“Why is change so hard?”
These were the exact words I muttered under my breath recently as I pioneered a few new projects in the DeepClean community.
So there I was, sitting at my desk, asking a deep philosophical question in pure frustration. And then I remember - change is the only way I can grow.
Some days, I love change and openly embrace the challenges that come with it. Other days, it’s a slog and I’m just trying to keep myself afloat.
I am fascinated by Jerry Seinfeld, who is one of the most successful comedians of our time. He is unique in many ways, and obviously his massive success in an inspiration.
In a podcast with Tim Ferris at the beginning of this year, he talked about growing as a comedian means honing your craft every single day. In fact, for 4+ decades Jerry has written jokes for an hour every morning. No wonder he’s so funny!
He said something that struck me: You must learn to master your brain. Your mind and brain are not the same thing, and if you do not learn to control this contraption that we call a brain, life will become chaotic.
That nugget was the inspiration I needed as I found my brain resisting change and all of the discomfort that comes with it. Trying new things is scary. Modifying what already exists is exhausting. And uncertainty of the future can be crippling.
Yet it is the only way we advance. The only way we grow.
I’ve encountered men who are too scared of making a change in their life, so they choose to stay stuck in pornography. Sounds crazy, right? But actually, it’s the same dynamic. Change is hard and scary. It is easier to stay in the comfort zone and hope for the best.
So how do you actually hurdle the challenges of making changes in your life to overcome porn?
Just do something. Reach out to a friend. Join a mailing list. Read a book. Take a course. Hire a coach. Talk to a counselor.
Sometimes change feels overwhelming because we haven’t broken it down into smaller bite-sized pieces. Rome wasn’t built in a day.
But little by little, step by step, as you inch closer and closer towards your goals, the process of change becomes more attainable. Trust me, I’m preaching to the choir here! I’ve reminded myself of this truth several times the last few weeks.
You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just need to start.
Cheering you on,
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