Family is one of the most beautiful and complicated words in the English language.
God’s design for this thing called life is that we would experience it in the context of a safe, loving and empowering family environment.
Some of you reading this were actually fortunate enough to have an experience that matches the description above.
Many of you were not.
And some of you may not know where you land.
Personally, as a family led by immigrant parents, the question I always had rolling around in my head was “Are we normal?”
We ate different food.
Spoke different languages.
And didn’t really “look the part” (I grew up in the prairies to give some context lol).
As society is beginning to uncover the supreme value of childhood as a whole, parent-child relationships, and mother-father dynamics in our development, there are some risks that come with it.
One risk is that we blame all of our problems on childhood. We see this happen in our community sometimes (not often though because we have pretty low tolerance for it).
Another risk is that we live in some fantasy illusion that if only my parents would have done XYZ or not done XYZ, then my life would have been perfect.
And maybe the greatest risk of all is that we lose sight of the incredible qualities and contribution our parents made to our lives.
Working through your childhood is important for recovery.
You will probably identify a shortcoming or two of your parent’s along the way.
But make no mistake — you are responsible for your behavior, both the good and the bad. And if there is some good in your life, your parents probably played a role in it.
My greatest breakthrough in recovery happened as I began to discover some of these principles.
And many years later — we vacation with my parents, live 5 mins down the road from each other, and are plugged into the same church.
If you haven’t had a chance to work through any of these earlier formative elements in your life, I highly recommend going through the process with a professional.
If you’re working through it and hitting a wall, make sure you have the right perspective.
And if you’re making progress but it doesn’t feel fast enough — you’re human. That’s a pretty normal experience. Keep going, it’ll get better.
Cheering you on,
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