Speaker 1 (00:00:01) - So here's the million dollar question. How are men like us who work hard, have good motives and a God given purpose supposed to fulfill the calling on our lives and the dreams in our hearts, all while establishing sexual integrity, thriving relationships, and a meaningful connection with God. That is the question and this podcast will give you the answers. My name is Sathiya Sam. Welcome to Unleash the Man Within. Yo yo yo. What's up my man? It's Sathiya Sam here. Welcome to Unleash the Man Within. Thank you so much for listening. I'm so glad you're here today. Very, very excited to dive into today's content. Now, before we do that really quick, I want to make sure that you as a listener, that you know, there are bunch of free resources available to you as a listener of this show. So obviously we talked about the last relapse all the time. That's kind of because it's the best resource we have, and we really want you to get your hands on it because we think it could help you.
Speaker 1 (00:01:01) - But I also have just built out a bunch of trainings, a bunch of resources, a bunch of booklets and pamphlets and one pagers and everything you can kind of imagine that could help you. And if you've been listening for a while, I've actually been talking about some trainings I've done on how to heal your brain from porn, how to handle triggers, how to get to the roots. We did a nice guy recovery training. We've done a little bit of everything. It's all available on my website, completely free. If you go to Cynthia, Sam slash resources link is in the show notes. Go check that stuff out. That would be my pleasure to give these things to you, to get them in your hands, because I really believe that it's life changing content. That's kind of what we're about here. You know, we like to make content that changes people's lives. And I really do believe that that that material there could be part of your long term recovery solution. So go to Cynthia com slash resources, get your copies, get your downloads and be on your merry way in your recovery journey.
Speaker 1 (00:02:01) - Now what I want to talk to you about today is about a what I would say is a rookie mistake that I made many times in recovery. And just being honest, I've made many times in my life. I still make them sometimes, if I'm being honest, and we've seen a lot of other people make this mistake. And what I wanted to do today is number one, just address it. But number two, explain why it is so detrimental for us as men in our growth and in our recovery and women. This is true of you as well. I know there's some of you ladies who like listening, and this what we're talking about today is principled. So it's a it's applicable for everybody. That's where I'm going with that. So what is it. Well it's funny, I remember the first time I went to Europe actually. Sorry. Not the first time. The second or third time I went to Europe. I wound up in Germany and I was having a conversation with one of my German friends who was explaining to me that Germans are very cheap.
Speaker 1 (00:02:57) - And and he was saying, you know, Germans are cheap and they like a deal and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I made friends with a Chinese guy at one point, and I remember talking to him and he said, oh yeah, you know, Chinese people are so cheap, you know, we love a good deal. And I grew up in an Indian home, and I heard my dad say, you know, we're Indians, we're cheap, we love a good deal. And you kind of get the idea. There's a lot of demographics that seem to claim cheapness as part of their identity. And sure, there's some truth to it. You know, I believe that. But the reality is this is we come up with all kinds of ridiculous excuses to tolerate dysfunction, and I'm all for a good deal. I'm not saying that that's dysfunctional, but I'm really tired of watching incredibly valuable sons and daughters of God cheap out on things that are actually supremely important for their sanctification, for their relationships, and for their destiny.
Speaker 1 (00:04:06) - And it really frustrates me because there are some people that I know personally who are stuck in life, who are waiting and waiting, and they're just waiting on the Lord. And then every time that they decide to take a step to get some help with something or to develop this or that, they cheap out and then they wonder why they end up getting bad results. So. Look here. Here's the deal. I don't think that people should be spending an arm and a leg necessarily on everything that's related to their personal development. That's a slippery slope, and it's just as foolish to spend frivolously on yourself in the name of I'm investing in myself. However, I do want to encourage you, those of you that are in recovery, those of you that are listening to this podcast because you know that you need to eliminate sexual sin from your life. Otherwise there would be consequences like a divorce, disconnection from God, not stepping into your calling in destiny, performance at work or elsewhere, maybe performance in the bedroom sexually.
Speaker 1 (00:05:16) - Whatever it is, if you have something riding on the line here. And you're keeping out on your recovery solution. I just want to let you know you are getting what you deserve. You're getting what you deserve. Now, this is coming from somebody who still struggles with being cheap. I mean, I mean, my dad drilled that into us as a kid, and it still has kind of stuck with me. And my wife and I are really working hard to have abundance mindsets, and I don't even really like that language. But hopefully you understand what I mean. Abundance mindsets. And here's I'll put it this way. My wife and I are working on not being cheap. That's just kind of the bottom line. So we're trying to really see everything as an investment. We're trying to ask ourselves, do we value this enough to invest in it? And if yes, then we invest and we don't ask as many questions about the cost. Obviously, we have to make sure we can responsibly afford it, but that becomes a latter part of the conversation rather than the leading element.
Speaker 1 (00:06:14) - And so we're working on these things. But I, I want to and I say that so that you guys know like I'm not rolling in dough over here. I did not grow up with money. So I understand what it's like to, to be cheap and to try to cheap out and to try to kind of take the easy way out. I forget who was that said it, but they said it best you can do it right, or you can do it twice. And some of you are struggling in your recovery and have had failed attempts. You know you're not doing it twice. You're doing it for the 100th time or the 200th time because you're failing to invest in yourself. And here is why my wife and I have chosen to to be better in this area in our own lives, is because what we realized is, if we say that we want to have a healthy marriage, and I tell my wife, this marriage is the most important relationship in my life other than my relationship with God.
Speaker 1 (00:07:12) - But then I'm not willing to go pay to see a marriage counselor or to pay for a seminar, or I'm not willing to carve an hour out of my day to listen to a podcast that she really enjoyed and said, hey, you should listen to this. Well, I'm kind of reinforcing that, actually. I don't really care about the marriage that much. I can say I care about it, but when the rubber hits the road, I'm not really putting my money where my mouth is. To use an expression that is very appropriate for what we're discussing. So when guys tell me, you know, Cynthia, I really want to make a recovery because, you know, like my relationship with God, my own confidence, you know, my marriage or my future marriage or my fiance. You know, we want to get married and she wants to feel secure and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But then you cheap out on the solution. You know, we we've had to we've had to really reason with a couple of guys who are engaged, like, you know, because when they're engaged and they meet with us and they say, you know, I don't know if I, I don't really have money to to spend on my recovery.
Speaker 1 (00:08:14) - And it's like, oh, well, aren't you getting married? And it's like, yeah, that's where all my money's going. It's like, oh, well, do you know how expensive divorce is? Like, do you, do you know how much it costs to be in a, in a marriage where your wife doesn't trust you? What if what if you had to just take a little bit of the funds? Like, not even a lot, but maybe you maybe you get something a little bit less quality in your in your wedding, on your wedding day, so that you can have a really healthy marriage. Right? Like we have to make sure that we have perspective on this. And I want to just encourage some of you guys, I'm really coming after you today because I don't want to see you struggle anymore like cheap. Sathiya went for all the free programs, went to all the free webinars, look for all the free YouTube videos. You know, I was the guy who was like, oh, I don't need a program.
Speaker 1 (00:09:00) - I can just piece everything together between the, you know, the podcast. You know, we get that all the time. Cynthia, you got 667 episodes. What? Like why why would I invest in myself? Because every time you choose a cheap solution for something that pertains to your own well-being, you communicate how little you really value yourself. That's why. If your health matters. And you cheap out on your health solution. Then your health does not matter. So you have to somehow reconcile this. And I'm. I know that a bunch of you are feeling the pinch. It's beginning of November. The year's almost done. This was supposed to be the year you quit. This was the supposed to be the year that you quit so that you could do x, y, z, either relationally, professionally, spiritually, personally, financially, whatever it might be. And some of you are actually not that far away, but you got to invest in yourself. I'll tell you the first time I made a big investment in my business.
Speaker 1 (00:10:05) - I know not not all of you. In fact, most of you are not business owners. But I'll use a business example. The first time I invested in my business, it was a very scary amount. It was a five figure amount to work with a consultant and to be part of kind of a community and a mastermind. And I remember I was, I was too I was definitely too cheap, but I was also too scared. And so I told them, I have to talk to my wife about it. You know, we don't make decisions like this on our own, but it was actually a cop out. I was I was making up an excuse. And then I thought, this is perfect because I'll tell my wife the price and she's going to say, no way, we're not doing that. And so I told her the price and she said, wow, that's a lot of money. And I had a day, I think I had a day or something like that. And so we just both agreed we were going to pray about it.
Speaker 1 (00:10:49) - We were going to ask God for peace, and then we would make a decision. And so we took a 24 hours. I called her the next day, and I was kind of ready for her to just let me down gently. You know, honey, this was a really good idea. I don't think it's the right thing, but let's let's keep our eyes peeled. And she came back and she said, you know what? I prayed, and God said, you guys are so interested in growing your business and growing financially and developing personally. Why would you not make an investment into it? And so we just got totally gobsmacked by the Holy Spirit. And so it was like, okay, well, you know what? Signed, sealed, delivered. We did it. God provided all the money that we had to invest in this. God provided literally the next week. By the end of that, next week, I had all that money back. It was it was incredible. Um, but I'll tell you, before I even got the money back, I.
Speaker 1 (00:11:40) - I took that flight home feeling like a total badass. Not because I made some big power move and invested all this money into a program, but because I communicated to myself that I was worth the investment. I communicated to myself that I was valuable enough to invest that kind of amount into. And that, my friends, that is what makes this so powerful. By by choosing to invest in your recovery, you are actually communicating to yourself that you are worth the investment, that you're valuable enough to invest in. So it's a self reinforcing thing in a really beautiful way. And this is how you begin to further your recovery. So look that's everything for today. But look let me just say one last thing. You're worth it. You're worth it. You you deserve it. And it doesn't have to be us. This is not a this is not a pitch for deep clean. This is just stop chipping out on solutions. When when you could find a really good one, invest in it and change your life forever.
Speaker 1 (00:12:44) - Like we're not talking about about having something luxurious here. We're talking about you living a life of righteousness. We're talking about you having good relationships with the people around you, including your wife. We're talking about you stepping into the calling that God's placed on your life, that that's what this is about. And I just I just think you'd be crazy not to invest in it. I think you're worth it. And I think if you listen this far into the episode, you know it too. So go out there, do what you need to do. You can book a call with our team if you need to. The link is in the show notes. We would love to work with you and to see if Deep Clean makes sense for you. But man, you are worth it. Go out there. Go do it. I'm cheering you on. Stay clean guys, we'll talk soon. Bye bye. Hey, everybody, it's Sathiya again. Thanks for listening to Unleash the Man Within. I wanted to take a quick moment to let you know about a free e-book that I wrote for you, called The Ultimate Guide to Porn Recovery.
Speaker 1 (00:13:35) - It provides a basic framework for the recovery process and a few of my top tips completely free of charge. You can get it now at WWW Recovery guide.com. That's w w w Recovery guide. Com. Now if you've been impacted by the podcast and you want to show some support in less than 60s, there are three ways you can do that. First, you can leave a rating or review on your podcast platform. This lets people like you know that the content here is valuable. Secondly, you can share this episode with someone in your life that might benefit from the content. If you're passionate about helping other people experience freedom and success in their lives, this is one of the easiest ways to do that. And lastly, you can subscribe. I personally only listen to the podcast that I subscribe to. If you're seeking daily encouragement, guidance and insight in your recovery journey, I highly recommend subscribing to Unleash the Man Within. Thanks for listening. I look forward to connecting with you very, very soon.
Speaker 2 (00:14:35) - The information, opinions and recommendations presented in this podcast by sathiya Sam and his guests are for general information only and should not be considered medical, clinical or any other form of professional advice.
Speaker 2 (00:14:46) - Any reliance on the information provided is done at your own risk.