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How Far Is Too Far

Uncategorized Dec 29, 2022

My wife and I often get asked “the question” by Christian couples that are dating

“How far is too far?”

You know what I’m talking about…

As Christians, we know that sex was designed for marriage... High level of intimacy in the context of high level commitment.

So dating and engagement can be challenging seasons. Hormones are in full throttle, yet somehow you have to keep it together until you tie the knot.

But honestly…

If you’re asking “the question”, you’ve already lost.

It’s not about what you can get away with, or how close you can get to the line without crossing it.

The real question is, “What will serve our relationship the best in the long run?”

My wife and I dated for a year and were engaged for 18 months before getting married in September 2019.

We went through hell during our engagement – major illness, buried 5 relatives, tons of financial distress, and a whole bunch of drama.

It would have been SO easy to justify crossing the line in some of those really dark moments.

Even just a little bit…

A little feel here or a little sneak peek there…

But we held our ground.

It was INCREDIBLY difficult. Trust me, there were close calls on several occasions.
But when I was weak – she would pick up the slack.
And when she was having a vulnerable moment – I would remind her of the vision.

What vision?

A healthy marriage, as in…

-A relationship that honors and respects each other’s boundaries.
-A covenant built on the precepts of scripture
-A connection that refuses to budge on its convictions just because times are tough

We knew that if we could lay a foundation like this when we were dating and engaged, we’d have a solid start to our marriage.

And 3 years in…I can truthfully say that has been the case.

While engagement was brutal, marriage has been a blast.

My wife and I fall more in love with each other every day
We still haven’t missed a weekly date night since we started dating
And our marriage is being refined and purified by God on the regular

Stop asking what you can get away with.

Instead, ask yourself: What will serve my relationship the best long-term?

The answers start to become pretty clear :)

Cheering you on,
Sathiya

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