Speaker 1 (00:00:00) - So here's the million dollar question. How are men like us who work hard, have good motives and a God given purpose supposed to fulfill the calling on our lives and the dreams in our hearts, all while establishing sexual integrity, thriving relationships, and a meaningful connection with God. That is the question, and this podcast will give you the answers. My name is Sathiya Sam. Welcome to Unleash the Man Within. Yo, yo, yo. What's up, everybody? It's Sathiya Sam here. Welcome to Unleash the Man Within. Thank you guys so much for listening. I'm so glad you're here today and really, really excited. Hey, we're going to dive into some pretty important subject content over the next two days. You know, I was just thinking about the time of the year. We're sort of approaching that home stretch and we know how things are crazy, how crazy things can get. And I want to give you guys a chance to evaluate, to look ahead and to make sure that we really do end the year on a good foot and that you guys set yourself up well for 2024.
Speaker 1 (00:01:04) - And we can't talk about that in December. It's too late. Even November is pushing it. I want to do it now. I guess, you know, we're almost in November, but I want to do it now before we we get too far into the crazy busy season. So, look, before we do that really quick, I just need to mention that if you have not followed me on Instagram yet, I'm super active over there. We're starting to ramp things up on TikTok. So if you want to be one of the early followers on our TikTok account, you can do that as well. But look, links are in the show notes. Just follow me over there. This is a great way to populate your feeds with something that's actually going to help you and not something that's going to cause you to stumble. I think that's pretty much as simple as it gets. So Link is in the show notes. Sathya Me Sam is the handle Instagram TikTok. I think we're on YouTube as well.
Speaker 1 (00:01:49) - Anywhere that shorts are available, that's kind of where we're broadcasting ourselves these days. I hope to see you over there. Okay, so let's jump into it. So, you know, a lot of people that listen to this show and I'm sure you're not an exception, have tried to some degree to quit pornography. And for one reason or another, things have not worked out the way that they wanted them to. So, you know, for me personally, that was Internet filters. That was my first strategy, Accountability partners. That was my second strategy. You know what I'm trying to think what else I did blogs, books, podcasts. I kind of went through this resource. Sorry, not podcasts. I don't think podcasts were around. But, you know, going through like more virtual online resources, trying to kind of get some help that way. And then it was coaching and then it was, you know, courses and then, you know, and then I start to do therapy and start to do inner healing and start to kind of do inner child work.
Speaker 1 (00:02:40) - And all those things collectively led to a place of freedom, you know, a place where I could say, Hey, this no longer has a stranglehold in my life and I'm not going back. And that has been an incredible seven and a half years for me. So the question is like, you know, it's easy for me to share my story and it would be easy for you to say, Oh, that's my story, too. And I'm sure there's tons of parallels. I bet you the more detail I got into my story, the more you would say, Oh, yeah, Sathya, you get it? Because, I mean, I tried everything. I was in some of the lowest, darkest places trying to get rid of this stuff. But what I, what I wanted to address today is the real reason that people don't quit pornography. And the reality is there's more than one. And you could always make an argument of our people committed. You can make an argument of, you know, did they have the right energy and time to to channel into their recovery so that they can actually get the result they wanted? Look, there's myriads of factors here, but what I wanted to talk about today is really what I would call the the core concepts of recovery and really the core concept.
Speaker 1 (00:03:48) - And so some of you that have been listening for a long time, you've heard this before. And look, if this is your maybe you're new to this podcast or you haven't been listening to us for for super long, this might be relatively new for you. So let me try to set this up a little bit. Male brain in particular, we are we are excellent problem solvers. At least we think we are and we naturally solve problems. We do that very well. Now, if you're married, I'm sure this problem solver of yours has gotten you into some hot water when maybe your wife was sharing and she just wanted to be validated. She just wanted to be heard. She didn't want a solution to her problem. But you gave her one anyway. We could probably all raise our hands to that. We've all been there before because this is kind of what we do. We like to come into situations and come up with solutions. So when you have a behavioral solution, personally, the classic male response is logic.
Speaker 1 (00:04:45) - We apply logic to solve the problem because typically logic leads us to better solutions, right? Logic is unemotional, it's generally unbiased, it is objective in nature and usually very, very reliable. So when it comes to internet porn addiction or some sort of similar compulsive sexual behavior, the the general male approach is, I am watching this stuff that I don't want to watch on my device. Therefore, I will set up a blocker to block me from going to said device and male brain. The logical part of male brain says yes and amen. Sathya. Great solution. Let's. Do this. But what happens is, in the heat of a moment, you find a way around this logical solution. So what does that tell you? Well, it tells you that the issue you're dealing with is not logical in nature, because if it was actually a logical issue, then a logical solution would fix the problem. So when you apply something that logically makes sense to you and the solution is ineffective, it is not that the solution was bad, it's that the way you identified the problem was incorrect and an incorrect diagnosis will never lead to an effective solution.
Speaker 1 (00:06:15) - When we take this approach of this approach is what I would call behavior modification kind of logic in your way through a major issue like a porn addiction. This is the equivalent of running over a weed with a lawn mower temporarily. The weed is gone and everything looks clean. But truly it is only a matter of time before that weed grows back as long as the root system is still intact. For for us to actually remove a weed permanently, we have to disrupt and eventually remove the root system altogether as long as the root systems there, those weeds are going to grow back one way or the other. And it may not be instantly. In fact, it might be prolonged and delayed, but it is still just a matter of time. And so that was my personal story. My first, you know, for about three years of recovery was really driven by logical solutions. I'm a logical guy. I'm very brainy, I'm analytical, very independent, a little bit on the proud side from time to time.
Speaker 1 (00:07:18) - Like, I don't need help. I don't need anything. I can do this on my own. And that basically got me spinning my tires, stuck in the binge purge cycle, wondering why I was so hopeless in this fight against sexual sin. To really make a long term change, you must uproot the underlying elements that are driving your behavior. Porn addiction in particular is not a logical problem. It is not that you are simply logically making a decision. The nature of porn consumption in of itself is incredibly emotional. It's incredibly driven by the inner life, by thoughts, beliefs, feelings and emotions, by perceptions, by paradigms, and ultimately by this inner life that does not operate on logic. And so, my friend, if you have tried all the logical solutions and you feel like you're at square one again, number one, I've been there. I know exactly how crummy that feels and I'm so sorry. But number two, I want you to know that hope is available to you today. You just simply have to start looking for solutions in a different arena.
Speaker 1 (00:08:30) - Okay. We're not talking about a small tweak here. We're talking about a seismic shift in your approach that says rather than trying to logic my way through this, rather than trying to run the sweet over with a lawn mower and go for a quick gimmick or a quick hack or something like that, you have to be willing to address the underlying elements. And sometimes that's uncomfortable, sometimes that's complex. It's not always super straight, dry and cut. But if you're willing to do it, if you're willing to pay the price on the other side is not just everlasting freedom, which is fantastic. Highly recommend it, but it's you becoming the person God made you to be. It's you having healthier relationships. It's you living a life where you don't have to fear being found out. It's you living in a dynamic, fluid relationship with the living God. I mean, I cannot tell you how great this life is on the other side, but it doesn't come from behavior modification. It doesn't come from logical solutions.
Speaker 1 (00:09:27) - It comes from solutions that address the inner underlying elements of the heart. And if you're willing to go on that journey, then I can tell you it is only a matter of time before you recover. See, when you when you choose logical solutions, it's only a matter of time before you slip again because the roots are there and one way or another they will manifest. But when you take a more roots approach of I'm going to get to the root level, I'm going to uproot this thing, well then it's only a matter of time before you're walking in full freedom, before you become the person that you're made to be. And before you get to step into all the great things that feel like they're on hold right now because of your sin. So that's the reason that you haven't quit yet. You have not gotten to the root. And maybe you might be saying like, Sathya, I have gotten to the roots. I did. I did the stuff you tell me here, you know, I made the effort or I did some therapy and whatever.
Speaker 1 (00:10:20) - As long as the weed keeps growing back, the roots are still there. So you might have addressed the roots partially, but they have not been fully addressed because if they had been fully addressed, then you would have made a full recovery. Now there is an external component. I'm not actually against internet filters and accountability partners and some of these more logical measures, but they are they are meant to be undergirded by an approach that is a lot more foundational in its in its nature. It's going after the things that are underneath the surface. That's where the money is at. So I want to encourage you, if you're still struggling, if you still haven't quit, you've got time, but not too much of it. Okay. Don't get too comfy over there. The best time to quit was yesterday. The second best time is today. And if you can get an approach that is going to help you get to those root issues, it will be so, so, so, so worth your while. So look, that's everything for today.
Speaker 1 (00:11:18) - If you're looking for serious help, like I said, we have Instagram, we have the book. But if you know that you need help and you want to end this thing before the year is over, then click the link to book a call with my team. We'll speak with you. We'll see if Deep cleans a good fit and you could be on your way in a matter of moments actually towards a solution that's going to properly get to the root of the issue. So, look, that's everything. Guys, thank you so much for listening. Have an amazing day. Stay clean. We'll talk soon. Bye bye. Hey, everybody, it's Thea again. Thanks for listening to Unleash the Man Within. I wanted to take a quick moment to let you know about a free e-book that I wrote for you called The Ultimate Guide to Porn Recovery. It provides a basic framework for the recovery process, and a few of my top tips completely free of charge. You can get it now at WW ultimate recovery guide.com that's WWW ultimate recovery guide.
Speaker 1 (00:12:13) - Com. Now if you've been impacted by the podcast and you want to show some support in less than 60s, there are three ways you can do that. First, you can leave a rating or review on your podcast platform. This lets people like you know that the content here is valuable. Secondly, you can share this episode with someone in your life that might benefit from the content. If you're passionate about helping other people experience freedom and success in their lives, this is one of the easiest ways to do that. And lastly, you can subscribe. I personally only listen to the podcast that I subscribe to. If you're seeking daily encouragement, guidance and insight in your recovery journey, I highly recommend subscribing to Unleash the Man Within. Thanks for listening. I look forward to connecting with you very, very soon.
Speaker 2 (00:12:59) - The information, opinions and recommendations presented in this podcast by Sathiya, Sam and his guests are for general information only and should not be considered medical, clinical or any other form of professional advice. Any reliance on the information provided is done at your own risk.