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Presence is a Present

Uncategorized Dec 23, 2021

It is indeed the most wonderful time of the year! I’m not sure about you, but I love Christmas. To be clear – I’m not the guy who decorates his house Dec 1 and starts blasting Christmas music, but when I say I love Christmas – I mean I love the week or so that revolves around Dec 25.

Christmas is a time to relax, spend time with family, eat copious amounts of food, and remember the incredible gift of salvation that was freely given to us in that lowly manger in Bethlehem. According to one of the world’s largest porn websites, New Years Eve, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and New Years Day are the 4 least popular days for watching porn (in the listed order). 

This tells us that the natural elements of this season – family, food, fun, free time – can be incredibly rewarding and enriching to the human soul. We ought to pay careful attention to what transpires during these holidays so that we understand what causes...

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FAQ: Do My Sexual Interests Reveal My Sexual Orientation?

Uncategorized Dec 16, 2021

Given the climate of our cultures and societies these days, the subject of gender, identity and orientation have never been more relevant. Today we are confronted with more options and opinions on the matter than ever before. I'm not one to shy away from subjects like this, and I've observed that even within the DeepClean community, men have had to work through difficult questions around the subject, so I thought it would be important to open the discussion a bit.

For starters, let's get some definitions straight.
Sexual Interest – A subject or category of content that elicits sexual pleasure or arousal
Sexual Orientation – An enduring pattern of romantic pursuit
Gender – A classification of masculinity or femininity based on someone's characteristics and traits
Identity – The character of an individual that forms their sense of self

While there are a lot of directions this post could go in, I simply want to offer a few points to ponder around the terms listed...

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Introducing My Book – The Last Relapse

Uncategorized Dec 16, 2021

This is an email I have been waiting a long time to write.

At the end of 2020, I decided to take 3 weeks off. It was a bold move considering how many commitments I have on a weekly basis, but it was necessary. I knew that I needed time to rest, decompress and recharge for 2021.

In addition to a few small projects around the house and the usual Christmas festivities, my main goal during this time off was to spend time with God. I knew this would be a crucial ‘outlet’ for relaxing, recharging, and acquiring vision for the future. It was time well-spent, and it helped me realize how important it is to regularly schedule time away. I came out of these three glorious weeks with one clear message from God for 2021: Write the book.

I’ve been wanting to write books since I was in my early 20’s. In fact, I actually wrote a book on hearing God’s voice that I never got a chance to release because my wife (fiancée at the time) became quite sick as...

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Better To Be Dumb Than Proud

Uncategorized Dec 09, 2021

I’d rather be the dumbest one in a room of experts than the smartest one in a room of adequates. That is a loaded statement - maybe read that one more time. 

Somewhere along the way a famous guru said something to the effect of “You are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” I personally don’t take that one too literally – I’m not paying super close attention to the top 5 in my life. However, I think the underlying principle is of major importance.

When my addiction to pornography was developing, I had just moved across the country for my Dad’s new job. I was 13 years old and desperate to find connection amongst my new friends. While I was making an effort to make friends, porn was a great source of comfort to navigate the challenges that came with the season. 

Much to my delight, I was invited to a sleepover not too long after arriving. The guy hosting owned a huge property with ATVs and tons of open fields....

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CLINICAL BREAKDOWN: Should I Take Meds For My Addiction?

Uncategorized Dec 09, 2021

If COVID has revealed anything, it is that North Americans (and really most societies at large) are accustomed to pharmaceuticals. We take Tylenols for headaches, pain killers after surgeries, antidepressants to improve our mood, and vaccines to enhance our immunity (that is about as political as this post will get FYI). What about porn addiction?

There are two classes of addictions: Substance and Process (behavioral). Substance addictions are more common – drugs and alcohol primarily. Process addictions include gambling, video games, and porn consumption. Porn is not yet a diagnosable addiction by psychiatric standards, but research is showing that it clearly is a form of process addiction.

Those recovering from substance abuse have a plethora of choices for medication. Some assist with withdrawal symptoms, others assist with the brain's rewiring process, and some satisfy cravings by mimicking the substance. While the idea of taking a pill to cure addiction is enticing, make...

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FAQ: How Do I Avoid Slips At Night?

Uncategorized Dec 02, 2021

Have you ever slipped up at night? Did you stay up a bit too late on your phone and one thing led to another? Or maybe you couldn't fall asleep so you sought out porn to relax your mind? Maybe you were up late working on a project and you convinced yourself a quick peek wouldn't do any harm...

Night time slips happen. In fact, the most common time of the day for porn viewership is 10pm-Midnight. A majority of of men are choosing to watch porn in the latter hours of the day. The question is why, and the answer is loaded.

On a biological level, your circadian rhythms are causing your mental state to shift. Without a good nighttime routine, your brain gets mixed signals about whether or not it's supposed to shut down. It may begin to seek stimluation instead of sleep.

On a psychological level, there are patterns ingrained from a young age. If you grew up experiencing comfort before you went to bed (hug from a parent, night-time snack, etc) and were not properly weaned, your mind will...

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The Power of Investing In Yourself

Uncategorized Dec 02, 2021

I was confronted with a question recently: Why am I so excited to see my friends/clients/family invest in themselves while reluctant to make similar investments in myself?

I felt handcuffed. It was one of those questions that I had to really think about.

When my clients make decisions to join a gym, confront their boss, quit their jobs to build a business – I rejoice! They are making huge strides that reinforce their personal value.

When my family members take risks and invest their hard earned resources into courses, programs, teachings, etc. There’s no sense of judgement on my end – just delight.

So why oh why do we joyfully cheer those around us to make investments in themselves and pump the brakes any time we get an opportunity to invest in our own lives? Hard to say – but whatever the reason/cause may be – I can officially say I’m done with it.

The picture above is from a recent mastermind I attended in Austin, TX. This is where I was...

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TESTIMONIAL: Chris Bielefeldt

Uncategorized Nov 25, 2021

What do you get when you take an unmarried software engineer, 30+ years of struggling with porn, and a girlfriend who is sick and tired of competing with porn stars?

You get Chris Bielefeldt

That was his exact situation just half a year ago. Today, he is a new man – thriving in unprecedented levels of freedom, confident in himself, and rekindled with his girlfriend in a way he couldn’t have dreamed when he first set out.

I know that between the podcast name and the general subject matter of our organization around manhood, the “new man” term probably feels a little cliché, but I legitimately don’t know how else to describe the change I’ve seen in Chris. His face looks relaxed, his composure is rock solid (after years of struggling to manage his emotions), and he even stands a bit taller (which is pretty impressive since the guy is 6’8”!).

So how did he turn things around so quickly? Well, I sat down with Chris to ask...

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You Can Move To "Jamaica" Too

Uncategorized Nov 25, 2021

Life is too short to not take risks.

It was about 6 months ago that I decided to quit my 9-5, pursue DeepClean full-time, and move to Jamaica for half a year. I don’t think the specifics matter nearly as much as the principle. EVERYONE can move to their “Jamaica.”

For some, that might mean getting married and starting a family.
For others, it might be getting more involved at church or starting a ministry.
Meanwhile, there are other people with a call on their lives to excel creatively – writing songs, creating dances, authoring books and novels.

The list can go on and on, but one thing I know for sure about you – you have dreams.

Those dreams are your “Jamaica.” They’re the land of passion, calling, freedom, goals, destiny, and opportunity. Your path to Jamaica will look different than mine. But one thing is for certain – it will be harder to get there if porn is in the way.

DeepClean is not about eliminating porn from your life...

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Choosing vs Deciding

Uncategorized Nov 18, 2021

Cheese or no cheese? That is the question I asked myself as I chose between these two beef patties. In case you’ve had Jamaican patties before in a place that was not Jamaica, I just want to let you know it wasn’t even close to the deliciousness of these two bad boys. They taste different here for some reason. But I digress.

Recently, in one of my masterminds, I heard a phrase that I haven’t been able to shake. Before I share it with you, allow me to give a little context.

Freedom 101 is that freedom means you have choice. If you are enslaved to pornography, masturbation, and/or any other sexual behavior, you have little to no choice when a temptation or urge arises. The lack of choice limits your freedom.

Someone with sexual freedom has choice. They will experience temptation, arousal, and urges, but they have multiple options in those moments. These concepts have been the foundation of DeepClean since its inception in December 2018 (hard to believe we are coming...

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