Speaker 1** ((00:00:01)) - - So here's the million dollar question. How are men like us who work hard, have good motives and a God given purpose supposed to fulfill the calling on our lives and the dreams in our hearts, all while establishing sexual integrity, thriving relationships, and a meaningful connection with God? That is the question, and this podcast will give you the answers. My name is Sathiya Sam. Welcome to Unleash the Man Within. Yo, yo, what is up, my man? Is Sam here? Welcome to Unleash the Man Within. Thank you so much for listening. So glad you're here today. I am going to share with you in today's episode, um, one of the one of the concepts that I get the most feedback on, um, between our clients, you know, readers of my book and listeners of this podcast. And I wanted to do a little bit more of a focused piece on this because I'm just realizing how much men need to know their season and how many men don't because nobody's taught them this.
Speaker 1** ((00:01:06)) - - So, um, so we're going to go after that today. Now, speaking of my book, uh, my book is called The Last Relapse. And if you don't have it, it is a blueprint from A to Z of how to make a complete recovery. Lots of case studies, lots of research, tons of Scripture went into the formation of this book, and I spent over ten grand just being transparent to get this book done really, really well. But I give it away completely free of charge at the last relapse bbc.com you can get a PDF copy. You might be wondering what's the catch? Well, the catch is that it's digital. Okay. If you want a physical copy that will cost you money, but all the money that we make from the purchases of those books go to funding the the the what? I've completely lost my word. They're funding the extension of the gospel in Muslim villages in Uganda, and that is through a charity that is run by a friend that I personally know.
Speaker 1** ((00:02:00)) - - So we're not just aimlessly throwing that money away just so that you guys know, in case you do want to support the cause. Okay, so the last relapse Bbc.com, you can get your copy, you can get a legitimate like a bona fide, proven blueprint to make a recovery and be on your merry way. Okay, let's get into the value of knowing your season. Man. Oh, man, this is such an important subject. Um, I'm going to backtrack a little bit and provide some context before I actually get into the concept. In today's day and age, where we are so programmed by media between some of the forms that have existed a long time, like the newspaper and television and radio, but now podcasts, you know, you're listening to a podcast, social media, of course, being a highly emerging media form and, you know, basically anything that involves our phone, we we have become very generalized and cookie cutter in our approach to life. And so somebody decides they want to be a businessman and they see somebody online doing business a certain way and they say, well, I need to be like that person and it needs to look like x, y, z.
Speaker 1** ((00:03:19)) - - Somebody decides they want to get a six pack, and so they see some fitness influencers online. They hear a podcast and they say, oh, well, you know, so-and-so did xyz, I'm going to go do XYZ, and that should work for me as well. Let's broaden it. You know, you go to church and you have some friends and you see man. So and so they drive a BMW and they always seem happy. The wife is beautiful. The kids are well behaved, you know. What's the deal? I should be more like them. Um, I, I sometimes can be, um, on the other side of that. I've had a lot of friends over the years who have who are like, man, I just feel like I need to be more like you. And I'm always like, no, you need to be more like you, you know? Um, but all of this is to say, guys, is the reason that knowing your season is so important is because if you look to the left or the right, and you start to let what you see dictate your priorities and your goals, you might be successful.
Speaker 1** ((00:04:17)) - - But even if you were successful in accomplishing those goals, you will live an empty, shallow life. If you are unsuccessful, what is likely is that you found the right thing at the wrong time. See, it's not good enough to just find the right thing. It also has to be in the right time. And it cannot just be the right time. It has to be the right thing. So there's a wisdom and a discernment that's required for you and I to be effective in our lives, you know, in all facets of life. And I believe that what what sets the tone and what gets us on the right path to begin with, whether we're talking about fitness, finances, family or recovery, is knowing your season. This. This I think is, is honestly, I truly believe it is a fundamental concept. Now, I'll give you a great example of a time where Sathya did not know his season, and because he didn't know his season, he was unsuccessful. Um, I, I had just wrapped up a season of my life where I was a recording artist.
Speaker 1** ((00:05:29)) - - I was traveling to speak, and I was also on staff at a local church, and I moved cities to be closer to my wife. I took a pay cut at a new church and not just a pay cut, but I also took a a role cut, you know, reduced responsibilities. And, um, I remember kind of I had this sense that I still needed to do something. And, you know, when I say I was a recording artist, I was doing worship music, and I felt like I still needed to do something, um, and, and what I, what I would say in hindsight is I was trying to stoke the fires of a previous season, you know, I was trying to keep the fire going. And so I remember I, I, I kind of hit all my email lists. I asked my dad to send out to us. He emails that I was going to do a worship workshop. We were going to do it at my parents place so I didn't have to pay for a venue.
Speaker 1** ((00:06:20)) - - Uh, you know, we there were only eight spots available, and I ordered, like one of those giant, like, you know, like eight foot long subs. Um, and, uh, and then I was going to just teach. I was going to teach on worship. We were going to do some exercises. And I still remember my parents AC wasn't working that day. And so it was, you know, like a hot June July kind of kind of day. I forget the exact time of the year. And, you know, there's eight of us in there and we're just baking. And my wife, this was when my wife was bedridden. And so she drove down with me. But she was in she was in one of the rooms and she was kind of just listening, one of the bedrooms listening. And my parents were gone for the day and whatever. Um, and I remember seeing the looks on everyone's faces, which is that they were trying to listen to, to what I was saying, but they were so hot and sweaty and exhausted, you could just tell, like it was just not registering.
Speaker 1** ((00:07:13)) - - And I knew that I had some good concepts. You know, I'm a good teacher, but it was just very clear that it was not registering, you know, and I remember afterwards just being being very aware that this was this was the right thing to do, but it was in the wrong season. And, and, and the fruit kind of spoke for itself. People liked it. But as well, you know, again, it's obviously just a trivial logistical thing, but I, I knew in my heart that this was actually not the right season for that. And one of the things that happens when you, um, do the wrong thing in, uh, at the right time or you do the right thing at the wrong time, is that you end up being much less fruitful than you thought you'd be. And so if you're listening to this and there's an area of your life where you're saying, man, I, I feel like I should be more fruitful. You have to ask yourself, am I doing the wrong thing or is this the wrong time? Now again, if you just you're going to encounter adversity along the way when you try to achieve any goal.
Speaker 1** ((00:08:18)) - - So if it's just adversity that you faced for a couple days or whatever you might need to, you know, um, you might need to go a little bit further and, and, and tough that out a little bit. But, you know, if there's an area where it's like, I, I think this was the right thing to do, maybe it's maybe it's just not the right timing. Uh, the the reason this is so important is because you and I have finite internal resources. We have finite attention, we have finite emotional energy, we finite, um, psychological energy. And these things can can expand and they can grow, but they're never infinite. And if we don't know the season, the risk we run is that we end up spending our valuable internal resources on things that are more or less futile. And so the reason you want to know your season is because your season dictates the priorities. And when you have the priorities rightly established, then your energy starts to get channeled to things that are aligned with your season, aligned with the purposes of God, and ultimately become fruitful and effective and impossible to fail.
Speaker 1** ((00:09:31)) - - If you're a single man and you want to get married, you know your season is called preparation. And so the priorities of your life in this season should reflect that. You know, when I was single, I, I wanted to travel the world. I wanted to record an album, and I wanted to quit porn. Those were my three priorities as a single man. And I did all of them. And after I finished, after I watched porn, I had my sorry after I had my last relapse. To be more accurate. February 2016 eight years ago, nine months later, I met Shalamar. I met my wife. So these things happen, right? If you're married and you can tell the marriage is not as strong as it should be, and you know that this is the season right now is I need to improve my marriage. Well, what are the priorities that are going to help you improve your marriage? Is it going to therapy? Is it going to counseling? Is it getting a coach? Is it doing some coursework? Is it, you know, making friends with other married couples? Uh, is it is it married? I don't know, is it maybe, um, maybe it's quitting pornography.
Speaker 1** ((00:10:29)) - - Maybe it's quitting a different bad habit. Maybe you're having an affair and you need to stop that affair and hope and pray to God that your marriage doesn't fall apart because of it. This is. This is what I mean is, you know, so many, so many of us become kind of, you know, dust in the wind because we don't know our season and because we don't know our season, we don't know our priorities. And because we don't know our priorities, we spend our internal resources on things that are more or less irrelevant and futile as a result. So I want to ask you. What is your season? You know what? And let's start with the area that instantly comes to mind. Fitness. Finances. Family. Marriage. Faith. Recovery. Career calling. Social life. Emotional well-being. Psychological well-being. What? What is the what's the area right now that has your attention? And what's the season? What's the season? Um, you know, I I'll wrap up real quick here, but, you know, for me, my my word for this year is exponential.
Speaker 1** ((00:11:37)) - - That was the word that God gave me. He said, Cynthia, last year you multiplied. This year is about being exponential in all things. And so when I'm making decisions now, like even in my family or my business, I have to ask myself, I cannot ask myself, you know, am I going to get a 1 to 1 return? You know, like, am I going to get my money back, quote unquote. My word is exponential. That's the season I'm in. So I have to ask myself, like, is this high leverage enough? Right? Like, Doug is my wife and I spending one evening a week going on date night. Is that getting us the leverage we need to exponentially grow our marriage? Or or do we need to, you know, maybe add in some marriage counseling or marriage therapy? You know, things that we've been talking about this year. So there's no right or wrong here. And that's the whole point is if you just look to the left or the right, there is a right or wrong because you're either doing what that other person did or you're not.
Speaker 1** ((00:12:34)) - - But but when you have an individualized approach, only you have your season. Your season is not for anyone else. It's only for you. And so when you know your season, when you when you have your season nailed down, figured out. You can own it. You don't have to compare. You can glean from other people for sure, but you don't have to compare. And you can start to move forward in your life. And that that's really, really powerful. So I hope that helps you guys. Again, if recovery is going to be part of your priorities in whatever this season is that you're in, make sure you get your copy of The Last Relapse, my book that is available for free at the last relapse Bbc.com. In the meantime, God bless. Stay clean. Hey, everybody, it's Sathiya again. Thanks for listening. To unleash the man within. I wanted to take a quick moment to let you know about a free e-book that I wrote for you called The Ultimate Guide to Porn Recovery.
Speaker 1** ((00:13:29)) - - It provides a basic framework for the recovery process and a few of my top tips completely free of charge. You can get it now at Ultimate Recovery guide.com. That's w w w Alternate Recovery Guide. Com. Now, if you've been impacted by the podcast and you want to show some support in less than 60s, there are three ways you can do that. First, you can leave a rating or review on your podcast platform. This lets people like you know that the content here is valuable. Secondly, you can share this episode with someone in your life that might benefit from the content. If you're passionate about helping other people experience freedom and success in their lives, this is one of the easiest ways to do that. And lastly, you can subscribe. I personally only listen to the podcast that I subscribe to. If you're seeking daily encouragement, guidance, and insight in your recovery journey, I highly recommend subscribing to Unleash the Man Within. Thanks for listening. I look forward to connecting with you very, very soon.
Speaker 2** ((00:14:30)) - - The information, opinions and recommendations presented in this podcast by Sathiya Sam and his guests are for general information only and should not be considered medical, clinical or any other form of professional advice. Any reliance on the information provided is done at your own risk.