Honor Thy Mother

This weekend marks Mother’s Day, one of the most celebrated holidays around the world. While the dates may vary, nearly every culture sets aside a day to honor their moms.

I remember hearing about an assessment conducted by the US postal service many years ago that revealed the busiest day of the year for their workers was not Christmas, Easter, Father’s Day or the like. It was Mother’s Day.

It looks like we all inherently know just how important our relationships with our moms are.

Working through my childhood relationship with my mother was one of the most critical parts of my recovery from a 15 year addiction to porn.

In fact, I can confidently say that had I ignored this aspect of recovery, I could very well have an addiction still today.

After getting to a place where I was watching porn every couple of months, I hit a plateau. And when I did relapse, it would be intense. Something still wasn’t right.

I remember being in a counselor’s office, and he began asking about my relationship with my mother. All of my walls came up – I was caught off guard by the line of questioning.

He eventually got through and I realized that for nearly my entire life, I felt neglected by my mom. Not in obvious ways – she provided care, nourishment, and safety very effectively in my early years. But rather, her expressions of affection were limited, and it left me feeling a sense of neglect.

Of course, since my maternal figure did not provide me the affection I needed, then naturally I sought love and attention in other ways to compensate. That included chasing girls as a boy, but as an adult man it was pornography.

Many of the experiences that furthered my recovery were small things that accrued over time until they compounded into breakthroughs. Things like spending regular time with God, staying offline at night, getting comfortable speaking words of encouragement to myself in front of the mirror, emotional fitness, etc.

But when I forgave my mom for the role she played in the dynamics that partially sourced my addiction, I noticed an immediate change. I had more self-control, more presence of mind, and my heart felt satiated.

While Mother’s Day is not always about daisies and roses, I urge you to take advantage of this time of the year to reflect, learn and grow. 

God gave every single one of us a mother for a reason – there are things they are meant to provide for us that no man can. If your mother excelled and has that special place in her heart, TELL HER! Make it loud and clear.

And if your mother failed you or fell short in any way, use this holiday as an opportunity to forgive and heal.

Cheering you on,
Sathiya