Speaker 1 (00:00:01) - So here's the million dollar question. How are men like us who work hard, have good motives and a God given purpose supposed to fulfill the calling on our lives and the dreams in our hearts, all while establishing sexual integrity, thriving relationships, and a meaningful connection with God. That is the question, and this podcast will give you the answers. My name is Sathiya Sam. Welcome to Unleash the Man Within. Yo, yo. What is going on, bro? Welcome to Unleash the Man Within. I'm your host, Sathiya. Sam, thank you so much for listening. I am so glad you're here and I'm so excited to jump in. We're going to talk about what I would do if I started recovery all over again. If I started today, what would I do before I jump into that? I just want to mention that right now I'm looking for five young professional men. When I say young, I mean ages 25 to 45. Okay, relax. Not being discriminatory. And if you're a little bit outside of that in either direction, that's okay.
Speaker 1 (00:01:04) - You know, but I'm looking for five guys who want to get to the roots of their porn addiction in the next 120 days that we want to add in to our program right now. So I'm doing a special promo with the podcast. If you want to be one of those guys, there's a link in the show notes to book a time with their strategy team and they'll basically talk to you about your goals, your situation, and they're going to evaluate whether or not what we have here is a good fit. Because the honest truth is for about 40. Well, no, for more than that, for probably about 60% of the people on these calls, it turns out to not be a good fit. But obviously, if it is, we'd love to work with you and we'd love for you to be one of those five guys. So, look, we have a big listenership here, so don't waste time. If you want to do it, click that link right now, book that time, and we'll see if Deep Clean is your next step into a full, lasting recovery.
Speaker 1 (00:01:55) - Now, let's jump into today's content. This question has been asked a couple of times, kind of indirectly. I don't know that anybody's really straight up just ask me this, but I thought it would be interesting to cover and even something I wanted to challenge myself with because, you know, when I started recovery was 2011. Is that right? 2011, maybe it was even earlier than that. I think it was actually 2010. And so we're talking about, you know, a whole decade and then some since I first began recovery. And obviously, we're in a very different world today than we were all those years ago. But honestly, the principles are pretty much identical. So if I was starting recovery today, I can tell you that there's probably only two things I would for sure do. The first is that I would plug into a community of men who were talking about porn addiction and sharing transparently. That's the most important thing. And I'm not talking about like a group where it's like, Hey, I slipped today.
Speaker 1 (00:03:03) - I'm talking about like a group where it's like, Hey, I got really mad at my wife, and I yelled at her. And the reason I yelled at her is because she did something that my mom used to always do when I was little. And the way she did it, even though she meant no wrong, it made me feel like a little boil over again. I was totally powerless and I just lost it on her. Like I'm talking about real life. And here's why. Because when I was in ministry school, I found these friendships and we talked about porn and sexual struggles and all that kind of stuff. But we just talked about life and we shared some of our deepest, darkest secrets in detail. You know, it wasn't even just it wasn't even just about saying, yeah, you know, I kind of did this thing and we're sort of dabbling into the truth and vulnerability, but we're not really going in both feet because that would be super awkward. We're like, We're going in that that man, there was nothing like that.
Speaker 1 (00:03:56) - Like, that was so life changing for me. And that's why community has to be part of your solution. Otherwise it's not a solution. So that's the first thing I would do is I would plug in a community where I could be transparent. And then the second thing I would I would do for sure without the shadow of a doubt, if I was in recovery today, is I would get professional help. I was so slow to do that. I mean, I mentioned 2010 was when I kind of began this like. Porn is bad. I need to get it out of my life kind of thing. And by the time I actually got any professional help was probably three and a half years later. And not surprisingly, from when I got professional help to when I got free was about two years, something like that. Like the timeline was just totally accelerated. And that actually now that I think about it, it's in those, those two or maybe it was two and a half years where I also was plugging into really vulnerable community like, like real community, legitimate community where we loved each other, We had fun together, we roasted each other and we shared openly and transparently about life.
Speaker 1 (00:05:07) - So why do I say all this? Well, because those two things are probably the things I would be looking for right away. Now, here's the frustrating part about that, right? You can't build community overnight. That just it just doesn't happen. But you got to start somewhere professional help that you can do overnight. You know, whether you see a therapist or you get a coach or you buy a course or whatever, There's different ways to get professionals inputting into your situation, but that's something you can do right away. Now, two small things that I would do throughout my recovery. So if I if I started today, I would I would start these right away. I would start journaling. That would be a really important one for me. I would start journaling and then I would start one self-care practice every single week based on my love languages. So that's a really important one. I mean, I'm basically giving you the secret sauce of our program, but that's a huge one. When we get to the self care section, like, Oh, I hate self care, man.
Speaker 1 (00:06:07) - I hate the way people talk about it because it's always like, you know, you deserve this, You deserve that, you know? And look, you do like, I'm not trying to take that away, but self care is actually altruistic in nature, if it's done correctly. In other words, self care is actually for the betterment of those around us. It's like, look, I take care of myself. Like I take the weekends off so that when I come back during the week, my team gets the best of me. I don't work seven days a week. I need that self care on the weekends and even during the week. Now I take a little bit of time for self care because that allows me to come back refreshed so I can serve you guys better. So it's the same principle. But we want to. We want to take care of ourselves in ways that are actually effective. So, again, we can't just do the thing that everybody is doing or do the thing that worked for so-and-so.
Speaker 1 (00:07:02) - You need to do the thing that's going to have the greatest impact on you. And one of the best ways to determine that is your love languages. So for me, my my top two love languages are quality time and words of affirmation. And so it's interesting. But when I get in front of a mirror and I look myself in the eyes and I speak words of life, I can't help but smile. It just brings I just I started smiling, you know, it makes me so happy. I love hearing those words. And when I am speaking those words to myself, it is incredibly invigorating. And so that that's a practice that, again, that I'm giving you that we call that mirror therapy and deep clean. And then the other one is quality time. So for me, I like going on walks alone or a bike ride or something like that where I'm just alone. I'm kind of lost in my thoughts and I can just do my thing and do it the way I wanted and do it how I wanted and all that stuff.
Speaker 1 (00:07:50) - I really, really enjoy that. And I guess I'm sharing all this not I'm not trying to give you specifics, but the concept, I would have applied that right away. I would have said, okay, what are my love languages? What something I can do on my own that's really going to input into those love languages and speak to me? And then how do I do it every week, if not every day? So two major things there, guys, and two minor things that I would do if I started recovery today. Let me summarize real quick. First thing is I would plug into meaningful community. That obviously takes some time. And the second thing is I would get professional help because if you have somebody who's already been there, who's already done that and they got the result that you wanted, you would be crazy to try to do it on your own. You should get their help and get the most direct form of help you possibly can from them. The more direct, the more the faster your result will come.
Speaker 1 (00:08:42) - So you can listen to this podcast and piece things together. That's awesome. We've had some people do that and make some progress, but the people who actually make lasting recoveries are the people who work with us in our program because then they get the hands on help. So those are the two big things. The two small things I would journal every day, and then I would find some piece of self care based on my love languages, and I would institute it into my rhythms and routines weekly, daily, rather, if not weekly. So that's everything for today. Thank you guys so much for listening. Again, if you want to be one of those five guys that we are looking to help right now, book a call, do it before the slots fill up. If the slots are full. By the way, you can email us in podcast. That's it. We'll do our best to slot you in when something is available. Like I said, these go quickly. They might be gone already even by the time you get to the end of this episode.
Speaker 1 (00:09:32) - So if you want this, if you want the slot, rather make sure you click that link. In the meantime, guys, keep looking after yourselves. Hopefully you gleaned from something today whether you're starting or your miles in a recovery. Take something from this episode. Go start applying it and further that recovery. You are worth it, my friend. I'm so glad you tuned in to listen today. Thanks again. We'll talk soon. Bye bye. Hey, everybody, it's Lithia again. Thanks for listening to Unleash the Man Within. I wanted to take a quick moment to let you know about a free e-book that I wrote for you called The Ultimate Guide to Porn Recovery. It provides a basic framework for the recovery process and a few of my top tips completely free of charge. You can get it now at WW ultimate recovery guide.com that's W WW your recovery guide. Com. Now if you've been impacted by the podcast and you want to show some support in less than 60s, there are three ways you can do that.
Speaker 1 (00:10:29) - First, you can leave a rating or review on your podcast platform. This lets people like you know that the content here is valuable. Secondly, you can share this episode with someone in your life that might benefit from the content. If you're passionate about helping other people experience freedom and success in their lives, this is one of the easiest ways to do that. And lastly, you can subscribe. I personally only listen to the podcast that I subscribe to. If you're seeking daily encouragement, guidance and insight in your recovery journey, I highly recommend subscribing to Unleash the Man Within. Thanks for listening. I look forward to connecting with you very, very soon.
Speaker 2 (00:11:08) - The information, opinions and recommendations presented in this podcast by Cynthia, Sam and his guests are for general information only and should not be considered medical, clinical or any other form of professional advice. Any reliance on the information provided is done at your own risk.