Better To Be Dumb Than Proud

I’d rather be the dumbest one in a room of experts than the smartest one in a room of adequates. That is a loaded statement - maybe read that one more time. 

Somewhere along the way a famous guru said something to the effect of “You are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” I personally don’t take that one too literally – I’m not paying super close attention to the top 5 in my life. However, I think the underlying principle is of major importance.

When my addiction to pornography was developing, I had just moved across the country for my Dad’s new job. I was 13 years old and desperate to find connection amongst my new friends. While I was making an effort to make friends, porn was a great source of comfort to navigate the challenges that came with the season. 

Much to my delight, I was invited to a sleepover not too long after arriving. The guy hosting owned a huge property with ATVs and tons of open fields. Paradise for a bunch of teenage boys, right?

We had our fair share of time outside, but when the sun went down, we went indoors. One thing led to another, and before you know it, we were gathered around the computer screen watching porn. Each of us taking turns sharing our favorite content.

Before my family moved, I remember making a promise to God that I would stop watching porn in our new place. I loved the idea of a clean slate in a new setting. But it didn’t take long to realize that not only did I need porn to cope with the transition, my new friends were engaging in the same types of behavior.

Needless to say, I did not get free of porn while I was in high school! Watching porn together didn’t happen too much after that – but we spent a lot of time together in high school, and it is safe to say, most of us were watching on a regular basis.

My vigor for recovery wouldn’t intensify until about 10 years after the move, where I found myself in an environment of godly, pure, and high-integrity individuals whose sole purpose in life was to live devoted to the Lord. Once I was in the company of other people pursuing freedom and purpose, the shackles of porn started to shake.

Amongst a group of guys watching porn and not doing much to recover, I was doomed from the start. There was no inspiration, hope or model to get free, even though it was something I desperately wanted. But as soon as I was surrounded by people chasing the same goals as me – that’s when things changed. I got fully free 2 years later.

It’s better to be the rookie in a group of men passionately pursuing freedom than to be the one ‘struggling the least’ in a group of men who are simply medicating their issues.

So let me ask you – who are you spending your time with these days? Are they helping or hurting you in your journey to recovery (it is always one or the other – there is no middle ground)? What changes/investments might you need to make to be regularly surrounded by people that will encourage your journey to freedom?

We have a brand new offer here called DeepClean VIP, a chance for you to rub shoulders with the world’s leading experts in porn addiction, men’s health, and personal development. You also get to join a community of men from around the world pursuing freedom just like you, and the chance to get coaching directly from me. 

We’ve created VIP so that the sum of the people you are spending time with equals freedom! Imagine what it would be like to get a bunch of buddies together and attend a men’s conference featuring experts in porn addiction, spiritual health, family, finances and masculinity? VIP gives you a chance to do that every single week for a fraction of the price. You can find out more here if you’re interested.

Cheering you on,
Sathiya