Speaker 1 (00:00:00) - So here's the million dollar question. How are men like us who work hard, have good motives and a God given purpose supposed to fulfill the calling on our lives and the dreams in our hearts, all while establishing sexual integrity, thriving relationships, and a meaningful connection with God. That is the question, and this podcast will give you the answers. My name is Sathiya Sam. Welcome to Unleash the Man Within. Yo, yo, yo. What is up, my man? It's the same here. Welcome to Unleash the Man Within. Thank you guys so much for listening. I'm so glad you're here today. And we're in a really, really cool series. We're deconstructing arousal. It's what we talked about yesterday. Today we're going to deconstruct lust, and I think you're going to find it really interesting, really insightful. Look, real quick, we're approaching the end of the year and we talked about this in a couple earlier episodes. It's important that we sort of take stock of, Hey, how far have I made it this year and how much do I have left to go? And I just want to let you know that if 2023 was supposed to be the year that you quit and things have not gone the way you wanted them to go, the year is not over yet, okay? In fact, you still have two full months to make a difference.
Speaker 1 (00:01:16) - And I would love for you to consider what we're doing here at Deep Clean. Now, we have just opened up a whole bunch of spots. These spots are going to go very quickly. They always do. And we're having waitlist issues quite regularly right now, except we have just added a whole bunch of coaching capacity. And so I don't talk about this tons on the podcast, but when we do have availability, I'd like to let you guys know and I want to let you know that there's a bunch of availability for you right now. And so if you want to be a part of what we're doing here and ultimately you want to be fully free of pornography for the rest of your life, this is a chance to do it. You can be part of our deep, clean system. You're going to get one on one coaching group coaching, and you're finally going to be able to just feel confident in yourself and know know what's causing the issues, know how to tackle them. Your relationships are going to get stronger.
Speaker 1 (00:02:04) - You're going to be able to step into the things God's called you to step into. This is a great opportunity for you to do all those things and more and limited availability for us pretty much on the regular. But now more than ever before and we're starting to broadcast all our channels like, Hey, we have a bunch of coaching capacity and it's going to it's going to fill up quickly. So now's your chance to get in. And so, look, if you want to hop in here before it's too late, click the link in the show notes to book a call with my team and we'll sit down with you. We'll see if it makes sense for us to even consider deep clean because it's not for everybody and a majority of people, it's not actually quite the right fit for one reason or the other. But if it is a good fit for you, then obviously we would love to have you in and we'd love to help you quit porn by the end of this year, or at least be well on your way to doing so when you start January 20th, 24.
Speaker 1 (00:02:51) - So Link is in the show notes. Let's get into Deconstructing lust. So the we do have a little bit of a kind of a text I guess, that we're following today. And this is Matthew five verse 27. You guys have heard it hundreds of times on this podcast. Oh, my gosh. Probably ad nauseum. Jesus said, You've heard that it was said you shall not commit adultery. But I tell you, verse 28, that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. That's the new international version. I'm going to see if I can pull up another version here that has a little bit different phrase phrasing. Okay. New King James says. I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery. There's another version. I'm I mean, I can just quote it if I can't find it, but there's, there's one version that actually says but he who looks at a woman with lustful intent. Yeah. English standard version.
Speaker 1 (00:03:45) - I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in her heart. Something that I am working on in my company right now is Google Advertising. And don't worry, I'm not going to get into Internet marketing today. But this is just an interesting subject that came up in my conversation with Shane O'Neill, which is going to get released here in a couple of weeks, because we were talking about about genres and about, you know, preferences and how the things that we watch tell a lot about. They tell a lot about our sexual template or arousal template, rather, and even our upbringing and all that kind of stuff. And we got into this interesting conversation about genres. Like it's one thing to say this is the genre I watch, or this is the kind of genres that I look for that definitely tells you something. But in my personal opinion, it's what you type into the search bar that is the most revealing. And we got into this sort of conversation about user intent versus user interrupt.
Speaker 1 (00:04:50) - So I mentioned the Google ads because any of you that have done online marketing know that you can advertise on platforms like Facebook and Facebook is all about interrupting the user. So, you know, you guys have seen all these ads before, right? You scroll through your feed and then boom, there's an ad, it says it's a little sponsored piece and then you keep going. Now, that's the goal of the advertisers in that environment is they're trying to interrupt you. They're trying to get your attention, which is why sometimes you get really obnoxious ads because they're trying to flag you down because you're not looking for them. Right. You're just looking through your social feed. You're just, you know, on YouTube scrolling around. These advertisers have to somehow interrupt your attention, capture it, and then compel you to do something. So that's that's user interrupt. User intent is more like Google, where you are actually looking for something and you're trying to get the attention of people who were already kind of looking for you anyway.
Speaker 1 (00:05:50) - And it's a very different advertising experience now. You guys don't need to know a lick more about online advertising. We'll let myself and my team worry about that. But the point I'm making here is that there's actually great overlap in our approach to understanding lust. See, the the key with with lust is or the question is, are we being interrupted or is there intent? Because if you're being interrupted, it's not lust, right? That's not what Jesus is talking about here. Jesus is saying, you've heard it was said you shall not commit adultery. But I see you, everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent. So the question is, when does it become lustful intent? But it is not lust just because you got interrupted. So in other words, if maybe you're watching videos on YouTube and an ad comes up that's got something really provocative and you find it a little bit triggering. That was not lust. Now, obviously, if you're getting ads like that regularly, you're probably looking for the wrong stuff on on YouTube.
Speaker 1 (00:06:52) - We I remember one church, we are one church I worked at. We had a guy come complain. He's like, every time I watch your guys videos on YouTube, like sermons and worship stuff and all that, he's like, every time I watch your videos on YouTube, all these really lustful ads come up like something's wrong with your church. Da da da. And we we didn't have the heart to tell him. Like, hey, the ads are actually based on what you watch, not what we produce. But, you know, the point here is if something comes up and you get interrupted, it's not it's not lust. Lust is about the intent. Okay? And this is very important because we get interrupted all the time. Look, if you are a man that is ages 25, 25 to 50. One way or another, the the algorithms and the marketing gurus at large are going to be trying to get their messages in front of you. And they know that if they have a girl who's really attractive, who's showing a little skin or something to that effect, that they're probably more likely to get your attention and hold your attention.
Speaker 1 (00:07:53) - But so long as the nature of your experience or your interaction is being interrupted and it's not, I went looking for it, then we can officially uncategorized that from lust. So the reason I hope this is I hope some of you just breathed a huge sigh of relief because I know for me, I used to think any time I experienced attraction, right. Or arousal, that it was it was lust. It was bad because it wasn't my wife, you know. And I thought this even when I was single and I didn't know who my wife was going to be. But that was kind of the paradigm I was operating with, and I found it really liberating to be like, Oh, okay, it's about the intent. So if you're walking down the street and you see somebody attractive, well, you saw somebody attractive. It's not lust, but if you start checking her out, if you do a double take, you know, it's everything that happens after that that is going to reveal the intent.
Speaker 1 (00:08:46) - And this is where this is where we find out if something is lustful or not. So double taking, obviously checking somebody out, probably just spending a little bit too much time looking at them. All of these things kind of fall into that that category of lust. But then all the more so. And this is why I was going I was saying at the beginning, show me what you're typing into the search box, that that's going to tell us a lot about what you're really looking after Now. This is now I'm not even just talking about is it lust or not? Like, look, if you're if you're typing anything along these lines into a search box, it's lust because the intent is there. You went looking for it and you know what you were doing. But all the more so if we can get into the details, in the specifics of what you're looking for, it's well, let me say it this way. If we look at if we look at what you're typing into a search box, it not only tells us the details about the content you're looking for, it tells us the details about the inner needs, the underlying elements that you're really looking to get met through the content.
Speaker 1 (00:09:52) - So this is incredibly valuable, valuable for us, very insightful. And especially if you're working with a professional, they should be asking you about what you're looking for, about what? What's been what's getting typed into the into the search box. Now, that might come up differently. That might just come up when you're doing inner child work or working through trauma from the past or whatever. But it should be part of the conversation because there's a lot of clues there. There's a lot of clues that tell us what's going on within you and what it is you're trying to get out of this. And if we can identify what you're trying to get out of this, well, we can find a healthier way for you to get that thing without having to use pornography or something toxic like it. And then you can go on and live a much better life and you can walk in your calling and all those great things that we get to talk about here. So I hope this is a little bit helpful for some of you guys.
Speaker 1 (00:10:38) - You need to identify your intent first. Okay. Did I get interrupted or was that intent that's going to help us categorize whether or not this was lustful. Now, if there was intent there, what we then want to look for are the specifics. And we want to ask ourselves, why was I looking for that? And the better you can answer that question, the better the solution you can derive to be free of porn once and for all. So that's everything for today. Guys, thank you so much for listening. And look, if you want. I mean, this is the stuff that we specialize in. If you do want some professional help, you can check out our program. You can book a call with somebody and we'll see if you're a good fit for what we're doing here. Well, we have some capacity we would love to consider you Link is in the show notes. In the meantime, God bless you guys. Have an amazing day. Stay clean. Okay. We'll talk soon.
Speaker 1 (00:11:22) - Bye bye. Hey, everybody, it's Sathiya again. Thanks for listening to Unleash the Man Within. I wanted to take a quick moment to let you know about a free e-book that I wrote for you called The Ultimate Guide to Porn Recovery. It provides a basic framework for the recovery process and a few of my top tips completely free of charge. You can get it now at WW recovery guide.com that's W WW alternate recovery guide. Com. Now if you've been impacted by the podcast and you want to show some support in less than 60s, there are three ways you can do that. First, you can leave a rating or review on your podcast platform. This lets people like you know that the content here is valuable. Secondly, you can share this episode with someone in your life that might benefit from the content. If you're passionate about helping other people experience freedom and success in their lives. This is one of the easiest ways to do that. And lastly, you can subscribe. I personally only listen to the podcast that I subscribe to.
Speaker 1 (00:12:23) - If you're seeking daily encouragement, guidance and insight in your recovery journey, I highly recommend subscribing to Unleash the Man Within. Thanks for listening. I look forward to connecting with you very, very soon.
Speaker 2 (00:12:36) - The information, opinions and recommendations presented in this podcast by Sathya, Sam and his guests are for general information only and should not be considered medical, clinical or any other form of professional advice. Any reliance on the information provided is done at your own risk.