launch all the way to Iron Man in a matter of weeks.
Today, we talk about the one thing that could stop your salamander from thriving.
If you want to kill amphibians in a pond, you essentially increase the presence of nitrogen in the water, depleting oxygen in the process.
Plant and animal decomposition is the easiest way to do this.
In other words – these frogs could have a very healthy diet.
They could be active and receive adequate amount of sunlight ever day.
They could even be doing kegels while they clean the flies out of their teeth!
If the water is poisonous, they will not survive.
So there you go - nice little bonus nugget if your ponds are overrun with frogs. You're welcome.
But what I'm really trying to say is...
If there is poison in the environment, it doesn't matter how well you take care of your banana. It will suffer.
Unfortunately, this poison I'm referring to is everywhere.
Young and old, rich and poor, weak and strong, all experience this poison.
And it's not just ruining men's abilities to rise up.
It's wrecking marriages.
It's ruining people's relationships with God.
And it's leaving a lot of guys hopeless about their future.
If you're reading this email, there's a good chance you've consumed this poison at some point.
And it's probably the reason you were so intrigued by this email sequence.
This poison is called p-o-r-n-o-g-r-a-p-h-y.
Studies are making it abundantly clear that if you are watching pornography on any kind of regular basis, your ability to perform sexually and possibly even reproduce will be impacted.
The main reason is that porn desensitizes your brain (something we talked about earlier this year), creates hypofrontality (where you essentially start making poorer decisions), and raises your arousal threshold (so you need more stimulation to experience arousal).
As a result – your drumstick suffers.
The signal from brain to body gets reduced. Even blocked.
And as a result, everything else in your sex life begins to suffer.
If you're not sexually active – consider this a heads up.
If you've been experiencing sexual issues, consider this a sign.
It's time to do something about it.
About 25% of the men we are currently working with at DeepClean are currently experience some sort of sexual dysfunction. In other seasons it's been higher.
What I'm trying to say is – you aren't alone. And we can help you get through this because we've already helped so many other men do the same.
We set aside time every week to speak with men who are serious about quitting porn properly – by resolving the ROOT issues.
If you know you need help quitting porn so you can have a:
-Better sex life
-Stronger relationship with your loved ones
-A renewed sense of purpose in your life
...then book a time with my team right now.
We would love to speak with you and see if DeepClean can be a help.
In the meantime, let's be real – God called us to be fruitful and multiply.
You and I can't do that with floppy disks.
It's our God-given mandate to take care of our bodies – reproductive organs included!
So take one thing from this sequence – kegels, diet, sleep, etc – and start applying it every day for the next 2 weeks.
Report back to me on the changes. It would be impossible for things to stay the same.
Cheering you on,
PS. Here's the link to book a call with someone from my team. See you soon!
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