774 - The Simplest Way To Take Things To The Next Level (in any area of life)
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[00:00:00] Yo, yo, what's up my man? It's Sathiya Sam here. Welcome to Unleash the Man with Dan. Thank you so much for listening. I'm so honored that you tuned in here and look before I jump into today's content, if you're not following me on Instagram you should, you can join a hundred thousand plus followers. Who are getting great value from the content we're putting out on there. And look, let's not kid ourselves. Instagram is full of all kinds of foolishness, all kinds of nonsense, probably a bunch of stuff that's triggering and tempting for you. Following my account just gives you a chance to inject your feed [00:01:00] and the algorithm with some content that's actually going to help you.
It's going to better your life. It's going to help you quit any kind of sexual misbehavior that might be prevalent or involved. So the handle is Sathya Me Sam. The links in the show notes. That's probably easier for you to just click on instead of trying to spell my name. Although kudos to you if you can do that.
I'd love to see you over there. And we do reply to all the DMs that come through as well. If you have something specific you want to ask. Okay today we're talking about the simplest way. To take things to the next level. So look, first and foremost, we're definitely talking about if you're trying to quit porn addiction or you have some other sexual misbehavior that you are longing to get out of your life.
We're gonna talk about how to get things to the next level. Maybe you got a street going, maybe you can go, you know, about a week without it. But you want to push that until, you know, months and then years and then eternity. Or maybe it's a little bit less or a little bit more, but you want to take things to the next level.
I get it. Maybe it's financially, you know, maybe you want to start saving up some more money. You got a little bit, but you want to save up more. It could be in your relationships, you know, you're connecting. [00:02:00] Okay. But but you really want to take things to the next level or maybe. Your relationship is a complete disarray.
You don't even know if you're going to make it but you want to give it one more shot and you want to give it your best shot. I'm going to teach you today just a simple framework that I've been using in my life to level up all the areas I just mentioned, you know, to stay free of pornography for eight years to improve our financial situation.
My wife's finance, my wife and I. And our financial situation is night and day from what it was five, six years ago when we were engaged. And even four and a half years ago, when we first got married, we've made a lot of changes there. I look at my fitness, my physical life, my social life, my spiritual life.
I mean, I'm telling you this framework basically will help you improve in just about any way, shape or form. Now, before I give you the framework, here's the thing I want to say. One of the biggest mistakes, if not the biggest mistake that people make when they are pursuing a goal and they're trying to improve, and this is certainly true when people are trying to quit porn and quit pornography, we see this honestly, almost like a nauseating amount is people start to [00:03:00] get small amounts of success.
Okay, let's say on a scale of 1 to 100, it's like a level 20. Okay, they're like 20 percent towards the goal. They got things going. The biggest mistake that we see people make. Is they start to shift to something else. They're like, okay, perfect. I did that thing. And now I need to find something else to get from 20 to 40.
That's the biggest mistake. The second biggest mistake that we see people make is that they, they get to 20 percent and then they start to coast for a little bit because it's like, well, you know, this was a, this was a hard leg of the journey and I'm going to just chill for a little bit and I'll pick it back up later.
Okay. Now the, these two mistakes and, and the, the two main elements of the framework I'm going to give you today, they all center around this particular subject that I've been trying to talk about a lot more, because I really believe it's, it's one of the keys that kind of unlocks people in their growth and development, and that is.
Momentum. Okay. A man in momentum is very, very hard to stop. [00:04:00] When you are in momentum, there is nothing like it. And I'm amazed even observing my own life, I'm amazed at how many times I have momentum in a certain area. And I literally sabotage my progress because of all the things I just mentioned, I move on to something new that, you know, the shiny object syndrome or I start to coast for a little bit, you know, I give myself a pat on the back.
I say, I'll pick that back up later. Or, you know, I just, just failing to protect the momentum I have. Has cost me dearly. I wonder where I could be in some areas of my life if I knew this earlier. And so what I'm going to show you is really going to help you. And I want to specifically speak if you are, if you are fighting pornography addiction or something very similar on these two things, these are the two things I ask clients the most.
Okay. When clients get stuck, when they plateau these two questions, okay. These two questions I ask. All right. Question number one. What's working, what's working, and then there's a statement to each of these questions. Okay, what's working? Do more of it. So [00:05:00] if you tell me, you know what, Cynthia, I was struggling with pornography about once a day.
Okay. It was a daily thing. It was pretty bad. And I started journaling. And man, journaling has been so helpful. And I'm at like, you know, once a week. So what do I need to do next? Bro, you don't need to do anything next. You need to do more journaling. Okay, journal more often, journal longer, try some different journaling prompts.
Let's, let's work with what is already working because for you to build a new habit and to learn a new tool and to learn a new process that may not even work for you, significantly lowers the odds of you actually continuing in momentum. What is working, do more of it or do the same of it in a different way, but whatever you do, don't stop doing the things that are working.
Now, at some point, you know, if you're journaling an hour a day and then you journal two hours a day and you're like, Hey, I'm still relapsing twice once a week, rather. Okay. Well, at that point, then we kind of know number one, either I would still be interested in, can we journal in a different way?
Like what happens if you go and you journal outside? [00:06:00] What happens if we try some different journaling prompts? You know, what, have you ever tried doing a verbal journal instead of a written one, you know? I would be really curious to explore some different varieties before I look at something new, because when you have momentum, it's just easier to make iterations and adjustments than it is to kind of get something going all together in the first place.
So that would be my inclination. Okay, so that's the first thing is what's working. Do more of it. You know, I'll give you another great example. This is a totally different space. But if you are noticing like, Hey, you know, we're actually, I'm actually starting to save up some money. Like my savings account actually has some value to it.
You know, maybe for you, that's a couple hundred, or maybe it's a couple grand, or maybe it's, you know, even tens of thousands of dollars in your savings account. So how did you get there? What, what shifted? Well, you know, we're, we're not eating out as much. So then what do people do? They're like, well, there's all this money in the bank.
Let's start eating out again. And then the savings start to plummet, they start to decline again, because typically what happens [00:07:00] once you abandon the thing that got you the momentum, it's not just that you lose the momentum, that's what happens at first and we kind of go, Oh, you know, it's okay. It's not so bad.
You know, like, let's say you had, I don't know, 10 grand in your account, right? And then a month later you started eating out again. You're like, yeah, I still got 10 grand in the account. And then six months later, well, it's only nine grand in the account. It's not a big deal. And then a year later you have two grand in the account and you're going, what the heck happened?
Well, you, it's not just that you abandoned what was working. You tapped into either a previously existing or a new subset of mentalities that depleted your savings. So it's not just about the one thing that got all the momentum. It's about all the things that accompany it. That's what we want to keep going because it's the mindsets, the attitude and it's the habits and behaviors.
They all work in conjunction with one another to get that momentum going. We want to protect it at all costs. What's working? Do more of it. Second question is what is not working? [00:08:00] Eliminate it. Or if you can eliminate it, do more of it. Okay. So this is going to be like, if you're quitting pornography and it's like, Hey, you know what?
Social media really revs my engine. Okay. It really gets my brain going or really gets other parts of your body going. Look, do less of it, maybe even eliminate it. Start to clamp down on the things that are not working. The things that are working against your goals. You know, if you're trying to. Lose some weight.
You probably need to get rid of some of those tempting foods from your house because it's not working to have them there. Or, you know, again, some people are different psychologically. Maybe it is working to have it there because it helps you exercise that self control. Again, it's different for every single person.
I'm just giving you some examples, but the thing that I want you to pay attention to is what. Not working and how do I do less of it? And even better yet, how do I eliminate it all together? And I'm telling you, this is a massive one in recovery. This is very, very overlooked. But if you avoiding you know, your [00:09:00] basement late at night means that you're probably going to prevent a relapse.
Dude, like put a lock on that door, put a timer on that lock. Like, I don't know, do whatever you need to do, but do less of that. Do less of the things that are working against you, the things that are not working, do less of those. And if you can eliminate it altogether, environment is a huge one when it comes to recovery.
So that's one thing we love to start tracking with our clients is you know, when you do have a relapse. Let's talk about the thoughts and the emotions kind of the internal part and then let's also talk about the external component Okay, let's talk about the environment Let's talk about you know, what room were you in and some of those other pieces All of those are going to be super valuable super important information for you to identify some trends Some patterns and more specifically, maybe some things that you can eliminate or do less of in your life.
You know, if it's happening at night, if it's always happening on your phone, if it's always happening in the basement, you kind of get the idea. You can start to you know, do less of these things, quote unquote, you can start to do less. You can start to [00:10:00] eliminate these things and stack the odds in your favor of your desired outcome.
That's what this is. Ultimately. So that's everything for today, guys. Thank you so much for listening. Look, if you want more great tips, great advice and tools for quitting pornography, make sure you check me out on Instagram. Sophia me, Sam link is in the show notes in the meantime. God bless you guys. See you soon. [00:11:00]
