FAQ: How Can I Be Attractive?

Whether you are single or in a relationship, men want to be attractive. We want to know that we are desirable and worthy of attention. Sometimes we fear that having these desires makes us vain or superficial, but the reality is they are innate. The question then is how can you be attractive? And the answer may surprise you.

When I was in ministry school, we had a module devoted to healthy relationships taught by a seasoned clinical psychologist from the south who worked for some of America's largest megachurches.

I was single at the time, so when he began talking about how to be attractive my ears perked up. He went on this long discourse about what a girl wants versus what a guy wants and what guys should be doing while they're single and so on. It was all really good.

Then he made this statement that CHANGED EVERYTHING.

"Men," he said with his southern drawl, "You may think that you need to have a fancy car, big salary, or nice hair to get yourself a pretty lady. But you're wrong. You don't need any of that. Attractiveness is an attitude, not an attribute."

The room was totally quiet, gobsmacked by his statement.

He continued..."If you want to meet the woman of your dreams and if you want to be husband of the year, you gotta check your attitude. Nothing is more attractive than a man with a sexy attitude."

The class laughed but his point was crystal clear. Attractiveness starts internally. 

Interestingly enough, I find myself 2.5 years into marriage and still desiring to be attractive. I want my wife to want me. I want her to see me and be wowed. And while that means basic hygiene and dressing like a decent human being, at the core of it, I know that I must continue to refine and strengthen my attitude towards her, myself and life in general.

The good news is whether you swam in the same gene pool as Brad Pitt or you're a regular Andy Samberg, each and every guy on the planet has the opportunity to be attractive. We can't control our physical features and we only have so much say in our material possessions, but attitude is something all of us can own and manage starting today. I suggest you take advantage of the opportunity.

Cheering you on,
Sathiya