Ep 763 - Scott Donnell
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[00:00:00] Hey, hey, what is going on? It's Athea Sam here. Welcome to Unleash the Man Within. Thank you guys so much for listening. I, I cannot tell you the treat that you guys are about to experience here with Scott Donnell on the podcast. Now if you don't recognize that name, I can tell you it's probably just a matter of time before you do.
This guy is on the up and up. He actually was just on some pretty big stages with Tony Robbins at his events. And, that was like right before we hit record. Um, but this guy is not like a woo woo kind of motivational dude. He's actually all about financial literacy. And specifically equipping parents to equip their children to handle finance as well.
I have never heard a message like this before. Um, he came and spoke to, uh, to my mastermind, uh, did a zoom call with us. And then, um, he spoke at a retreat. that we were all at together recently and I was, every time I've heard it, I just like, I'm furiously taking notes. Obviously, having just become a father myself, this subject is [00:01:00] near and dear to my heart and more relevant now than ever before.
And I know for those of you that listen to this show, many of you are fathers. Um, and many of you who maybe aren't fathers yet want to be one day. Uh, this episode was with you in mind. Um, and I think God calls us to be Good stewards of our resources and certainly that is way more than finances, but um at the same time We cannot ignore The role that finances play in our ability to to be stewards to get more and obviously to have opportunities in life and um I just, like I said, um, Scott is, you know, he's Bible based.
He's done his research. He communicates very clearly, um, and he's come up with tools. And that's the one thing I really like is when people don't just have a cool message, um, cause we can find cool messages anywhere, but this guy actually is, he's one of those people where it's like, Hey, here's, here's the message.
It's really, you know, Provocative. It's very empowering. Really, you know, makes you want to do something and change many parts of your life. [00:02:00] Um, and then he says, Hey, here's, here's how you can do it. And he's got some tools. So, um, you're going to learn a lot. You're going to glean a lot. The one thing I'll say, you know, I've been talking on the show about how we're working very hard to improve.
All the different aspects here the quality and the experience and the content itself And so this is my first time recording on a new platform where we're trying to get some better quality video Um, the the team did a great job as they as they normally do just putting it all together Uh, but I just want to thank you guys for kind of working with me as I go through some growing pains Um, I was running on jamaican internet and uh, anyways, it was it was a little bit of an adventure But um, but I think we got there we came up with something really sweet and I know you're gonna love it Without further ado guys.
Enjoy my interview with scott donnell
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: [00:03:00] right. Well, I'm here with my
Sathiya Sam: guy, Scott Donnell, and man,
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: you're doing some incredible things in the financial it's an honor to have you here, man.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: Thanks, buddy. Glad to be here. It's gonna be fun.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Yeah. And your message is really gaining traction. I mean, that's not just like something I'm saying. I mean, you were just with Tony Robbins. How long ago was it? A couple of weeks ago?
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: Yeah, like a month. It's crazy.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: yeah, it's amazing, man. So congrats on your success and thanks for covering up some time today. Maybe where we can start is just, um, why do you think finances is so important?
Like, I'm sure you've observed this as you've been talking to, now you're talking to tens of thousands of people on a pretty consistent basis. And everybody has different opinions and viewpoints of money. But the one thing we all have in common as humans is that we all care about it. Even the people who say, I don't care about money, they're lying.
They care about it, right? Maybe to a different degree. But it matters, right? [00:04:00] Why is money so important to us?
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: Yeah, I mean, I think, man, this issue of money. Haha. Uh, first of all, nobody knows how to teach it to their kids. Period. Schools don't teach it at all. I was just speaking at an event with 2, 700 entrepreneurs in the audience. I said, hey, just raise your hand so we all know. Raise your hand if you were taught good money skills growing up, like if you were fully prepared to hit the world.
Zero hands.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Wow.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: this issue of money, man, like people, if you go to social media, you're going to learn the wrong ideas.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Hmm.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: one teaches it in school. Banks don't care about you. Period. Especially if you're young and you don't have money. They don't have deposits for them to make money and banks make money when you're bad at banking.
All right. That's how they make their fees and credit card debt and blah, blah, blah. So, and then parents [00:05:00] just have no roadmap. So this issue of money, man, it's like, you gotta, you gotta make it. You gotta master money or it's going to master you. And the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And you can't serve both God and money.
I get that. But you better learn to understand money because I think there's more scripture about how to use money and create value in the world and, and the workers worth their wages and the parable, the talents and like, use your money for good influence and loving others. Like there's so much in there.
If you think that the Bible is communist, you haven't read enough of it.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Yeah, that's really good, man. So let me ask you why, um, Like you mentioned, it's important to understand money. How do people strike that balance between, um, I care about money. I think about money, but then I'm not serving money. It's not becoming my master. What, what do you think the balance is there?
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: Yeah, I think, [00:06:00] I mean, if we want to go deep into scripture and faith right away, let's go. My, my day job. My day job is I'm the leading expert in financial literacy. Okay. But my life calling is I love Jesus and I want people to get a true understanding of what money is and how to use it the right way. And so I think for starters, I actually believe that God will only give to you to the level that it flows through you.
Okay. Like, people ask me, what is the most important financial skill for kids to learn? Because we have seven money skills that we teach at dinnertable. com.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Okay.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: Earn, save, spend, share, invest, protect, borrow. Those are our seven money skills.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Hmm.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: everyone's like, well, what's the most important one? Well, you can't give what you don't have, [00:07:00] so earning is probably pretty important.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: True.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: You know, invest is probably pretty important because, you know, live like no one else today. So you can live like no one else tomorrow. Investing is the greatest way to learn delayed gratification. Uh, maybe it's save or spend. Like you got to learn to budget, pay yourself first. The 20, you know, 70, 20, 10 principle.
Um, but which one is it? And I go share.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Hmm.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: Unequivocally, it's the share. A kid that has, or an adult that has a generous mindset thinks about the world in a completely different way than anybody else. And I think it's the right way to understand money and let it flow through you. So someone who's generous is not an anxious person.
Someone who is generous is not an entitled person. They're not a victim. They're of service to [00:08:00] others. A generous person has an abundance mindset, not a scarcity mindset. They believe that tomorrow will be better than today. And a generous person actually believes that the pie can get bigger, and that I can create value for other people.
There's enough to go around.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: yeah.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: What better way to see money than that? So I think generosity and sharing, and we say the word share, Because kids don't, the first thing a kid doesn't think about with generosity is philanthropy, to help some kid in some other country. The first thing they need to understand is sharing a pencil or a toy with a sibling or a classmate, right?
Share. I have, you need, here, right? It's sharing. And sharing our resources is, I think, a better way to look at it. Because if you really believe that all things are God's, not ours, Then you're a steward, not an owner.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: [00:09:00] hm.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: a steward of God's resources in the world, and we should share them.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: yeah,
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: So that's why I think this, this issue of money, so often we're trying to like go paycheck to paycheck and make enough money to do X and reach some goal when in reality, I think that we need to believe and see that, Hey, we're just stewards of what God's entrusted to us.
And God will only give you. You know, this, this verse, I mean, we're going to get way into Jesus here. That's fine by me. I don't do that on normal podcasts. I do share my faith, but here we're going to go deep. I just had this crazy idea. You know, that verse that talks about, you know, God's not going to give you more than you can handle.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Right,
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: I think that that verse is talking about blessing.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: hm,
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: Everyone else talks about that as God's not going to give you more problems and pain and issues and trials than you can handle.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: [00:10:00] right,
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: in the issues and pain and trials of life is where we find God. It's where we grow close to God. It's where we increase our faith.
You know where people lose faith and become complacent? It's in the blessing.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: true.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: It's in the security of money.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Yeah,
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: it's in, Oh, I don't have to strive and grow. I can chill. I got enough. I can retire. I'm going to depend on myself and not God for everything. So I think when you look at that verse, it actually is talking more about God's not going to give you more on the backside than you can handle more blessing because the more, I mean, the worst thing for every human would be to get whatever they want.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: yeah.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: the worst thing that could happen for every human being. What we need are healthy struggles that grow us and refine us and turn us into the people that God has always wanted us to [00:11:00] be.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Yeah,
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: That's what trials are for. So I don't think God, I think God brings us through hardship and tough times to prepare us to be generous, grateful, thankful, good stewards on the back end.
Okay. And if not, you're a trust fund kid. You're, you're a, you have, you're a silver spoon Christian. Yeah.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: bit. And I know, uh, it might be helpful for the audience to hear a bit of your context because, um, you, you've had like lots of successes in entrepreneurship. I have to imagine you kind of putting your stake in the ground for financial literacy. And, um, you know, I, I know that your family has quite a, quite a rich, a rich lineage in entrepreneurship. Can you just talk a little bit about the context of why you care about this stuff to begin with?
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: Um, so I come from four generations of [00:12:00] amazing people. Okay. Uh, you know, they made hundreds of millions or billions of dollars in their companies and they gave it all away.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Hmm.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: except for a little, but they put it towards widows and orphans and ways to help people all around the world. And what they didn't do is entitle and spoil us.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Hmm.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: I couldn't be more thankful for that. They built heritage, not inheritance. And that's what, that's what I think kids need is they need a heritage. They need the last name that means something in the world, rather than an inheritance, just a big. Dollar value or assets when their parents or grandparents die.
Right. It, it, it's more about what you leave in your kids than to them is the point of this. And I come from that and I honestly, if you looked at my life, it's a product of that. It's a product of that upbringing, that training. They taught me to fish like that. and I am more deeply connected to my family than any [00:13:00] other scenario would've connected us.
Right.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Hmm.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: We have like no divorce, all my cousins and relatives. It's crazy. Like no estrangement, strong faith, incredible value creation in the world. Incredible impact. My cousins are killers, man. And it comes from implementing these strategies and my family, to be fair, probably did half of the things we teach, right?
We have these 18 strategies of family legacy that. I've been searching the globe for the last 10 years to try to find the best hundred entrepreneurs, not entrepreneurs, just families. The best hundred families I can find that had true legacy and legacy is not a dollar figure. Legacy is a last name that really means something in the world and their kids and grandkids and great grandkids blow by them in every metric.
And if you do that for three or four generations in a row, you're doing something right. And I wanted to figure out what it was. And so I have 300 [00:14:00] pages of notes, man. that's, that's, I just did it for my family cause I wanted to get better at this. And so now at dinnertable. com is what we train families to do.
We give them our 18 strategies that we learned from these a hundred families and almost nobody else does these things.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Hmm.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: and my family did half of them pretty well. And the other half we're still learning and growing in.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Oh, really interesting.
So, um, which of those strategies was the most surprising to you or maybe one that you weren't expecting to find?
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: Oh, all of them. I mean, almost nobody does any of these 18. Um, but the, the heritage, I just explained a little bit of it. The heritage, not inheritance, um, is one of the biggest ones that helps me understand like what this means. You know, it's 90 percent of generational wealth is gone by the grandkids. And the more you leave to them, the more it kills their value creation drive.
The more it, they won't risk, they won't grow. They [00:15:00] won't learn. They have guilt and fear and shame around it. So they either blow it all or they give it all or they make bad investments, uh, and it makes them weak and it, and it ruins, it ruins future generations. And so what we should focus on more is heritage and that's your family values.
The last name that means something, giving your kids roots and wings, telling the right stories in the family that are principle based stories. If you do that, right. Then it doesn't matter what their inheritance is. It really doesn't. Your family's going to thrive. Okay. So that's one of our 18 strategies is your, your kids need heritage, not inheritance, you should actually take your, the inheritance and invest it in heritage, invested in them, right.
And invested in the right coaching and the right experiences and, and really build them up strong. I think that's probably the best thing that you could do, but that's just one of them, there's a bunch more.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Yeah, we'll, we'll get into a couple more of them, but I did want to ask a follow up [00:16:00] question, which is, um, cause I heard you say this when you came and spoke to the mastermind, you talked about using stories to convey those values and to kind of etch that name, like an, an ascribe the value of. The name.
Can you give an example of what that looks like? Cause I think it's such a foreign concept. Um, and less like the story's epic, right? Like everybody's got some epic story about their uncle who did something cool with a great, great grandfather. But I think you're talking about something different. Like it, it sounds like it's more an intentional story.
That's actually communicating a principle or a value underneath. Can you give an example of what that might look like?
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: Yeah. So, you know, for us, we say stories actually equal your values as a family and, and, and heritage is what are the, what are the values of your family that you want to pass on from generation to generation? And it can't be some exhaustive list of things. I mean, we already know the fruits of the spirit and hard work and blah, blah, blah.
Okay. But you've got to have like three to five things that really make your family unique. You know, what is it for your family? And then you tell stories. [00:17:00] That exemplify those values because in, in 30 years, your kids are not going to be sitting around the campfire talking about some mission statement on the wall.
They're going to tell stories. So it's your job to tell good stories of your ancestors and your heritage that display the main values of the family. So in our family, for instance, it's faith, family, fish. My three year old says it every night at dinner. What do we, what do we stand for faith, family, fish.
So we love God, we love our family, and then fish, which is fun and adventure, integrity, service, and hard work. And so all the time we're looking for great stories of our kids displaying faith, family, and fish. And we tell stories of our ancestors coming across the Oregon Trail, or the Pilgrims, or going all the way back to the King of Scotland and the MacDonnell clan, and how they exemplify what it means to be our family.
And kids are five times more likely to enter the [00:18:00] world carrying on your name if they know what it means. They have deep roots. So what, you know, what we say in another one of our strategies is your kids need roots and wings. Okay? Deep roots for what it means to be a part of your family, um, and then wings to soar out in the real world.
those pieces are critical when it comes to your family.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Yeah, it makes, it makes a lot of sense And what age are you, are you telling these stories? Cause you referenced your son who I think is three years old, right? So is it pretty young that you start telling them?
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, as, as soon as they can remember anything, so two, three years old, one years old, some of them, but yeah, you just want to reinforce these things because you know, if you want to get rid of a family or kill a family, just get rid of the chief storyteller. Okay. This is, I mean, think about it.
Why are we on the verge of World War III? It's because most of the World War II vets are already dead.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Hmm.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: The stories that we tell mean the [00:19:00] world. And, and what we train is you have to give your kids both roots and wings. So they need deep roots of what it means to be a part of your family. They're, they're five times more likely to have success in the world if they know exactly where they come from and how to live to carry on the values of their family.
It gives them a rudder. Okay. And that's how they get wings to soar out in the real world. So yeah, as early as they can start remembering anything, start telling those stories and look for those stories of their family values in their life and celebrate it.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Yeah, yeah. It's so good. So, okay. Um, I have, I'm have my notes from when you spoke at the mastermind. I was taking them furiously, man. You have so much good content, a lot of good frameworks. I wanted to ask you about two other strategies here that you have with dinner table. Um, create value first, not money. Uh, what does that mean? And, and how would you do that?
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: Yeah. So people think financial literacy, you're supposed to teach your kids money. And this is what all parents do. They're like, we'll [00:20:00] try to split up their allowance, which is a bad idea. Into three jars of save, spend, share for lucky. And maybe we'll make them do a lemonade stand and we'll get them a bank account when they hit puberty.
Like that's literally what all families do. And none of that works. And what we found in studying these hundred families is that they taught their kids to create value first, not money. Money is just a store of value. So you have to learn to create value for others first, if you want to earn money. And, and there's, and that's only one type of value.
It's called material value. It's what you create and produce in the world. And money is the result. Right? We need to teach our kids to start thinking about things in terms of results. Creating value for other people instead of just getting money for existing. Like time and effort based. That's why allowance is a bad idea.
Hourly wage isn't a good idea. Kids need to learn how to get results. And that's really how you get transformation. But this idea of creating value, there's more types of value than just [00:21:00] material value. There's emotional value and spiritual value, right? So emotional value is what you, how you think and how you feel and help others think and feel better.
It's, it's what makes for good friends. It's what makes for the captain of the team, the leader in any situation, good family members have, they create emotional value everywhere they go. And then spiritual value is how you connect people to something outside themselves. Something greater, a greater mission to God, right?
Connect them to something above themselves and they won't be anxious or selfish or prideful or egotistical or entitled. It creates spiritual value. Jesus is the greatest source of spiritual value to ever exist, right? So there's, if you get kids to think in terms of creating value for other people. So now it's not about what the world has to give me, which is an entitled mindset.
It's about what I can provide and create value in the world. [00:22:00] Right? Which is what we want all of us to do. We just, you don't realize how the world systematically breeds this out of us as we grow up. Right? We day trade. Kids today and Gen Z and even adults, let's be honest. We day trade entitlement and victimhood as if it was money.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Hmm.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: If you go on social media and everything, the more you are entitled or victim, you have victimhood, the more you get likes and comments and followers in a lot of ways.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Right.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: the world would be way different if we decided to say, how can I add value today to others? In those three buckets, the best question you could ever ask yourself or your kids before bed every night.
Is who did you add value to today? Period.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Hmm.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: question you can ask. I got it from Sharon Lecter. She's like, she did Rich Dad Poor Dad and the Cash Flow Game and [00:23:00] she's like a genius. She's like the godmother of financial literacy and she said that was the one question that changed her life. Her dad asked her that every night before bed.
Who did you add value to today? And it gave her that like lens to see the world under that light. Rather than Who hurt me today? Who, what did I not get that I deserve today? What, you know, taking so many things for granted, it gets, this gets all that out of the way.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Hmm. Yeah, it's really good. Uh, tell me a little bit more about the allowance thing. That was something that I think I've really appreciated. Cause my, my wife and I just, I've just entered parenthood. So we're not like, you know, my, our kids four months old. So we're not quite at this stage yet, but I feel like it was a godsend to get your content when we did.
Cause we've. Had some really good conversations. I've never been a huge fan of allowance, and I like some of the ideas you had around it. Can you talk a little bit about why you don't think allowance works?
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: Yeah. So allowance is basically socialism. It's [00:24:00] codependency. Uh, it, it's lacked to, it's linked to a lack of motivation and an aversion to work. Okay. But most Americans give their kids an allowance or they give them money for birthday and Christmas. And so does grandparents and everybody else. Your kids do not need to learn how to spend your money that you gave them.
That's why you can't give a kid 10 bucks to put in the offering plate and expect them to learn generosity. That doesn't teach it. They have to earn it first and then be able to give it out of their own hard earned money and save it and spend it and invest it with their own. They got to feel the pinch, man.
If not, it's just, it's useless. Okay. And you can't homework money either. It's got to be done in the real world. That's why schools struggle. Right. So what we said is, you know, what we've learned from all these families is the best way to do this is called the home economy system. And, and by the way, chores is also, uh, goes wrong in a lot of families.
Cause what they do is they either give them allowance to do [00:25:00] chores, which is not a good idea because half those chores you should never pay for that's their role in the home.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Right.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: half of those chores, you should pay one offs so that they can learn individual results and value creation. You can't just make them do some small list and give them their allowance.
But then if you say, well, just do your chores like you're told, and we're not going to give you any money. Then the problem becomes now you're paying for everything as their parent. They're not earning anything. And now that's the fastest way to entitle them because the bank of mom and dad is just open.
And you're paying for everything, right? So what do you do? It's called the home economy system. Three E's. You set the expectations in the home first. Here's the stuff that they do without pay.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: What
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: Make clean room, homework first, dishes, trash, all that stuff. Those are expectations in the home. No money involved.
Then number two, you give them expenses. That's the second E. [00:26:00] And expenses are like toys, games, sports. If they're going to play them, birthday presents for friends, social outings, cavities, anything that you pay for for them, start handing those off. And if they are in charge of expenses, now they have a motive to earn money by doing the 30, which is extra pay gigs.
And these are a big list of things. We've got hundreds of them in our Gravy Stack app or at dinner table that you can get. And they basically are ways that kids can create value to earn money to cover their expenses after they've saved. And invested and shared, right? And so these gigs, we don't call them chores because chores is in their mind.
Kids think, Oh, more homework. This is annoying. I'm going to fight over it. We call them gigs because you're doing all these gigs around the house, sweeping, make a meal, wash the windows, clean a bathroom yard work. But then what you do is you add in all these brain gigs and brain gigs are super fun. And they love [00:27:00] the whole thing.
When you do brain gigs. So those are like, Hey, if you listen to this podcast and you tell me two things you learned and one thing you're going to apply today to your life, that's worth 4.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Right.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: this rich dad, poor dad book or our book value creation kid, right? That's worth 10 bucks. If you read that book and tell me how you're going to apply it right now, that what incredible dinner conversation starters right there, you know, and we have tons plan the next family trip on a budget, cancel subscriptions that we don't want anymore.
Your 10 year old should do that for you. The average family saves like 550 bucks just by having that one challenge brain gig for their kid to do. So there's tons of them. We have hundreds of these and they're practical capabilities and skills that the kids learn and they actually get paid to do it so they can start covering expenses that you pass off.
And every time you give them expenses instead of you paying for it, you just saved yourself hundreds of dollars a month. you have money left over to pay them to actually learn how to budget. [00:28:00] And learn delayed gratification and learn price of goods and never ask you for money ever again. Now they know how to earn it right?
No more conflict over chores. One of our dads just said he has two daughters and he's like, one of them's in college, actually. He said, we, our kids went from arguing over who has to do chores to who gets to do gigs. And they're finding ways to create value all around the home.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Wow,
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: It's the best way,
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Yeah, I I definitely see the value of that. What do you say to someone? Because I feel like the first two E's or sorry, the first in the 30 the expectations and then the the extra pay. I think people can get that. I think I imagine the expenses is where you kind of get a rub like Um, and then I'm like, wait, the kid has to buy the birthday kid, uh, the birthday gift for his own friend.
Like, I know for me, that's where my wife was like, really? Like, I think that's where she didn't quite see it. And then I, or she starts to [00:29:00] ask like, but is that age dependent? I know when you were teaching on this in her mastermind, there's a guy who, whose kid plays travel baseball and there's just no way his kid's going to earn thousands of dollars to cover travel and everything with his gigs.
So how do you take care of some of those nuances or is there a middle ground? How does that work?
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: Yeah. There's, there's, there's a middle ground. You're not, you know, you don't give them expenses that they have no way of earning to cover, right? Thousands of dollars of travel or some, you know, wealthy parents, they get their kids coaches for, you know, pay tons of money. Okay. What I'm saying is they need to have expenses so that they have a motive to create value around the home
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Uh,
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: on, on top of the expectations, the free stuff that they never, you never pay for.
So. You know, it's, it's not a legalism. It's not a legalistic system, right? It's not every little dime that they're now in charge of. You can do that, but you always want to make sure you give them enough opportunities to earn, to create value for you. I mean, if you want to stop doing all the laundry and all the cooking and all the car, [00:30:00] everything, have them start creating value and helping you out and pay them for it so they can cover the expenses that you were paying for, right?
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Yeah.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: the point. I mean, the, these expenses. are, are so valuable for their future. Like, let me give you an example. My daughter just, um, couple of weekends ago, she bought the present for the birthday party for her friend. She's seven years old. She was the only kid who bought the present for Dawson's party.
So she goes to the party. Every other parent bought the present and just threw it in the bag and chucked it on the table. They didn't even open those presents at the party, by the way. Okay. Halfway through the party, Reagan runs up to me and she goes, can I please open my present or can Dawson please open my present right now?
And I'm like, yeah, let's go. So they sit down in the middle of the ninja gym and he opens Reagan's present and he is beaming. He loves it. And she is beaming from ear to ear [00:31:00] because she bought it and she earned the money and all the other parents are standing around. They're like, what is going on right now?
And I'm like, Oh, she's just learning generosity for the rest of her life. That's how you raise a kid to be generous. You don't buy the, all the presents for them, for the parties, have them do it. And it's just a simple system. Like she just used her gravy stack debit card. It was that easy. Right. Took an extra 10 minutes.
She went to the store, grabbed the present, swiped the card and threw it in the bag with the tissue paper and brought it to him. Now she's responsible for all of that stuff in the future. It's really powerful. And that's when, when she's 25 years old. it's She's going to be more generous with her friends and more thoughtful for her friends and these other kids.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Right.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: That's the point.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: powerful.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: That's the point. My, my buddy, you know, his daughter wanted to go on a mission trip. 4, 000 to go on this mission trip. She was 14 or 15 years old, 14 years old. He's like, you're, it's [00:32:00] six months away. You're paying for this. Not us. We want, she really wanted to go. It was an Africa mission trip.
She started doing like basketball lessons because she was like a varsity basketball coach. She started doing basketball lessons in their backyard with a ton of other young girls. She made 6, 000 in six months doing it. Not only paid for that trip, but learned this like critical skill right from then on out.
And then she loved the trip even more. That's the point.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: that skin in the game is a big deal, isn't it?
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: It's a big deal. And most parents, they say this, they go, I just want to make sure my kids don't have to deal with all the things I had to deal with growing up. I just want to give my kids all the opportunities. I never had. I want to give them all the things I never had. Well, what made you, you, okay. Don't, don't pass on trauma or neglect or tough love, [00:33:00] but you should put them in situations where they can earn and grow.
That's what we need to do. It, I don't think it's a good, you know, most parents think that to be a good parent, I got to provide all these things for all the kids.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Hmm.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: That's how you entitle them. Actually, that's not being a good parent. That's raising future children, not future adults.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Hmm.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: thing you can do as a parent is to prepare them for the real world, and you can do this with love.
Okay. This isn't tough love. This is actually like, here's the way I would say it. You go to your kid or your teenager and you go. Do you want more freedom, trust and responsibility from us? We kind of want to give that to you, but do you want it? Every kid's like, absolutely. Okay. So mom and dad have been thinking about this and we want to, we want you to be in charge of making the decision on what to buy for this.
Like you're going to be in charge of these presents and these social outings and this, this game that you want to get. We want you to be in charge because we want you to be [00:34:00] responsible and have more trust from us. But we also are going to give you like, a way to earn three or four or five times as much money around the house or in the neighborhood from now on.
Do you want that? Yes. Every kid wants that. Okay. Awesome. Let's go. We're going to help you. Right? So now you become like a closer relationship, stronger, you know, family culture, and your kids are learning all the critical skills to be successful for the rest of their life. And this can happen as early as six years old in the app, our gravy stack app.
Or if you're two to five years old, we have something called the quarter system. Same thing. They're just using quarters every time. And we, we go through that at dinnertable. com. If, if you have young kids, that's an easy win. The quarter system from ages two to five.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Yeah. I was shocked when I heard you say that the first time that you can start as young as two, but the quarter system is really cool. Like I'm, I'm ready. My kid's like, what, 18 months out from that? I'm ready. I'm, I think
it's a really cool idea.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: My three year old does it all the time.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: [00:35:00] yeah, it's amazing. So, um, what, what would you say to parents who are Maybe, maybe they, they see the value of this, but in their own life, they've struggled to really manage finance as well. Be those stewards and whether it was a lack of education, poor decisions, whatever, um, do, do parents need to get their stuff together first before they can start to teach this stuff to their kids? Like, is there, is there a progression there or do you start right away? And the parents learn as, as they learn to be better parents to their kids.
Hmm.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: never met a parent that thinks they have it all handled and figured out. Uh, no. In fact, most of what we teach at dinner table. Um, it, that you learn alongside your family, you don't, you don't have to mash this stuff first. You just have to implement little things at a time and it helps you grow as an adult and it helps your kids and teenagers or even adult kids learn this stuff as well.
I mean, every single one of our 18 family legacy [00:36:00] strategies, you can do them at any time, regardless of your, your kid's age, grandkids age, maybe you have no kids, like the best time to start it is now. Okay. And you don't have to have all your stuff figured out. In fact, everything that's led up to your life until this point is not a setback.
It's a setup for the future. The difficult things, the stuff you didn't know about, the money trauma, the issues in your life, whatever it would be, is a setup for the future to have even a greater impact. So that's the beauty of doing this. You know, the biggest question I get asked is where were you 20 years ago?
That's like the number one thing people ask me. And I'm like, and they're saying it because they're disqualifying themselves from legacy. They're like, Oh, it's too late for me. I have too many screw ups in my life. I'm divorced. I have business problems. I'm not good with money. My kids, like, eh, they're already screwed up.
Or, I hate my in laws. You know, like people say this all the time in their head. And they're [00:37:00] trying to disqualify themselves. Well, I'm telling you, you can make little changes. Like little hinges swing big doors, guys. Little changes move mountains in your family. And what I mean, your other option is to not and just let the issues continue.
I guess you could do that, but if you really want to make life better and stronger for future generations, just let us help. Like it's pretty simple. Um, you know, 90, 93 percent of all the time you get with your kids is used up by the time they're 18.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: That's
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: And that's a powerful statement, man, for anybody with kids.
Or if you have older kids that are older than 18, why don't you reclaim the last 7 percent with them? Like reclaim it. There's a way to do this that really repairs broken relationships in a family. It does not matter what's happened in the past that can be used for incredible, um, refinement for the future.[00:38:00]
Right? Like. Everybody thinks that they just, they're not qualified for this because they have a mess up. Well, welcome to humanity. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. But you know what God's really good at? Taking muck and turning it into gold. He's really good at that. In fact, I would consider that his unique ability.
In fact. And so, you know, I think that And instead of saying, Oh, this isn't for us, our last name is not worth something. Why don't you just make a few little changes and we'll help you get there. And very quickly, these aren't like, it's not going to take you decades to implement this stuff. This stuff takes days and weeks to start transforming and having these conversations with your family and really transforming how you guys live and they're quick and they're really helpful.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: And your, your platforms have really made it very easy as well, which I really appreciated about gravy stack dinner table. And we'll [00:39:00] definitely make sure that, you know, those are super accessible to the audience. I wanted to ask, you mentioned money trauma a couple of times. Um, what, what would be an example of money trauma?
Cause as you say the term, I'm trying to, I'm like, do I have money trauma? I think I do. I probably do. You know, nobody's perfect. Nobody's handled it perfectly. And like you said, a lot of parents, like I know, My parents, even in conversations around money have said, you know, they, they would have rather they're done things differently.
So what is money trauma and what, how are people working through that in this process?
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: Yeah. So nobody talks about money trauma, but it's because no one's qualified or even seen it. But we, you know, we've helped 7 million families now. I see a pretty strong link here. Um, money trauma is the way that you were raised around money and the things you experienced as a kid, um, around the issues related to money.
Maybe you were a silver spoon kid and your parents paid for everything and covered everything. Um, [00:40:00] provided enough and, but they also might have used it for bribery or coercion or buying love. Maybe you saw a ton of conflict in the home around money. In fact, kids today, 95 percent of the kids that we do our studies on report that money is the biggest fight in the home and they'd rather not talk about it.
Okay? Parents say things like, hey, we can't afford that. You know how much that costs? Money doesn't grow on trees. Do you know how hard I worked to get you guys this, and you guys just blew it? You just didn't care. You took it for granted. They see parents argue over bills, and work, and travel, and all these things.
So, or maybe you come from a family where you, like, money was scarce, and you were paycheck to paycheck, and that causes immense stress. And so then you grow up, and you go, I'm gonna make sure my kids never have to worry about money. Right? We overcorrect. And every generation I've seen, it's like a teeter totter.
They just over correct to the max and they're causing more problems instead of [00:41:00] less. And so this idea of money trauma is big and it's not as acute as like a really like abuse or neglect or you know, all these other really bad traumas that can happen. But money trauma is the only trauma that you work for for the rest of your life until you heal from it.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Right.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: And what we don't heal from, we pass down to the next generations. And so this idea of money really needs to be attacked at the root. It's like, okay, why am I working? Why do I care this much about money? Why do I have this? Why is this so much of my time and energy? You know, obviously you gotta pay for life.
You gotta make money. You know, or else you're in a non profit and other people are paying for you. But. Money does make a lot of the world go around, but the way in which we go about understanding money is highly influenced by our entire lives up until this point. [00:42:00] And the best way that you can heal from this is to put money in its proper place and understand the mindsets that actually allow you to thrive with money, but actually become the master of money or it will master you.
Right? We don't realize the things that are subconsciously spoken or thought about all the time as it relates to work and money and status and achievement and shopping therapy, you know, and keeping up with the Joneses and comparison, you know, or you run away from money like it's evil. That's a poverty mindset, right?
Money's here today, gone tomorrow, right? So there's all these things that money causes in us. And we don't realize it's affecting almost every decision and especially it doesn't, how it affects our kids. Okay? It's, again, it's more about what we leave in them than to them. Like money's a big deal. And it needs to be put in its proper place so that it doesn't have to be [00:43:00] the biggest deal.
Right? I am a huge fan of financial freedom. Right? I think that there is enough to go around and there's a lot of skills that we teach. We teach families how, how to understand money the right way, because I think it can be used for incredible blessing. It can be used for incredible help. You know, Paul said it himself.
He's like, use your resources for ministry, like use it to win people for the gospel.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Yeah.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: but, but then also you can't serve both God and money, right? The love of money. Right? But then there's the parable of the talons. Then there's the verse that talks about let the beast mow the grain, let the ox mow the wheat as it's plowing the field.
actually has to do with enjoying money. Okay, there's a lot here that we have to unpack. It's just that when, you know, money is a god, it's an idol. That's why you [00:44:00] can't serve both it and God, right? So if something is an idol or something is an identity structure, which is what an idol is, it needs to be sacrificed at the foot of what you really believe to be your God, right?
It's got to be laid down. And so, uh, yeah, a lot of this stuff needs to be dealt with head on and we go through these tools in our workshops and in our dinner table program that really helps families heal from this stuff. And really pass on the right mindset. So one of the gifts that we want to give people before I forget, because I know I got to head out here in a minute or two.
We'll give them the 18 strategies of family legacy. I know we've only covered like two or three today, but we want to give you guys the rest of the 18. So if you just go to info. dinnertable. com, we'll, we'll give you guys the rest of those. You can also book a call with one of our experts. We have a bunch of these family legacy experts that just help families all day, [00:45:00] every day.
So they give them the money skills course, they help them out with the strategies for their family, regardless of what age of their kids are, they're like, okay, use these two right now. So if you want to book a, like a 20 minute session with them, you can do that right there. Just go to info. dinnertable.
com. That's the best way to follow up. Uh, and then we'll, we'll give you those and let your families thrive. It's pretty simple.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: Man, that, that's perfect. Um, Scott, one last question you mentioned in the hundred families you studied. Um, it was more about the heritage. It was what they passed in the kids, not to them. But I, I think I heard you kind of implicate that they still did pass on something of monetary value or some financial element. What, how did they determine that? Or what, was there any commonality amongst the families of what they actually passed down monetarily?
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: Yeah. I mean, I had 35 or 40 minutes here with you, but if I, if you gave me a day or two, I'll change your life. This is a big one to unpack. Okay.
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: okay. [00:46:00] Okay. I didn't
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: It doesn't, it doesn't mean nothing obviously, but there's a difference between an I love you gift and a coasting gift. The moment that future generations can coast at all with a gift, it's not helpful.
Okay. Um, and I love you gift says, Hey, we have resources. We want you to know we love you. You can do these, you know, there's a way to do their first phone. There's a way to do their car. There's a way to do college if they go or not. There's a way to do like the 25, year old. I love you gift, right? There's a way to set up how your family gives together for future generations and what's being passed on to them.
So, yeah, this is a much bigger thing to unpack. And I know a lot of people. Want that info. So again, it's part of the dinner table program. We can give you more But I can only give you so much in a little bit of time
riverside_sathiya_raw-synced-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0002: [00:47:00] Yeah. Yeah. Fair enough. Well, I do appreciate your time. Like I said, we'll put links in the show notes to everything. And, uh, it's a phenomenal message you have, man. You're going to keep changing a lot of lives. So God bless you. We're cheering you on.
riverside_scott_donnell_raw-video-cfr_unleash_the man wit_0001: Appreciate it man. God bless you. Thanks
Alright, well, Scott Donnell. I mean, I don't know what else to say. I so appreciate that dude's wisdom. And, uh, like I said, you're going to be hearing that name a lot more. This guy's on a mission and, uh, the world is responding. Look, uh, go check out the dinner table stuff that he's talking about. That stuff is legitimate.
And, you know, we kind of got a taster on this podcast of those strategies. They're really good. And there's 18 of them all together. We didn't have time to cover them all today. So make sure you go check those out and take it all in. And maybe if you're hearing this, you know, the one thing that, uh, we didn't get a chance to talk extensively about in this show, but I think we all think it when we hear this kind of content is we have to be the example, right?
Like we don't want to just set our kids up to be good stewards. We actually want to model what it means to be a good steward so that [00:48:00] our kids naturally follow. follow us and follow in our footsteps. And I know that sometimes, um, you know, to, to even step into this kind of, uh, uh, an area, you know, game finances in order feels daunting because you have other areas that you want to get, um, integrated as well.
And so if you're looking for some help, we're With that, specifically with quitting pornography, you know, that's what we're all about here. I want to encourage you, you know, this might be a great opportunity for you to do that, to be that role model, that example to your kids. And, um, and not just, not just in finances, not just in professional career or even church life or anything like that, but in all aspects, just even just a core sense of being a man of integrity.
Um, if you want to be that role model for your kid and you know that you need some extra help to do that, uh, there's a link in the show notes for you to find out more about my program, Deep Clean, and how we help guys quit porn in 120 days or less. Uh, we'd love to see if we can help you as well. Uh, we do work with a specific kind of client, um, and so we want to make sure that, uh, that things are a good fit.
You can find out more by clicking the link in the show notes. God [00:49:00] bless you guys. I really do pray, uh, that the content today, um, brings exponential growth and increase to you, uh, your finances and your kids finances and that we continue to just change our generational trajectories here for the better.
Uh, much love to you. Thanks for listening. We'll talk soon. Bye bye.
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