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FAQ: What If I Am Too Ashamed To Get Help?

Uncategorized Jul 21, 2021

The stats are clear, a majority of men around the world are struggling with porn. And while some of these men have no conviction about it and maybe find porn beneficial, we know that most would rather be free of it. So why aren't porn-recovery services overwhelmed with demand?


The #1 thing that keeps men from getting the help they deserve and desparately need is shame. And we can all understand why. Struggling with porn is a personal, private and shameful experience. Then you throw in the fear of rejection, the feelings of disgust, the pain of spiritual disconnection and it becomes an outright mess. So what do you do if you're too ashamed to get help?

Well for starters, be honest with yourself. Most people are not actually too ashamed to get help. They are scared. Fear of job loss, fear of being judged, and fear of opportunity are just a few things that often hold men back. Sometimes it's fear on the other side - fear of being too far gone, fear of failing in the recovery process. Whatever it is, acknowledge it. Don't mask it up with the cliché answer of "I'm ashamed." What's actually going on underneath?

Then you should ask yourself, "Have I found any services/programs that I actually trust?" This area can be problematic as well. Maybe you've reached the point where you are able to be upfront about your struggles and the underlying fears. But you're having a hard time finding a place or person you can safely let in to your situation. Let me just say - I get it. I felt that way too, and I still feel that way about other areas in my life where I am seeking improvement. Here is what I've had to realize: I cannot be a perfectionist. If I really want a result badly enough, I'll be willing to risk getting hurt/burned. As long as I sit back and wait until the perfect opportunity comes along, I am basically telling myself that I am unwilling to sacrifice my convenience for the desired result.

Lastly, if you really want help but you are too ashamed, then at least do some research on your own to get the ball rolling. There are plenty of great podcasts, YouTube channels and blogs out there providing useful content to help men achieve freedom from pornography. ANY guy can do this and it is a good way to get started. But let's be clear, you will have to do more than that (such as the first two items we discussed) if you want long-term results.

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