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"How To Win The Night"

Uncategorized Jun 16, 2021

Some of the biggest battles against pornography and masturbation are fought at night. It could just be that you’re up a little later than usual, scrolling on your phone. Or maybe you woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t fall back asleep so your mind starts to wander.

There are a lot of scenarios at night that can really hamper our journey to recovery. So here’s the deal...the main goal usually in tackling this subject is to get into a good sleep rhythm. That solves most of the problems. Then there is a small percentage of this problem devoted to wet dreams and other physiological phenomena that are of equal importance (more on that one next week). 

There are two things I can tell you for sure:

  1. You need a night-time routine
  2. The battle of the night is won during the day

Night-Time Routine

A night-time routine goes a very long way in the journey to recovery. I consistently do the same thing every night before I go to bed. I stop looking at screens 1 hr before bedtime. I put on pajamas, floss & brush my teeth (these pearly whites don’t happen by accident), and then read for 10-30 minutes. That’s it. Nothing fancy, but it is consistent.

Usually, in our group coaching sessions, nighttime routines will come up at some point. A guy starts to make progress and then he has a weak moment late at night and doesn’t know how to recover.

We tell him this…

For starters, shake it off. Relapse is a part of recovery so long as you learn from it! So how can you learn from your nighttime slips...

Well that takes us to the second point – build a simple and reasonable routine before you go to bed and do not compromise. Do it every day for a month and see what happens.

Battle Is Won During The Day

The better you manage your urges, thought life and decisions during the day, the better you will sleep. Good daily practices and rhythms are going to reap benefits at night. This should include a morning routine. I know, I know, yet another routine.

Once again, this doesn’t have to be complicated or elaborate. It might be that you wake up, pee, brew a cup of coffee and journal for a few minutes. Have at least one thing that personally edifies you and is not related to work. And again, don’t look at your phone! The first time I check my phone in the day is about 3 hours after I’ve woken up. 

If you’re struggling in the night, I would highly encourage you to start with the nighttime routine. That is going to work wonders. It will take 1-2 weeks to adjust and settle in, but if you carry it through I guarantee you’ll see an improvement.

Stay tuned next week, I’m going to talk about the physiological responses to recovery in more detail, including wet dreams.

Cheering you on,


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