Speaker 1 (00:00:01) - So here's the million dollar question. How are men like us who work hard, have good motives and a God given purpose supposed to fulfill the calling on our lives and the dreams in our hearts, all while establishing sexual integrity, thriving relationships, and a meaningful connection with God. That is the question and this podcast will give you the answers. My name is Sam. Welcome to Unleash the Man Within. Yo, yo, what is up, my man? It's Sam here. Welcome to Unleash the Man Within. Thank you so much for listening. Wow, we got a really good episode for you today. We're talking about soul ties. Do do do. And if you hear that and you go, Sathiya, what the heck are soul ties? Don't worry. We're going to get into all of it. And, um. Man, I, I don't want to overstate this, but this is a vitally important concept in sexual recovery. And it's almost embarrassing how few people talk about this. So you're going to want to tune in.
Speaker 1 (00:01:04) - You're gonna want to make sure you understand soul ties, um, and that you can maybe take a look and see how they could play into your own recovery journey. Now, before I do that, I do want to mention I have a free resource section on my website dedicated to providing you guys valuable content, valuable segments, and pieces that are completely free of charge. We have trainings on there books, booklets, PDF one pagers like just a little bit of everything designed to help you guys, you know better tackle some facet of recovery. I know you're going to love it. And if you haven't been over there already, Sathiya sam.com/resources is the place to check that out. And if you want some more, um, you know, stuff about soul ties after we get into today's content, my book, The Last Relapse actually goes into How to Break Soul Ties. Um, and, uh, and that could be really helpful for you. And that's, that's in the free resource section. Okay. Let's jump into, um, soul ties, soul ties one on one.
Speaker 1 (00:02:02) - So here's the basic the basic framework of soul ties. We know that that humans are not just physical beings, right? We're not just physical and we are definitely spiritual. But then we have this language called the soul, which is somewhere in between. It is, you know, it's ethereal and invisible and intangible, but it also feels like our soul is kind of this, this part of us that is a little bit more accessible. It's a little bit more, you know, into our conscience and and everything else. So Soul ties 101. What I want to do today is I want to introduce the concept, and then I want to talk about how this plays into recovery. This I'm telling you this soul ties keep people bonded and stuck in recovery way longer than they need to be. So here's the basic idea. I'll never forget this. I was 19 years old. I was in university. I had befriended a gentleman who was 26, 25, 26. He was, you know, eons ahead of me at that time.
Speaker 1 (00:03:04) - That's the way it felt, um, in life. And he went through a divorce or was going through a divorce, and he and I had become really good friends. You know, we just we got along well, and we talked about sports and we talked about life and we talked about God. He had kind of grew up, grown up spiritually, but, uh, Christian rather, and then had sort of fallen away. And I was really finding my relationship with God in that season. And he was really supportive, you know, he was just a very balanced and well-rounded guy, um, an amazing friend. And we still keep in touch occasionally, uh, from time to time, even to this day. But I'll never forget he started seeing somebody, you know, while his divorce was not yet finalized, but, you know, pretty close. And I remember one day he was talking about how, you know, sex complicates everything and blah, blah, blah, and, um, and I was kind of confused at first because he sort of brought it up out of left field, and then all of a sudden the dots connected.
Speaker 1 (00:03:57) - I was actually, as I went away from the conversation, I'm like, oh, that's why he brought that up, because he started sleeping with this girl and, you know, he was he was kind of processing without saying what he had done because I think he felt a little bit, um, guilty about it. Why would somebody say sex complicates things if sex is purely physical, right? We know that sex is much more than something physical. It's something spiritual. And there's there's sort of this metaphysical soul part of it that I believe plays into this as well. I, I am of the, you know, the doctrine that we are body, soul and spirit. Um, the same way that, you know, the Trinity is kind of body, soul and spirit body being Jesus, soul being the father and spirit being the Holy Spirit. Um, that, that that's not that's not I would not die on that hill. I don't have a 100% conviction on it, but I found it to be the most valuable framework to understand how we are comprised, because we're made in the image of God.
Speaker 1 (00:04:55) - And God is three and one. And so it makes sense that we are also body, soul, and spirit. You know, three different elements all in one being. But I'll save the doctrine for another day. Okay? The point is, when you have sexual interactions, you form a bond. Physically that's obvious. You form a bond spiritually also obvious. But there's also a bond that takes place at a soul level. Okay. And that's because sex was designed this way. The idea was that you are in a committed covenant relationship where you are ready to spiritually bond at the utmost level, and that is sex. Sex is the most spiritual bonding experience that you can experience with another human being. Um, and the reality is, when you engage in sexual activity with another person, you form a connection that is deeper than something physical. But it's also not necessarily just a spiritual thing. Um, there is a soul element. Your souls are connecting and they are integrating. And what happens when you know, you're like me and you were sexually active with someone that you don't end up marrying is those parts of you still have an integration? They don't.
Speaker 1 (00:06:05) - They don't disintegrate because you no longer spend time together because the sexual activity already took place. And that was the basis of the formation of the soul ties. Okay. And what needs to happen for you to truly move on from relationships where you've been sexually active is you must break the soul ties. Now, there are absolutely ludicrous stories of what happens when the soul ties break. I'll give you an example. My. This is one of my old mentors and a pastor that I served under for several years, and he was learning about soul ties. You know, nobody taught him this in seminary, and he was learning about soul ties, and he was actually dealing with a particular member of the congregation who, you know, clearly had had some, some sexual baggage. And he thought, you know what this is, this is a great opportunity for me to practice and, you know, to see if if this stuff works and if this stuff is real. And so he, um, she comes into his office at the normal scheduled time and he says, hey, um, I think we need to break some soul ties because, you know, you have this ex-husband who's been, um, basically demonizing you even though you haven't seen him in, you know, it was like ten years, something like that.
Speaker 1 (00:07:14) - It had been a long time. It was from an old marriage, and she was ready to move on. But she couldn't because, you know, whatever, whatever. So they pray through these prayers. They're breaking the soul ties. And as they finish praying. The ex-husband knocks on the office door, literally shows up to the office as they break soul ties. So there's a heavy spiritual component that happens here. It's very hard to articulate and to explain, but this is like almost the norm. Like when when we walk people through breaking soul ties, we pretty much warn them, hey, if you're going to do this and we don't actually force our clients to do this, if they're not comfortable or they want to understand it better. Um, but if they're ready to do it, we just warn them, hey, whoever we're breaking the soul ties with, just know that it's possible. There's there's some backlash, it stirs some things up, and they actually come back and try to reconnect. Um, and I mean, tons of stories, text messages, phone calls, uh, randomly running into them the next day, you know, in public, in a public place.
Speaker 1 (00:08:13) - These things happen all the time. It's almost eerie. But there's something that happens in this spirit. And, and the other person can feel that shift, and it makes them think of the person. And then sometimes, you know, if they miss the bond, they miss the, the attachment. And so they reach out. So the soul tie thing is real. Uh, I know it's probably sounds a little bit kooky to some of you guys, but it's just for me, like, again, I'm a very left brain logical person. It sounds kooky to me too. I've just seen too much of it now to be able to deny it. Um, here's where this is relevant, okay? Whether you've been sexually active with another person, if you struggle with porn, you have formed soul ties with many, many, many, many people. And part of my recovery journey, this was in the latter stages of recovery when I was kind of near the finish line was actually listing all of the actresses that I remember watching, and some of them, I mean, there are certain actresses that I just looked up like like clockwork.
Speaker 1 (00:09:07) - Like it was like, um, unconscious operation, you know, like it's like, okay, I made my decision to watch porn. I go to the site, I type in their names, I click on this video, like, there was like that kind of go to stuff and go to actresses. Those are easy to name. But as I started going down the list, more people would come to mind. And so I would list them and I was I literally went through a process of breaking soul ties with all of the people that I had felt like I made any kind of connection with on a sexual level. And that is the nature of pornography. Pornography is bonding, whether we realize it or not. And yet you are treating these people like objects. Yes, they're pixels and not people. And yet our our physiology and our our, um, our soul are perceiving this still as something that is viable, that that is legitimate in, in our connection level, connection basis. And that's why we need to break soul ties.
Speaker 1 (00:10:01) - Now, if, if maybe this is, you know, a little bit of a stretch, you're saying, hey, Sathiya, I hear, I hear you, man, and I'm sure it's worked and whatever, but I'm not so sure if this is for me. Uh, what I encourage you to do is to actually get your hands on my book, The Last Relapse. We talk about it in a lot more depth. And. And then if you go through the workbook, which is free, by the way, if you go through the accompanying workbook, we actually talk you through or I think maybe there's a worksheet. It's been a while now, guys, forgive me since I wrote that book, but there's there's a component there that you can get for free that'll actually help you go through the process. Um, so that you can, you know, you can do this effectively if, if this is something that you feel like needs to be part of your recovery. Now, here's just the last thing I'll say, okay.
Speaker 1 (00:10:43) - If you if you feel like you have done everything under the sun and it's like Sathiya, I, I can't think of anything else I can do. But maybe you haven't broken soul ties. Um, and you're hearing this concept and you're saying that sounds weird. I'll just say this. You have nothing to lose at this point and everything to gain. And that thing that you gain could be that next piece of breakthrough that you need in your recovery. So the link is in the show notes for the book The Last Relapse or sorry, it's the the link is in the show notes for the free resource section. And in the Free Resource section is my book. Or you can just go to the last relapse ABC.com however you want to do it. Either way, I highly recommend it. And guys, break those soul ties. You just don't know what kind of crazy breakthrough might come from it. So that's everything for today. God bless you guys. Thanks so much for listening. We'll talk soon. Bye bye.
Speaker 1 (00:11:36) - Hey, everybody, it's Ththere again. Thanks for listening to Unleash the Man Within. I wanted to take a quick moment to let you know about a free e-book that I wrote for you, called The Ultimate Guide to Porn Recovery. It provides a basic framework for the recovery process and a few of my top tips completely free of charge. You can get it now at Wal-Mart Recovery guide.com. That's Waltman recovery guide. Com. Now, if you've been impacted by the podcast and you want to show some support in less than 60s, there are three ways you can do that. First, you can leave a rating or review on your podcast platform. This lets people like you know that the content here is valuable. Secondly, you can share this episode with someone in your life that might benefit from the content. If you're passionate about helping other people experience freedom and success in their lives, this is one of the easiest ways to do that. And lastly, you can subscribe. I personally only listen to the podcast that I subscribe to.
Speaker 1 (00:12:35) - If you're seeking daily encouragement, guidance and insight in your recovery journey, I highly recommend subscribing to Unleash the Man Within. Thanks for listening. I look forward to connecting with you very, very soon.
Speaker 2 (00:12:47) - The information, opinions and recommendations presented in this podcast by Sathiya Sam and his guests are for general information only and should not be considered medical, clinical or any other form of professional advice. Any reliance on the information provided is done at your own risk.