EP 759 - Matt Galbraith
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Sathiya Sam: [00:00:00] Yo, yo, what is up my man? It's Sathiya Sam here. Welcome to Unleash The Man Within. Thank you so much for listening to my interview today with Matt. And Matt is the newest member of our coaching staff at Deep Clean. Uh, we've been expanding quite a bit here in the last little bit. And Matt is maybe one of the clinching pieces of this season of kind of hiring and expansion.
Matt has a rich history in recovery. He's actually going to celebrate 14 years of freedom this year, which is crazy. What a crazy number. Um, has a crazy story about, you know, his wife with the bags packed, uh, at the door, basically saying, Hey, I'm leaving you. Uh, I can't deal with your addiction anymore and him getting one more chance and making it count.
And as they say, the rest is history. So, uh, we cover, you know, the fascinating details of a story. We get into his recovery philosophy and you know, I like bringing our staff on the show if I'm being honest, because I talk about my practice all the time I, you know, you guys get little glimpses and little, uh, bits and pieces of what we're up to, [00:01:00] but it's always special when you just get to hear from another coaching member in, you know, really raw, candid kind of details.
So Matt is fantastic. He's been an incredible fit to our culture and what we're doing, and he's already changed a lot of people's lives and we kind of get into that a bit on the call. So. So, uh, what you're going to get from this interview today, you're going to hear a fascinating story. And those of you who are in a marriage that is maybe struggling or has been hindered by pornography, you especially need to listen up.
Uh, you're going to hear depths of wisdom from somebody who's been clean for 13 freaking years and Matt is in his fifties. And so we also kind of just talk about life transitions and, you know, just kind of that there's just, there's just wisdom that comes from people that are, um, are at that age. And I know a bunch of you listening are in that demographic.
I think you'll really connect with Matt and I think for, you know, people that are younger like me, you know, I'm in my thirties I love hearing from people that are a couple decades ahead about life and philosophies around [00:02:00] parenting and Marriage and you know all that different kind of stuff. I just think there's so much to glean and to learn So this is again a very broad spanning conversation Really insightful.
I think you're gonna like it a lot without further ado. Here's my interview with Matt Galbraith So here's the million dollar question How are men like us who work hard, have good motives and a God given purpose supposed to fulfill the calling on our lives and the dreams in our hearts, all while establishing sexual integrity, thriving relationships, and a meaningful connection with God?
That is the question. And this podcast will give you the answers. My name is Sathya Sam. Welcome to Unleash the Man with Ben.
Matt Galbraith: All right.
Sathiya Sam: Well, Matt, uh, welcome to the show, man. It's great to have you here. Oh, thank you so
Matt Galbraith: much, Sathya. Really glad to be here. So
Sathiya Sam: you have been free of pornography for over 13 years. It's going to be four. Is it going to be 14 years? I think [00:03:00] this year, right. In 2024.
Matt Galbraith: Yeah. Since 2010. Yeah.
Sathiya Sam: Wow. Yeah. So I mean, we've had people on the show that have been, you know, I think around maybe like I'm, I'm hitting eight years now.
So people in that range, very few people. That we've spoken with have been 10 years plus, and, you know, to be 13, 14 years is incredible. Tell me what, what do you attribute the most to that degree of success? Um, you know, now being at 14 years, what, what do you think has contributed the most?
Matt Galbraith: Wow. Great question.
I would say the simple answer and that is intimacy with Christ. Just understanding that I was already free. I didn't understand what freedom in Christ really meant. And that he had already accomplished all the work to set me free, but I wasn't experiencing that freedom. And so I love that word freedom.
It just has become so real to me. And so as I began, as the spirit began to reveal, you know, what does this mean to be free? I've already [00:04:00] done all the work to set you free. Then it was learning and growing and maturing. And the freedom that, that I already had. I was always coming from a place of thinking I was lacking and I had to go after it.
I had to search for freedom and the spirit was just revealing, Matt, you've already got it. I've already done all the work. And so now let's develop that intimacy. Let's develop that. Here's what you got. Here's what I've given. Now, let's grow it. Man, that's so good.
Sathiya Sam: Yeah. Yeah. I really, really like that. Um, what was the, maybe to give some context, you know, how, how long had pornography been an issue?
And, and, um, and how were you first exposed?
Matt Galbraith: Yeah, it's, uh, first exposure was 16 years old, so up until that point, really, you know, it was, I think I had seen like, you know, a few Playboy magazines, you know, uh, 16 years old, a neighborhood kid had invited me over to watch some [00:05:00] movies. I wasn't sure what kind of movies they were.
I just went over. And when I got there and he turned on the movies, I immediately realized these weren't the kind of movies that I was used to watching. And so that was my first exposure. I was like, okay, wow. And so I knew it was kind of this double edged thing that I knew at the time what I was watching was wrong, but there was something about it that was drawing me in.
It was something that was like enthralling me towards that. Yeah. And so that kind of led me during the rest of my teenage years, just to pursue like. I guess sophomore, sophomore type stuff. Just, you know, those kinds of things are really hard for until twenties where, uh, that was where the addiction developed even more.
And then at 25 years old, so that was about nine years in, I got married and my wife did not know out about my struggle. I just, I kept [00:06:00] it hidden. Really only my parents knew up until that point. So living, living the Christian, trying to live a Christian life, trying to perform, put all the externals, keep it hidden, keep it secret.
I got married and then I thought, you know, marriage was going to cure my, my addiction because I'm going to be having sex all the time. That was going to be the fix and cure. And so got married, was having sex all the time. And then within the first month I went back to it. I'm like, what is this all about?
It was kind of this light bulb moment of like, Oh, maybe this is not really about sex because I'm having sex all the time. And it was just, it came back and my wife then discovered it. And of course that was really painful, really, uh, just very hurtful for her. And she, she asked me to get help. Uh, and I told her I would, but I didn't.
I just, in my own mind, I was too proud, too much pride, too much self sufficiency. Just like, I can figure this out. I'm a smart [00:07:00] guy, you know, tell me what to do and really just became a professional, I guess, sin manager. Uh, just, and for the next 11 years into our marriage on again, off again. You know, dealing with it, some, some moments of like, you know, sobriety, but not long term, you know, maybe a month or two at a time, you know, and then toward the end of that 11th year, it got really bad.
And, uh, we just had our third child, third daughter. Uh, so my wife was dealing with a young child. I remember it had gotten pretty bad. Like I came home from work one day and, uh, she was, she was at the end of her rope. She was just done dealing with this with me. She had, she had her back, was pretty much ready to leave.
Wow. I was confronted with, and that was a pretty powerful moment of desperation for me. I, I was confronted with losing my marriage, my family, my [00:08:00] kids. Uh, and that's, you know, I, I, it's hard sometimes to talk about that because I wish it was like more of a, like, Oh, wow. The love of God has helped me. But initially it was that fear of losing everything.
Yeah. Place of desperation that going, Hey, I basically pleaded with her, you know, will you give me another chance where you stay, I will reach out to someone. And by God's grace, she chose to stay. And I did reach out to someone. That was kind of the first time where I, after 20 years from 16 to 36, this would have been in 2009.
That's I finally opened up that secret to another trusted friend and just began to. Say, Hey, this is what's going on in my life. And that started me on about a 12 to 15 month, you know, from the beginning of 2009 into 2010, where I really by that time was, [00:09:00] um, it started off with just sobriety. Just like, you know, getting rid of internet, stuff like that for a time.
And then like the renewing of the mind, like getting those images outta my mind. And then really truly, after about 12 months, then walking in, walking in freedom, and walking in victory. So. Wow. That's, uh, that's the long 20 year version of that,
Sathiya Sam: so. Yeah, that's quite a story. I didn't realize that your recovery period was actually relatively quick, considering that, you know, two decades of struggle.
Like, that's, that's pretty good. Especially in 09. Like, I think people who are in recovery today, That timeframe is very realistic. There's just so many more tools available and resources, but, you know, back then, like there was, it was like triple X church and, uh, I don't even know what, I don't think covenant eyes would be even really bad on the, on the scene too much at that point,
Matt Galbraith: right?
It was every, it was every man's battle was like the first was that was like the first. Like group that I went to that was like as far as I knew that was like one of the only few resources that [00:10:00] were That were out there at the time. So Wow, you know, yeah,
Sathiya Sam: that's kind of wild and then talk to me a little bit about How because I think you articulated something that a lot of guys experience, which is that?
We know that we should probably pursue freedom because it's the right thing to do. We want to have a deeper relationship with God. We want to be walking in holiness and righteousness and be an example on the earth. But I think if most of us are being honest about our stories, it is actually the wife threatening to leave.
It's the loss of a relationship. You know, we've had lots of clients over the years who have said, you know, my girlfriend dumped me, like she dumped me over us. I never thought I would reach that point. Um, it's, it's the kind of searing pain that often, you know, wakens a guy up to actually do something about this.
Why do you think that is? And in your own situation as well, why do you think that's the way it played out? Why did it have to reach that point for you to do something?
Matt Galbraith: Yeah, I guess, I guess the, the other consequences weren't enough. I mean, I, [00:11:00] I was already experiencing consequences of, you know, I think I underestimated what those were, but I was experiencing consequences in, in my own personal life.
Uh, in my marriage for sure. But, uh, just being confronted with that was just like this moment of desperation. I think, I think until a guy really gets to a place of desperation and it doesn't always have to be through a loss of a relationship or a marriage, this place of like coming to what I, that kind of phrase is coming to the end of self sufficiency and whatever, whatever that takes, whatever God may use or allow in someone's life to get to that point, I think is a huge.
Factor, if you got to give up on your own resources at some point, your own, everything else just kind of goes and whatever that is, and I use that word desperation and fear because oftentimes we just try to manage everything up until that point. And so something really has to come against that, about trying to, trying to strive, [00:12:00] trying to attain this in my own way.
Which I was trying, I was, I was, I was, I guess I was trying, like I said, out of my own resources, what I do, but I really wasn't submitting to God, uh, doing it His way, which ultimately was what that was, that, that fear led to that, and eventually it was God's grace, uh, His loving kindness is what was the continuing motivation, but that got me started, that got me started, you know.
Sathiya Sam: I've never heard it said that way, but I really agree with it. Like it's the end of self sufficiency where we're actually, you know, reach out to that professional or reach out to a friend, whatever it might be. Who was your trusted friend that you reached out to when your wife was ready to pack her bags and go?
Yeah.
Matt Galbraith: Yeah. It was, it was a church friend, uh, who eventually became a pastor, pastor friend, but, uh, he, he was a church friend, just a guy that I had met at church, we had discipleship training classes together. Uh, he was about the same age [00:13:00] of life that I was, I had gotten to know him for a couple of years and I just took the risk.
I mean, one of the, one of the big things with that because it's so secret is like, you know, you're, you're afraid to tell someone because you don't know if they're just going to. Reject you or run for the Hills or whatever. And so, you know, I had known him for a while and I, I, uh, you know, it was just, it was just a moment of taking that risk of like, okay, I've got to, I've got to let this out and I can remember to this day, Sophia, like that was the first person after 20 years of dealing with this, like sharing that I can remember.
Just kind of this physical release of like some change, just. Being released off of, you know, now somebody else knows how, at least I've let somebody else enter into the story. And he just listened and he just, he didn't offer any advice. He just listened and cared for me in that, in that moment.
Sathiya Sam: Man, that's a good friend.
Yeah, really good. So you have since, uh, you started your own [00:14:00] practice to help guys in this area. Uh, podcast called a cup of freedom and, um, and obviously recently joined our team, which we're really excited about. Talk a little bit about some of your, your core philosophies. Like I know identity is a big one for you.
You mentioned that language around freedom and how much that word freedom means to you. Um, you know, I have to imagine a lot of this has come out of your own observation of your story. And just seeing, you know, what was really impactful for you and being able to impart that to other people. Um, talk, talk to me a little bit about your recovery philosophy and what you've seen to be effective in, you know, the five, six years that you've been coaching guys.
Matt Galbraith: Yeah. Yeah. I think the first thing just as, as I'm meeting with guys is offering acceptance. You know, there's so much rejection around addiction. So many guys have experienced that rejection. So acceptance, meaning, uh, I see you, I care for you. I want to listen. I want to guide you. I want to encourage you of all this, Jerry.
So [00:15:00] acceptance is just so, so huge. You know, that's, that's just a huge thing. I think then the second part of that is giving, giving grace, you know, really not starting off with this, like telling them a bunch of things to do per se, but like giving them grace, telling them about God's grace. Which includes their identity.
I just, I know my own personal story of like really discovering who the real me is in Christ was just such a huge factor for me. So giving them grace initially, and not just throwing a bunch of like advice for, you know, per se at first. And then I think, um, again, telling them who they are in Christ, here's who you are, you may not be experiencing that right.
You may not even believe that to be true, but here's, here's what God says is true. At some point, if they allow me to, to share that, here's who you are, here's what Christ accomplished on the cross, here's how free you are. And now I know you're not experiencing that, but it doesn't change the truth. And so now.[00:16:00]
Just reminding them of that truth over and over again and allowing them to experience that through a coaching session or a counseling session. Uh, and then, and then also just talking about, and I use the word source a lot, uh, Christ being the source of their power and authority to defeat this temptation, this sin.
Like a lot of guys don't even think they have. The power and authority, Christ to even say no, like, like when you don't even believe that which I did for a long time. So that power and authority, the source of that comes from Christ in us. And so when, when scripture talks about the same power that raised Christ from the dead lives in us, like, what does that mean?
That's a powerful, it's a powerful truth. A guy needs to know they can resist by them becoming more powerful for stronger, but by choosing to trust and rest in the power and authority of Christ in them, which is a huge thing. So even [00:17:00] just giving them permission, Hey, you've got, you have the power of Christ living in that can resist.
And then I think just, yeah, again, tell them that they're already free. You know, and what I mean by that is there's a spiritual freedom that I think I often misunderstood. I had to get this freedom by stopping hate. And that true spiritual freedom was more than stopping a behavior or a sin. It was the presence of Christ.
You know, when scripture talks about where the spirit of the Lord is, there's freedom. And the spirit of the Lord lives in us, lives in me. So His presence, Christ's presence, is freedom. That's a core reality of truth. That I didn't know and understand. And so, that's what real freedom is. And then now, how do I live from, how do I, how do I, as Jesus says, drink from the living water.
How do I live from what, what freedom I already have in Him. Versus trying, I spent 20 years trying to go get freedom, trying to, trying to attain [00:18:00] freedom, trying to strive for freedom. And I just, at some point, want to tell guys, You're already free. You may not be experiencing that but in Christ you are already
Sathiya Sam: free.
Yeah, it's so good. It reminds me of Michelangelo Michelangelo creating the Sculpture of David right and when he was asked about it how he said, you know, it was actually pretty simple I just removed everything that wasn't David and yeah Just that whole mentality of like David was always there in that big block of marble He just had to remove the things and that that was actually Part of the inspiration behind the naming of this podcast, Unleash the Man Within, the idea that that man of freedom, you know, that man of character and integrity is already there.
It just needs to be unleashed, if you will, you know, and we need to remove the things that easily entangle so that we can step into that new creation identity and, you know, live out that life of freedom that, that Christ has already afforded us. So I, I love it.
Matt Galbraith: Yeah. I love that concept, this idea of unleashing that it's already there.
It just needs to be experienced. It's, it's [00:19:00] in us. It's just. We need to let that out for sure.
Sathiya Sam: Yeah. Yeah. Well, when you, when you're working with clients, what do you observe? Like what, where do you see guys getting stuck the most in their recovery journey? Cause I, I know for me, when I look at my own journey, I got, there's a couple of points I got stuck, stuck on where I, I look at our clients and I'm like, oh, they don't actually really get stuck in these areas.
Some of them were just, you know, unique to me and my situation, but there's, there's definitely some common commonalities as well that I've observed. How about you? What, what do you. Where do you see guys often getting stuck when they're trying to pursue freedom?
Matt Galbraith: I think initially just, uh, getting stuck and even believing there's hope that they can, they can, you know, live in freedom, just that hopelessness I think is initially like, Oh, that's good for you.
Or that's for other guys. And I sure have experienced this. So that, that hurdle of just, just hopelessness and what I've observed is like, you know, I think a lot of guys think that at [00:20:00] some point they're either going to They're either going to give in. So it's this kind of two choices mentality of like some point.
Yeah, I may learn some tools or some things or whatever. And at some, but at some point I'm just going to give in because that's what's always happened. Or if they've got some sobriety, they're going to spend the rest of their lives thinking about not. Yeah. So when those are the only two choices out there, you're going to spend, but that's, that's not freedom.
That's, you may have some sobriety, but that's not your freedom. And so, so is there another way and Christ is that way, but oftentimes that's where I see the stuckness. If I, if I only think those are my only two options, then that's eventually what's going to happen. But I'm going to get into a state of, of hopelessness.
And, and not really believe that I can't experience freedom. What are some
Sathiya Sam: good ways for people to combat hopelessness?
Matt Galbraith: Yeah. I think talking to somebody that's experienced freedom [00:21:00] is first and foremost would be, Hey, I need, I need to be inspired through someone else's story or testimony is a great way.
And I would say, and I always encourage guys to do in whatever way this looks like in your relationship with God, you know, even if it's just like anger, like just Just God revealed to show me, show me your presence, show me your truth. Just, just that is because it really is a spiritual journey for them.
Yeah. They may not always see that it's a spiritual journey. And so whatever that looks like to talk to God, like God, I have no hope right now, or I don't even see any hope. Just reveal that, show yourself to be true in my life. Speak to me in however, however way you can, and that, that's just, that's what I encourage you guys to do because I can say, Hey, you need to have hope.
I can share them all and I can give all the encouragement in the world, but ultimately they, uh, they're going to need to hear that from God. They're going to need to know that God's in this with him. He's not [00:22:00] working against them. He's actually on their team. It's, it's them and God. And oh yeah, I know that pile of sin over there looks really, really big, but hey, when you're ready, when you're ready, God says this to that, you know, when you're ready, we'll, we'll deal with this together.
You don't have to
Sathiya Sam: do this. Yeah, there is a really nice co laboring that takes place. And I often, I often find myself reminding guys, God is more excited about your freedom than you are. You know, like we're not twisting his arm to, to throw us a bone here. Like he's, he is so excited and every, every little step, even if you take one step forward and it's two steps back, he's still just ecstatic that you took a step forward and you made an effort.
You know what I mean? Like he's, he's our biggest cheerleader in all of
Matt Galbraith: this. It's so true. He wants this more than us. That's, I mean, we, and we want it really bad, but he wants it more than he wants us to experience those. It's so huge. And I, I agree with you too on that part about one, one step forward, two steps [00:23:00] back, because I think what happens, I see too that guys get stuck is that they're taking some steps forward.
But even that one step seems to be so have so much more weight so much more power than those steps forward. So the step forward maybe yeah okay great but then the step back is like, Whoa, and so that those losses if you will. Seem to carry so much more value than the wins. Yeah. And I think that hope can be instilled that, hey, yeah, there may still be some, some of this step back, but it's ultimately about moving forward, moving forward in Christ, and let's be able to celebrate that because I don't think guys know how to celebrate those wins as, as, as much as we should.
I know I didn't. Yeah. And that was a huge step for me in my, in my own journey.
Sathiya Sam: Yeah. Yeah. It's really good. And I think as a guy thing in general, like celebrating small wins is just. I don't know. It's just tough, isn't it? Yeah, it
Matt Galbraith: is. It is. Yeah. I mean, it just is. We don't, I know. Yeah. I mean, and I, I looked in [00:24:00] scripture and like celebrations, a huge thing, like, yeah, like, you know, obviously it's not about, Oh, look what I did, but ultimately like God gives us that.
He wants us to enjoy our relationship with him. And when guys asked me like, what was the key for you, Matt? It was like, just really ultimately enjoying, enjoying my walk with the Lord, like this enjoyment. I think oftentimes we think of our, Yeah. Yeah. Walk with the Lord is like a bunch of to do's or like all these expectations that God has for us and like, Oh yeah.
And of course saying no to addiction and sin, but like this enjoyment factor of like, Like just enjoy me because I really enjoy you and let's walk together at this journey together, which was so huge for me. Oh, that's
Sathiya Sam: amazing. It's amazing. So, okay. I, I know that in, in today's society, like one of the great, I don't know, sort of paradoxes we live with is that we're more connected than ever before through technology and social platforms.
And yet we are also more [00:25:00] lonely and disconnected than ever before because the quality of our connections is so weak. I'm And the research around addiction is, is more and more proving that connection is really what heals addiction better than anything else. And it's also what sustains recovery from addiction better than anything else.
And I'm curious in your own journey, like I'm, I'm just thinking 13 years of freedom, my goodness, like what a huge accomplishment. I have to imagine you've probably got some checks and balances in place that have enabled you to maintain the success for so long. You talked earlier about Yeah. And I think that's a, that's a no brainer.
I think we know like none of this is possible without him. I'm wondering what some of the other pieces are additionally that have helped you to, to stay afloat and to maybe survive harder seasons of life or moments of temptation in the last 13 years.
Matt Galbraith: Yeah. I mean, I, I, yeah, I would say I've got a, I've got a couple of people, not a large amount, a couple of.
Trusted [00:26:00] people who two or three, uh, the chips are down and life is hitting hard that they've become those safe places to go to, to two or three trusted guy friends who are just lifelines have been so supportive that, that know me, that know the good, the bad, the ugly, all of it. Yeah. And choose to listen.
That's just been, that's been the biggest part of that. Uh, just having someone that knows knows because connection really is being known, you know, all of it in, in, in someone staying in that and not reject. So that's the biggest thing. And then, yeah, I mean, staying connected to whether it be church type family, whether it be just encouraging, uh, uh, messages through, through listening, through, uh, you know, preaching or teaching or.
You know, those kind of messages have been also huge and just teaching me and encouraging me to walk in my [00:27:00] freedom in Christ. Uh, those are the two big things that I can think of. I'm not sure if there was anything else there, but yeah, and then, and then also my growing relationship with my wife. Which, you know, has been something where she, by God's grace, chose to stay, you know, that was, that's been a, uh, you know, just a huge lifeline.
And then, you know, while at first, me stepping out and doing this, you know, five plus years ago now, it was a challenge because we didn't know what that would look like. She, uh, eventually was able to, you know, really support me and say, Hey, you know, I'm your biggest fan, I'm your biggest cheerleader, and that's been huge along the way as well.
That's so good.
Sathiya Sam: Do people, I don't know if you get asked this, but I get asked this quite often, especially when I tell people, you know, I haven't watched in seven years. Like they're almost in disbelief. Like they think I'm lying. And then the next question is, well, have you been tempted? You know, that's sort of like, okay, you haven't watched, which is awesome.
But what about lust and temptations and fantasy and all that kind of stuff? And, um, I, I have found [00:28:00] that actually as time has gone on, I am tempted less as well, like the times that I feel the most. Tempted to watch pornography are times of great distress, and it probably happens once, maybe once a year now, like it's very infrequent because it's just been so long.
Uh, but I know that's not everybody's story, and I guess I'm just curious for you, you know, do you still get tempted, Matt? And, um, do you still find that some of the maybe more like choral elements, like, like lust and fantasy, are those at play in your life at all? Or do you feel like you've been able to thwart most of those?
Matt Galbraith: Yeah, I would say the latter there, what you said, most of those, the temptations definitely going down. I think some other fleshly behaviors that I struggle with more, I'll just ain't going to maybe comfort food or things like that or things that are things that I may struggle with different, but the temptation with, with sexual addiction has been just pretty much, I wouldn't say non existent because it's hard in this, in this day and age to have that non existent, [00:29:00] but.
Definitely less of when, when you're not, when you're not exposing yourself to that, where you're not filling your mind with that, you're not, you know, uh, all of that, that it's just, it's, it's not a temptation goes away, but it's just not the same as what, what it once was. So, yeah, it's, I think there's other, there is other things though, that the enemy has knows that, Hey, you know, Matt, this is how you live apart or try to live apart from Christ or, you know, whether that's, uh, just going to those fleshly behaviors of, of.
of food or, or, or, you know, things like that, which, which has been something that, uh, has been, you know, an up and down issue for me. So, but yeah, as far as that of itself, it's, it's so much lessened, uh, over these 13 years, which I praise God.
Sathiya Sam: Yeah, it's fantastic. It's amazing. You mentioned, um, the, the, the food behaviors and stuff and, and for context.
your wife owns a baking business. So, you know, you married into a world of temptation there, man, whether you [00:30:00] like it or not, but
Matt Galbraith: I did want
Sathiya Sam: to ask. So you mentioned how your wife was ready to, you know, ready to call it quits and you asked for one last chance and by the grace of God, she gave it to you. Um, we know that the timeline here of recovery.
So then it sounds like it was about another 12 to 18 months. For you to turn a corner, uh, experience, sobriety, freedom, and now the rest is history. How long did it take before you felt like the marriage had recovered from
Matt Galbraith: everything? Oh yeah. That was the other part that was really challenging. So here I was 12 months, 15 months in and I'm like, wow, experiencing this victory, experiencing this freedom and then realizing, looking over at my wife at some point, realizing She was in a deep depression.
Uh, she was not necessarily celebrating. She was kinda like, that's good for me, but, you know, you basically trampled on my heart for 11 years. Yeah. And that's [00:31:00] very, very, it was impactful for me, uh, in the way that I, you know, addiction's. So self-centered. You just, you're always thinking about me, myself, and I, and all that.
And I didn't really, I underestimated the impact of the hurt that I had done to her. Our marriage. And so that was, was hard. She went through a period of time where she needed to go through her own healing. And so that was 2011 basically. So for me, about 12 to 15 months, her really about a, a year or so where our marriage went through the ringer, I still wasn't sure if it was gonna make it.
Here I am, you know, like experiencing freedom and like, you know, this is great. And yet realizing the reality of the impact of that. And so then after she went through some healing, got some counseling, 2012, we, we went to, but we went to marriage counseling, got some marriage counsel. That was great. And it ended up in the spring of 2012, renewing our renewing our [00:32:00] vows.
So for us, I guess that would be, yeah, that would be about a two and a half year period for, for the whole, I guess the whole renewal to happen, which was in like April of 2012. Wow. Where we renewed our vows. And it was just amazing. After that happened, God just began to just do some, like, just some incredible things, like, like after that, like, like just, we ended up moving to a new, a new church.
Uh, I got to experience going on a mission trip. We did some marriage ministry together. It was just like, wow. It was like, God was just opening up some amazing
Sathiya Sam: doors. So, oh, that's so cool. That's cool. I didn't know that part about your story. That's pretty amazing. Yeah. Yeah.
Matt Galbraith: Yeah. That was, I mean, that we, we, we joined a smaller church and.
And then God just kind of let us, Hey, well, how can we serve couples? How can we use what God had done in our own story to serve marriages, which is such a huge deal. And, uh, and did for about four years, we, we did, we did, we just served, served couples through some, some events that we did, some, some teaching, [00:33:00] some games, just, just being together, uh, with other couples, which is such a huge thing.
You know, and that lasted for about four years. That was a really great experience. Just a chance for us to use what God had done in our own story to minister to others.
Sathiya Sam: What was the most impactful about marriage counseling for you guys?
Matt Galbraith: For me, it was just, again, I think it was seeing what I had done to my wives.
You know, we, we had gone through the counseling. I remember our counselor having us. I think it's always, it's always easier to, to, to say what the other person has done to hurt, hurt us. Right. Yeah. Like, I think we can, we can make that list pretty easy, but our counselor had us make, make our own list. It was a forgiveness list.
Here's, here's all the offenses that I have, you know, and it wasn't in a condemning way. It wasn't in a, Oh, look at how bad you are, but it was in a, Hey, we're going to have this forgiveness ceremony. I remember this to this day. It [00:34:00] was just we, we read off our list and we each said, I forgive you. And we, and we meant it and we, we ripped up those lists and we, we had made a, we had made a vow at that point.
We're never going to bring those things up again. And it was just, it was just like this. Wow. Like, I mean, just tears, just healing, just. And then after that, we had our renewal, our, our Valor ceremony. Uh, you know, so it was just, that was just such a huge thing. A part of the counseling that was, you know, this is what I had done to purge my wife's and I, I needed to, to ask her to forgive me those things.
Oh
Sathiya Sam: my gosh, that is fantastic. Yeah. That's, that's a really profound, when you, when you decided that you were going to help men quit porn, you were leaving behind a. Really successful career, you know, working in the inner city of San Antonio, uh, you're a school teacher [00:35:00] and I think, you know, I'm sure six, seven years now later, you can look back and be very grateful you made that decision and see what God has done.
You know, you've changed so many lives and my goodness, you're just, you're changing hundreds of lives in deep clean already. Um, or maybe, maybe dozens, maybe we want to exaggerate it dozens right now, but, uh, but soon to be hundreds, you know, you're just, you're early on here with us, but. Um, I have to imagine that was a pretty big decision.
Like I, I know for me, when I look back at helping guys, our timelines are actually very similar, you know, end of 2018, early 2019 for me. And I, I was, you know, I'm so glad I did. I just can't imagine my life any different now. And I feel like I'm thriving more than ever before. But at the time it was like, I don't know what I'm doing.
I told a bunch of my friends, you know, I feel like God's calling me to do some business stuff. And they're all like, okay, cool, man. You know, but kind of. You're kind of getting like the, when it crashes and burns, like, you know, you can call me back. I'll be here for you kind of thing. Um, and I, you know, Shalom and I were newly married and I, I think that was probably an [00:36:00] advantage of not having kids and additional responsibilities, but man, you went for it.
I mean, you had three daughters, you were married for several years at that point, uh, relatively established. What was it like going through that? Such a big transition and just an overhaul of your life at. I guess, I don't know if it was like a midlife crisis. I don't know if you would phrase it that way, but, um, you know, what, what was, how did you kind of come about that transition?
Matt Galbraith: Yeah, it was, well, yeah, uh, I would definitely call it a midlife crisis.
Sathiya Sam: Okay. Yeah. I kind of
Matt Galbraith: figured. Yeah. Yeah. I had, I was in my mid forties, had been teaching for 20 years and, you know, teaching is a very rewarding profession. It's very challenging, but very rewarding. But I, over those last three years of that, I really kind of sensing the stirring of out of.
Like what's next? Is this going to be another 10, 15, 20 years of this? And so really sensing that I had kind of maxed out by my growth and potential within, within what I was doing, my impact, it's kind of, Kind of, [00:37:00] but I really didn't do anything about it. And so then in that year 20, uh, in the summer of that year, this was, this would have been July of 2017.
I had a, I had a pretty major car accident that, uh, was a significant kind of turning point moment. I, uh, had been trapped in my car and was, you know, it was okay from the accident, but really. It was kind of a metaphor for my life at the time here. I am trapped in my vehicle, but then I was, I felt trapped kind of in my life.
Like this was just going to be my next 5 to 15 years and really just kind of feeling some, some overwhelmed us and things like that. So that was, that was one thing. And then, and not really knowing what the full impact of that car accident was that over the next few months, just trying to kind of Man up realizing that I was probably with teaching, but then still having to do that.
I experienced some things I hadn't really experienced before from a, from a, uh, [00:38:00] just again, the emotional impact of that car accident. Well, I didn't really know at the time had impacted me from just having anxiety, different things like that. So coming to terms with it, I decided to, to take some time off and evaluate at the end of that little period there.
Um, I just really began to. God began to allow, I gave myself permission and God gave me permission to begin to ask questions like, is there something else or is there something else that I can be doing? That was a huge hurdle for me. Cause when you do something for so long, you don't even know if there is something else to do.
So, so it's like, you know, you don't even give yourself permission to that. So it was, it was almost like that word freedom again, came in, like giving myself freedom to. Even pursue that. What would that look like? And so in the, in December of, of 2017, I made the choice to, uh, to, to, to leave teaching, it was a very, very difficult, hard decision, not easy at all, because I [00:39:00] did not have everything all planned and put together yet.
I didn't even know what that was going to look like. Uh, that didn't even happen till another year later. So it was huge. I did not have people in my life necessarily. Every pretty much almost everyone was saying, Matt. Uh, You know, do you know what you're doing here? I understand. I get that. Uh, you know, there were probably some ways of handling that, but looking back, I probably would have done differently, but you know, God's redeemed all that as well and healed all that.
So there were some decisions I would have made differently, but, but just realizing that giving myself a possibility, there could be something else. And so, so that journey began in 2018. Just, uh, I was like, Hey, what would this look like? God, for me to begin to use my story with. With addiction and with, with, uh, you know, to, to impact guys in a one on one way, small group way.
So what I did, I just started talking to other people that were doing it, uh, just talking to some ministry people here [00:40:00] in San Antonio. My dad had his own counseling ministry at the time. I worked for him for a little bit, was doing some things with him, just surrounding myself with people that were doing what I wanted to do, I thought was the best way to do it at first.
So that's what I did. I just, I was asking questions. I was learning, I was talking, and that was really for about seven months. And then August of 2018 was like, Hey, I'm ready to go for this. Went through a coaching counseling type certification process for about three or four months. And, and then December of 2018, saw my first clients.
That was when first client and as they say, the rest is history. So
Sathiya Sam: that's really cool. What, what was it like from a family standpoint, you know, like being responsible for three girls, uh, your wife, um, you know, how did you, how do you handle that pressure as a man? Cause I think that like what you're describing is.
What a lot of people want to do. A lot of people want to sock it to their [00:41:00] boss. They want to quit their job. They want to start that thing, you know, that admittedly, like, you know, there's also responsibilities attached to that. And when you are a husband, you're a father, you know, you have to kind of count the costs here a little bit and weigh things out.
And sometimes it just doesn't make sense to, to make that move. Um, well, how did you handle that part of it? And, you know, was your wife supportive along the way? And what did that all look
Matt Galbraith: like? Yeah, it was really, really hard at first at the, I mean, my wife was just, you know, women, women, one of the biggest needs for women is security.
And so that I was here, I was rocking the boat. She knew I wasn't doing well from that standpoint, but I was starting to rock the boat from the standpoint of like, Oh, wow, where's the, where's the income going to come from? Where's this, you know, and we, we had some, we had some cushion with. With, with savings and things like that.
But, but initially it was a lot of questions, like, what is this going to look like the security thing? So she, I can't say in the beginning, she was [00:42:00] like, just, okay, go for it. And that was hard. That was just the reality of that. So, uh, you know, so I, I guess I would say that, that there, there were some lessons that I've learned along the way.
I think I would have done it differently. I would have, I would have. My, my process for that was a little quicker than, than maybe I, I think I had shared about how for three years I was struggling, but not really doing anything about it. And I would encourage guys that if that's a place you're in, I would say, um, do something about it, necessarily leaving a job or just like going cold Turkey, kind of the way I did with not really having the full plan of place per se, because God did provide, took care of us.
But I wish I would have, you know, made better preparations as far as, Hey, let me, let me start investigating this a little bit more while I'm still teaching versus kind of waiting for, waiting for this, uh, these circumstantial things to kind of [00:43:00] hit if I will. So, but God's, like I said, God's redeemed all of that.
I think I was, it was. The leadership part of it for me was taking my family to along and saying, Hey, God is leading me this way. Will you trust me that I'm trusting the Lord that he is guiding me along the way? And that was where leadership came in, even though they didn't understand it all. And then, okay, what's going on with dad?
What's going on with my husband? It was that it was that leadership of them ultimately trusting me that I was trusting. Along the journey. And we all have grown. So just seeing God's provision, seeing his leadership in our lives. It's just been amazing. It was amazing for us. Yeah,
Sathiya Sam: that's amazing. It is amazing.
It's a great demonstration too, of, you know, what happens when you do take some risk, like one of my mentors said, faith is spelled R I S K, you know, and this is just part of doing life with God is, you know, you can look back in hindsight and say, man, I probably should have. plan that out a bit [00:44:00] better or done things incrementally.
And at the same time, sometimes life with Jesus just looks like this, you know, you jump off a cliff and all of a sudden you realize there's more cliff, but you would have never known unless you had jumped first. And I think that's really cool. I wanted to ask you, um, you know, um, I have to imagine that Your life looks so different.
Like you just talked about how taking those risks, like was really exemplary for your family. It's cool. I think even for your daughters to see like, wow, this is what it looks like when a man kind of puts his family on his shoulders, take some risk and look at how God provides, you know, like what an incredible.
Testimony that you've kind of built for your family. I just think that's really, really cool, but I'm curious, what are some of the other changes you've noticed in your life from quitting pornography? For so many years now, is there anything in particular where you think, man, if I hadn't quit pornography, I wouldn't have this in my life, or I wouldn't have developed this skill, or I don't know, just anything in general where you look at your life and you think, man, because I quit porn, this, this has notably improved [00:45:00] or changed in
Matt Galbraith: my life as a result.
Uh, the first thing that comes to mind, it's just quality of relationships across the board. And what I mean by that is with living in a, living in addiction, you just keep everyone at arm's length for some reason. Yeah, you just, it's like nobody can nobody, you know, there was this like two versions of myself that I have, this was the outer map that you see, but you don't really know what's going on at me.
So just, just the quality of friendship. Yeah. And quality of, of. Relationship with, with everybody, just allowing people to actually know the real me, uh, and all the struggles has been probably the greatest benefit that I've seen outside of my quality of relationship and experience with Christ. That's been, that's been the biggest benefit because I, I never really let people in.
I never really let people, and I'm a relational guy. I'm a, I'm a communicator by nature. God's gifted me in some things where I. I, I'm a teacher, I'm a, I'm a [00:46:00] coach, I'm a communicator. So I have that ability, but there's a lot of people that have that ability that don't really let people know that, but that was me like just, you know, knowing all the, all the internal stuff.
And so I think that's been one of the biggest benefits of just allowing people to know what's going on inside,
Sathiya Sam: inside. Yeah, that's good, man. It's really good. And that is like the leading indicator of someone's quality of life, right? And so there's something to be said about that when you have better relationships.
Um, I feel like everything else, but at least everything else that really matters in life improves, you know, that sense of contentment and peace and feeling confident in yourself. It all stems from that ability to have healthy relationships. So it's really, really cool. A couple, a couple final questions here as we close.
So you've joined the Deep Clean team and, you know, I've very graciously, um, maybe I could say deprioritized. Freedom for you and some of the things that you're doing it's still running and active and rightfully so, you know You've done a great [00:47:00] job building those things up, but you chose to be part of a team here You chose to kind of participate in what God's been doing here.
Why what what made you leave a good thing to join us over here?
Matt Galbraith: Well, yeah, I mean it's just kind of so interesting how that all happened. I you know, I I, um, in the beginning of this last summer, I was sensing that God was, was preparing me for something next, but I wasn't quite sure what that was. That was probably a June of 2023 and freedom for you had been, you know, five years running and things were going, you know, pretty well, but I was sensing that there was something next and I wasn't quite sure what that was.
And so through that summer was kind of praying through some things and thinking, okay, well kind of creating some stuff and like, okay. And then, and then September, like all that kind of. One of, one of the other coaches, uh, with, with deep clean, who I had, uh, had, uh, had gotten to know a few years earlier, had reached out and said, Hey, Matt, [00:48:00] I'm part of the deep clean team.
Now I had actually interviewed Sean on my podcast back in 2020. And so I had kind of lost touch with them, but. He, he reached out, uh, and said, Hey, what, is this something you would even consider? And I, I was just like, okay, God, this is, this is maybe this is what you've been preparing for. So I was, first of all, I was humbled and honored that just to be thought of and to, and for, for, for, for him to reach out at way, I was just like, wow, I just did.
I just thought at the moment, this is not by accident. This is my circumstance. This is, there's something to this. God's you've been pairing me for this. Yeah. For five plus years. And so it just felt like this is what I love to do already, which is one on one at small groups. Yep. And some of the other things that go along with, you know, more of the business side of it, just, we're not, we're out of my comfort zone.
And so it just, as I [00:49:00] began to pray about it, talk with my wife about it, think about how I'd opened that door. It just seemed like a perfect fit for what God had already done in my life. Yeah. And I was going to be able to focus on the sweet spot, which for me is, is one on one in small groups. And that's what, that's what you guys were wanting to bring me in to do.
And I was like, Hey, I can do that. So, uh, so that's the why that's, um,
Sathiya Sam: yeah, really cool, man. Yeah. I mean, you fit like a hand in glove here. It's been, uh, it's been awesome having you and exciting for me to see. Um, you know, what God is, is doing kind of bringing some different, different coaches with different backgrounds, but a similar heart, similar philosophies and a really high enthusiasm to see guys get set free.
What are you, uh, what, what's been exciting you the most about the clients? Cause I think like when I talked to other coaches, I was actually, I was talking to, I don't think I told this, I mentioned this to you, but I was talking to Drew, Drew Boa, who, you know, founder of husband material. [00:50:00] And I was saying, yeah, you know, we hired this awesome new coach.
His name's Matt Galbraith. And, um, he's like, is that the, is that the coffee freedom guy? But wow, I was like, I was like, yeah, yeah, that's him. That's him. So there you go. Your, your brain has preceded you, man. Well, there you
Matt Galbraith: go. That's cool.
Sathiya Sam: Yeah. But I, I think, um, you know, as I talked to more coaches, like the one thing I have no problem bragging to my coaches about is our client base.
Cause I really think we have the best clients in the world. Like they're just. They're the most amazing guys, really high integrity, really serious about, you know, living right before God and their wives and whoever else. And, um, I just always get excited when I hear the stories of guys who are coming through, you know, because they're such high caliber people.
And I just think, man, once God does this thing through the system and the coaching and everything, like these guys are going to set the world on fire. Um, and I know you've been, you've been seeing some pretty cool things already, um, starting out, but I'm just curious, Um, is there anything in particular that's caught your attention or anything you've been really excited about, um, since, you know, starting to coach some of our guys?[00:51:00]
Matt Galbraith: Yeah, it's been just great getting to know these guys. I mean, just, just the, just the wanting to experience this freedom, just the desire, the like, realizing that this is, this is what they want in their lives and this is what, what God wants for them. It's been so huge, just getting to know them, being able to listen to.
To their, to their stories and just, it's not that this is new, I guess I'm just continuing to be humbled by their willingness to, even after only meeting them once or twice, just their willingness to share some really deep stuff. Yeah. Like, like after just only a couple of meetings, like just, okay, here, you know, I, I trust you to, to divulge this, to share this, that's been just, that continues to be a humbling thing for me that, that I can be a listening ear, be an empathetic.
Accepting, caring, uh, voice or, or, you know, listener in that is just something that I continue to be humbled by and just, [00:52:00] just say, guys, keep, keep doing that because that's, that's so powerful. And just experiencing healing as being willing to talk about those, those really hard and difficult things. You know, uh, in our lives.
I wouldn't say I necessarily knew, but that's just, it's just been, so it's just been rev raised up and revved up to the honest degree with guys being willing to do that.
Sathiya Sam: Oh, man. That's really cool. Amazing. Well, hey, you're, you're doing a fantastic job. Uh, I'm, I'm super excited to have you on the team here.
And if you're listening to Matt, you say, man, I like this guy. I resonate with him. Um, you can, you can specifically request to work with him if you decide to participate in our program. Um, and we can make sure we set that up for you as long as he's got capacity in his calendar. Uh, but man, you're just such a, such a blessing to the team so far.
We've loved having you here. I'm excited to visit you one of these days, man, I'll come down to San Antonio. I want to eat some of your wife's baked goods. Sounds like incredible. And maybe we'll go watch Wemby play, uh, in the Spurs or something like that. It'd be a lot of fun. But thanks for all [00:53:00] you're doing for people who want to find out more about what you're up to, Matt, what's the best way for them to do that?
Matt Galbraith: Yeah. Well, I guess the best way would be to connect through our podcast, which is a a cup of freedom where we're on all the, the major, uh, platforms. Uh, and then also we, we have a Facebook page, Instagram page. The Facebook page is freedom for you. The number four dash you. Uh, so that's, that's the best way right now to connect with us.
But the podcast is really the best way. I've also written a couple of books, so those are available all on Amazon as well. Just, uh, there. So that's, that's the greatest way. Yeah.
Sathiya Sam: Okay. You got it, man. Yeah. We'll put, we'll put links to all that in the show notes. Um, in the meantime, thanks for your time today, Matt.
This is awesome. Thank
Matt Galbraith: you so much, Sophia. I really enjoyed it.
Sathiya Sam: All right. Well, there you have it. I love Matt. I love his heart and what a story. There were some things in that story that I actually had no clue about. So that was kind of cool. Um, if you, if you listen to Matt's story and you really [00:54:00] resonate with him and you feel a connection and this sounds like maybe the kind of guy that you would want.
to lead you through a recovery process. There is a link in the show notes to book a call with our team. We put this at the end of every interview, but I, I meant what I said in the interview, which is that if you specifically want to work with Matt, um, I will allow it for, for listeners of this podcast to request it and we'll do our best to honor it as long as he has capacity.
His calendar has been filling up quite a bit since he started. Uh, but we'll do our best to honor it because, um, you know, the research is pretty clear that. Your trust in, in the practitioner is one of, if not the leading indicators of your success. And so we'd want you to be set up for success. And if you feel a connection with Matt, then I would jump all aboard while you still got an opportunity to do so.
So the link is in the show notes in the meantime. Um, you know, I, I just want you guys to know I'm cheering you on. I'm really praying that these episodes inspire you to walk in greater levels of freedom. And if you got some value from this today [00:55:00] and you think that there might be somebody else in your life who needs to hear this, maybe you, maybe you have a friend, you know, maybe it's not you, but you have a friend in your life whose wife is ready to leave or the marriage is struggling because of pornography.
Uh, infuse them with the hope of Matt's story and Matt's message. You just don't know how it could change someone's life. So, uh, please share this as you free, uh, as you feel free. Free, uh, as you feel led to do so as you're free to do so. That was a difficult sentence. Um, without further ado though, guys, have an amazing day.
Thanks again for listening. Hey everybody. It's the Thea again. Thanks for listening to unleash the man within. I wanted to take a quick moment to let you know about a free ebook that I wrote for you called the ultimate guide to porn recovery. It provides a basic framework for the recovery process and a few of my top tips, completely free of charge.
You can get it now at www dot ultimate recovery guide. com. That's www dot ultimate recovery guide. com. Now, if you've been impacted by the podcast and you want to show some [00:56:00] support in less than 60 seconds, there are three ways you can do that. First, you can leave a rating or review on your podcast platform.
This lets people like, you know, that the content here is valuable. Secondly, you can share this episode with someone in your life that might benefit from the content. If you're passionate about helping other people experience freedom and success in their lives, this is one of the easiest ways to do that.
And lastly, you can subscribe. I personally only listen to the podcast that I subscribe to. If you're seeking daily encouragement, guidance, and insight in your recovery journey. I highly recommend subscribing to Unleash the Man Within. Thanks for listening. I look forward to connecting with you very, very soon.
Matt Galbraith: The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this podcast by Satya Sam and his guests are for general information only, and should not be considered medical, clinical, or any other form of professional advice. Any reliance on the information provided is done at your own risk.
