770 - Easiest Way To Build Confidence
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[00:00:00] Yo, yo, what's up, my man? It's Sathya Sam here. Welcome to Unleash the Man Within. I am your host. Thank you so much for listening. I'm so glad you tuned in. And then I'll tell you, I am coming off the heels of a bunch of travel. I just got back from Jamaica with my family and more recently was in Western Canada.
Speaking at, uh, kind of the Canadian branch of promise keepers, if you will. It's called impactus and, uh, I had the chance to speak with over 500 guys. It was a lot of fun. Um, [00:01:00] and I brought my family with me for that trip as well. Uh, cause we visited some good friends who are in the area. So it's been busy and I have to say, it just feels nice.
Nice to be back home. Nice to be back in the studio. And really nice to be with you guys. I hope you're having an amazing day. Uh, look, we're talking about a lot here. Uh, I hope this doesn't get too annoying, but we are answering listener questions on this podcast. I'm just too excited about it to not mention it.
Um, for starters, if you've heard some of those episodes, we'd love to get some feedback from you. What do you think about it? One of the best ways to just signal to us that you like it is to download it, listen to it yourself, and then share it with other people. Uh, we're going to really pay attention to the numbers and if you guys like it, we'll do more of it.
And the second thing you can do is submit your questions. So if you have a question that you want answered on air and maybe if you want some live coaching from myself, Sean, we would love to do that. I think that would be a lot of fun and you can just simply click the link in the show notes, submit your question and we'll get you on here.
It'll be a blast. Okay, so those two things really help us as [00:02:00] continue to grow the show and, um, and as usual, your ratings, your reviews, everything goes. A really long way. So thanks guys. I appreciate it. And without further ado, let's jump into today's content. So, um, we are working on a, on a new program and I can't reveal the details of that program yet, but it's kind of a program for, for what guys will do when they quit pornography.
So We've just become so successful in our first program. A lot of guys are saying, okay, what do you got for us? And, uh, you know, what else can we do to keep working with you? And we've kind of had blank faces in our tail caught between our legs, so to speak, because our focus for the last five years has been helping guys quit porn.
And I really felt this year we were to create something new that was going to help guys once they get free to develop themselves more, and I'll get into the more specific specifics of that. A little bit later on when the program is actually in full operation. But one of the contexts, uh, or one of the topics rather that I've been studying is the subject [00:03:00] of confidence. And this is a really interesting one because I remember when I was struggling with porn addiction, you know, one of the things that I slowly just felt kind of sucking out of me was confidence. You know, it felt like every time I binged or I relapsed, I just felt a little bit less sure of myself because. This was like the one area I couldn't master. You know, it was the one thing I couldn't figure out no matter how much willpower and how many solutions I tried and that starts to get to you. It doesn't matter how confident you are. Eventually you're going to start to feel less about yourself and you're going to start to second guess yourself and maybe some of those big dreams and aspirations you have, you're going to put just a little bit further out of reach because you don't feel like you're worthy or you don't feel like you're good enough or you just don't feel like you actually could make it happen.
And I know that was the case for me. So this whole thing of subject became of great importance because when I quit pornography and when a lot of our clients quit pornography, they feel a lot better about themselves. They feel like number one, they conquered the issue. And so [00:04:00] that in of itself, there's more confidence.
But number two, when you don't have something, You know, you don't have this hidden part of your life that's really confidence giving, you know, it just means you can present yourself. There's no masks. There's nothing hidden. There's there's no fear of being caught or found out. And you become a very different person when you are living your life that way.
And so those two things. But the third thing that's really cool when guys quit pornography is they start to take more risks in their life. There's, you know, there's everyone's different, but there's always a couple of things that they always wanted to do that. They just didn't because, you know, they had this problem.
They had this sin. They had the shame. They had the addiction. And once they broken free, it's like, you know what? I never told myself. Or I told myself I would never be able to climb Mount Everest, but now I'm going to do it. That's a bit of an extreme example. We haven't had a client do that yet, although I'm sure we will one day, but maybe, uh, some more actual client based examples would be, you know what, I'm going to go start that business.
[00:05:00] You know what? I'm going to go ask that girl out. You know what? I'm going to get more involved at my church. Uh, you know, in some cases it's, you know what? I'm going to commit my life to Jesus. You know, we've seen that happen quite a bit in our program. Uh, there, there's various degrees, various things that people say, you know what?
I'm going to do that because their confidence. They finally feel that confidence and, um, I want the same for you guys. Obviously that's a huge focus of this show is we want you guys to quit pornography because we know, and I know that when you quit porn, your life is going to get infinitely better.
Confidence is really just one piece of the pie, but. One of the things I've been studying is what actually makes people confident. Is it just that they don't have a hidden life? Is that enough to feel confident? Is it that they take risks, you know, and when you're a risk taker, you naturally just feel more confident in yourself and it's interesting.
I I've researched, I've even studied this amongst my staff. And so I, I asked them a survey at one of our staff meetings. We were just kind of getting into this topic a little bit and the, there's a lot of different strands to the subject. I can't cover it all [00:06:00] today. But the thing I wanted to share with you is what has become crystal clear in all of my sort of, uh, vetting, if you will, of the subject is that confidence comes from the habitual demonstration of courage.
Confidence is the byproduct of the habitual demonstration of courage. And it's funny because for me to, you know, uh, this is actually a great example for me to be on this podcast and to share my, about my porn addiction. That seems like a really courageous thing, but the honest truth is I I have done this so much now, you know, it's in front of hundreds of thousands of followers on Instagram and all the listeners here, the hundreds of thousands of downloads we have here as well, the stories out, you know, and not to mention all the platforms that I've interviewed on millions of views between all the other platforms I've been on. So there's, there's no courage exercise there. Whereas for you to maybe do the same thing or even to do it on [00:07:00] a small scale, maybe to interview on a podcast or do a TV interview or even do a social media post about your struggle with pornography. I mean, that would require major, major courage. So what what's actually courageous is specific to the individual.
There's no right or wrong necessarily. However, the important thing to note here. Is that you know inherently what requires courage and what doesn't. And if you're looking to get confident in an area, maybe you're trying to get confident with women so you can get married one day. Maybe you want to feel confident spiritually so you can lead your home better.
Maybe you want to be more confident in your job. You're going to have to demonstrate courage and courage is relatively uncomfortable. Even the most courageous of people have had to somehow circumvent The discomfort that comes with doing the courageous thing, if you don't experience a little bit of rub along the way, it's probably not that much of a stretch.
There's probably not that much courage required, and you're not going to gain that much confidence from it. Uh, you know, I remember back in the [00:08:00] day, you know, I was a big gamer back in the day. I don't even know how much of that I've shared on the podcast, but I used to play just copious amounts of video games, Halo 2 in particular.
And, uh, the campaign version of Halo 2, for any of you guys who play this, you'll remember there's different levels of difficulty. I mean, every video game has this in their single player mode. So when I, uh, when I could play at like the easy level, man, I would just destroy those guys. And it was the best feeling in the world the first time.
But if I kept playing on easy, I'm not feeling more confident in myself because I inherently know there's no challenge here. Right. There's people who could do more who can do this more. I could probably do more as well. And if I could do more, I would have more skill and that would actually be more confidence boosting for me.
So then I would play on medium and it was hard at first and you figured out, and that's a really good feeling, but then eventually medium gets too easy. And so you have to go to hard and then you go to expert and so on and so forth. And the point I'm making here is. Human nature will try to resist the challenges of [00:09:00] life or the opportunities to express courage.
But you, if you want to walk in confidence in this life in whatever area it might be, or just general confidence, seize those opportunities where you get to demonstrate courage. Because if you're willing to do that again and again and again, Confidence will start to brew in those areas. Not just because, you know, I'm confident cause I beat a single player mode on medium three times.
Yes. That makes me confident in my skill. Sure. There, there is that, but then when you start to do this in your finances and your fitness and your relationships and your faith and your family, what happens is you start to become a confident person in general, because no matter what it is, whether it's video games or it's talking money or it's doing something professional, You know that you can step up to the plate and match the challenge and demonstrate courage and maybe you don't even get really good at it, but maybe you get good enough that you get confident in those areas.
And that's what this is really about. So I hope this helped you a little bit today. [00:10:00] Look, um, you know, being confident. I don't, I can't think of anything more important for a man, especially in today's day and age. I hope you'll take this seriously and maybe even contemplate in the area of your life. You could be demonstrating a little bit more courage and walking out in a little bit more confidence.
So that's everything for today. Thank you so much for listening. Have an amazing day. Guys. Talk to. [00:11:00]
