Speaker 1 (00:00:01) - So here's the million dollar question. How are men like us who work hard, have good motives and a God given purpose supposed to fulfill the calling on our lives and the dreams in our hearts, all while establishing sexual integrity, thriving relationships, and a meaningful connection with God. That is the question, and this podcast will give you the answers. My name is Cynthia Sam. Welcome to Unleash the Man Within. Yo, yo, yo. What's going on, bro? Welcome to Unleash the Man Within. Thank you so much for listening. I'm so glad you're here and so honored. You take a little bit of time into your out of your day to listen to little old me. Little old Sathya. It's a treat to have you here. And we're going to dive into three lies that porn taught you. This is not really about the lies. This is more about the truth. But hey, we got to start somewhere. And sometimes calling out the lies is helpful for us to get on track and identify the truth.
Speaker 1 (00:01:00) - So that is today's content. That's what we're going to be focusing on. I don't think I really even have anything to promote or talk to you guys about. You know, it's kind of steady status quo over here. My wife and I are just getting ready for our baby. Oh, my goodness. We are so close and so excited. And, you know, it's just that feeling where it's like, man, my life is about to dramatically change. And yet somehow I have no idea how, you know, it's kind of one of those weird things. So anyway, that's everything that I need to mention. Let's jump in and let's talk about these three lives. So let's give a little bit of context. You guys know that context is king. It's one of the reasons I love podcasting is even in a ten, 12 minute episode with you guys, I can give you some really good context before making my point, which is not something I can do on social media or some of these other channels where we're pretty active these days.
Speaker 1 (00:01:52) - So we know that porn is quietly becoming an epidemic. We know that about 35% of all downloads online are pornographic in nature. We know that the porn industry amasses probably around $100 billion a year between advertising revenue subscription and probably other revenue streams we don't even know about. We know that porn is inextricably linked with sex trafficking and the list goes on and on and on. Now, why is this a problem? Why do we even care? Well, all of those things I just mentioned are probably reason enough. But the the the part that people don't talk about is the conditioning. And you and I are designed to be conditioned. It's a fascinating thing. Your body, you know, there's this concept in biology called homeostasis and it's a little bit of an illusion. It is it is absolutely true in a biological sense. It's absolutely true. Your body has certain levels that it needs to have that are considered balanced. And if those levels were to deviate for one reason or another, your body is going to fight to return things back to a homeostasis.
Speaker 1 (00:03:03) - But the the whole the whole idea that that homeostasis couldn't change or or or adapt with time is a complete misnomer. So let me give you a completely different example. And I promise this is going to help us set the stage a little bit. Imagine that every single night before you go to bed, you eat a bag of Doritos every single night. Let's say you do it for a year straight. Do you think that's going to improve or or hinder your physical health? It's probably going to hinder it because the the the eating at night is conditioning your brain and your body to behave a certain way versus if you didn't eat Doritos at night, which I'm going to assume most of you don't don't eat a bag of Doritos before you go to bed. If you do, man, props to you. But I'm going to assume most of you don't. That also sends a signal. And what I'm trying to say is everything that we do in our life conditions us to behave a certain way. You can have two people with the same genetics.
Speaker 1 (00:04:06) - They live differently. Why? Well, of course not. All the same genes are expressed. There's a molecular explanation for that. But even environmentally, part of the reason is simply because they have different experiences and those experiences conditioned them differently. So we are constantly being conditioned. And when you watch porn with regularity, what you don't realize is that porn is actually sending you messages about what a man should look like, about how a man should behave during sex, about how women should behave during sex, about how to view women porn. Porn sends messages about about our priorities and about our needs and about our desires and our wants. You know, one of the worst things that has happened in in the advancement of technology is that we we are privy to, to tailored pornographic and virtual sexual experiences. Of the danger is that we get everything that we want when we want it. And that is a really bad thing. It's it's a really bad thing for well, for people in general, but certainly for men.
Speaker 1 (00:05:14) - When men get everything that they want, when they want it, you know, without having to sacrifice or make a price, pay a price, rather, that becomes a huge, huge problem. So this is this is to set the stage, because these lies are not they're not messages that are that are overtly broadcast in pornographic content. These lies are small. They're subtle, but they're incredibly insidious. And the deeper they get into your psyche, the worse the damage is. And what I'm hoping to do today is to shine a light on them, because we know that lies cannot survive in the light. It is only in the dark where lies really can have any kind of livelihood. So the goal today is to expose the lies that that you might be liberated and that you might be inches maybe meters closer to the truth. Lie, number one. Your body isn't enough. So there's research now out of Australia that that actually shows porn addiction is more likely to cause male eating disorders. Think about that.
Speaker 1 (00:06:32) - Male eating disorders. Now, why Why would porn consumption affect our consumption of food? Because we are seeing we're being programmed to look a certain way based on the videos that we watch. So men are men's relationship with food is being adversely affected because of the porn they're watching. They think if I don't eat, I'll be in better shape. If I'm in better shape, I'm more likely to be accepted and have a sexual experience with someone else. Prediction is shown to cause penile dysmorphia, penile dysmorphia. This idea that my penis is not. Big enough. Long enough. Large enough or whatever. So the number of elongation operation requests has spiked over the last ten, 15 years. It continues to increase because, again, porn sends that message that you supposed to look a certain way. And if you're not, you know, X, Y, Z, it's going to be a problem for you to be sexually appealing to another woman. It's a lie. So what's the truth? Your body's enough. Your body is enough.
Speaker 1 (00:07:45) - Next. What's our next lie? Lie number two. Is that you or sorry? Your sex life must be perfect. So porn creates this. This template of of here is what a sexual experience and encounter should look like. And elements of it are accurate, but many components are actually widely. Exaggerated or totally like. These are only things that that you see on a screen. They don't really happen in real life. And if they do like, they're considered to be extreme behavior. So the second live porn is that your sex life must be perfect. Let me give you some numbers. Okay. The average length of sex between humans. Okay. This was like they worked with 500 couples and they had them start a stopwatch from the point of insertion to the point of completion. Okay. To to be graphic without being graphic. Um, some couples lasted 44 minutes. Some couples lasted less than a minute. The average couple lasted five five minutes. Does The average, like most porn videos, are more than 15 minutes long.
Speaker 1 (00:09:05) - Cover a lot of positions. Etcetera, etcetera. And what we want to make sure we remember here is that they are a production, okay? They cut scenes and they rerecord them or they try it differently and then they splice it all together later. It's a production. It's not real. But if we don't know any better, or if we simply just get exposed to it over longer, long enough periods of time, even though maybe we know that our subconscious is being programmed differently. So let's keep things in context here. I have had people reach out to me before who are like, Hey, man, I, um. I know that like, masturbation is wrong or I know that, you know, XYZ is not really good for me, but it's the only way that I can last longer in bed. And I'm like, Well, how long are you lasting? And it's like, oh, I don't know, four minutes, six minutes, whatever. It's like, bro, that's. That's just that's average.
Speaker 1 (00:10:02) - You're right in the middle. But porn has conditioned them to think like, no, this is like, this is embarrassing and I should be going all night and lasting, you know, for at least seven positions and 15, 30 minutes, whatever it is, whatever you're accustomed to watching, it's all lie. So whatever your sex life is, it's probably normal. Okay. Like, like again, unless. Unless it's like, well, we don't have sex or, you know, like, it's. It's like 30s. Like as soon as I'm in, you know, I'm done or whatever. Like, unless you're on some of these extreme ends, what you're experiencing is probably somewhere in the middle. And lie number three. Okay, This is an interesting one. I don't think a lot of people would really talk about this. But lie number three is that you are alone. And the crazy thing is you have to think about how lonely the experience of consuming pornography is. It's literally just you and the screen.
Speaker 1 (00:10:56) - You and the screen. Think about that. Porn is is unbelievably lonely. And the great irony of this is we are pursuing connection. We we long to have an experience with another human being. And yet yet there we are alone. Alone on our device. Alone on our on our computer, in our rooms, wherever it might be. Telling ourselves that this is connection when really it's the complete opposite. Porn addiction is an intimacy disorder. It is not real intimacy. Do not fall for the lie. But Pawn would like you to stay alone. See the industry. They want you to stay alone. They want you to be lonely because they know that the loneliness will increase your chances of coming back. And if you come back, they make more money. So. So do not fall for the light. The truth is, you're not alone. Like like even in this matter, something so personal and private. You are not alone. There are so many men struggling. Struggling. You're not alone in this, my friend.
Speaker 1 (00:12:04) - And you don't have to be alone, not only in the recovery part, but in life in general. Like, if you're listening to this, you are. I know a couple things about you. I've never met you, but I. Well, most of you I haven't met. But I know a couple of things about you for sure. Number one, you are a man of character. Number two, you care about your integrity. Number three, you know that your life has value even if you struggle to believe it. Sometimes those three things are true of every single person in our audience. So trust me, you, you. Someone of those three qualities does not deserve to be alone. You're not alone. And you don't deserve to be alone. You're meant to be with people. And there are other people in this world, in your circles of life, that would be lucky to have you in them. So. So don't do this thing alone. Do not settle for the loneliness isolation epidemic that is also silently going on in our society.
Speaker 1 (00:12:57) - Fine. People do this with other people and you will see tremendous change. Anyway, that's everything for today, guys. Thank you. Thank you so much for listening. I'm so glad you're here. I hope you got some value out of what we provided. If you did, make sure that you share this, make sure you leave a rating or review. Let's spread the word. Let's change the world one episode at a time. In the meantime, God bless. You. Have an amazing day. We'll talk soon. Bye bye. Hey, everybody, it's Thea again. Thanks for listening to Unleash the Man Within. I wanted to take a quick moment to let you know about a free e-book that I wrote for you called The Ultimate Guide to Porn Recovery. It provides a basic framework for the recovery process and a few of my top tips completely free of charge. You can get it now at WW recovery guide.com that's W WW alternate recovery guide. Com. Now if you've been impacted by the podcast and you want to show some support in less than 60s, there are three ways you can do that.
Speaker 1 (00:13:56) - First, you can leave a rating or review on your podcast platform. This lets people like you know that the content here is valuable. Secondly, you can share this episode with someone in your life that might benefit from the content. If you're passionate about helping other people experience freedom and success in their lives, this is one of the easiest ways to do that. And lastly, you can subscribe. I personally only listen to the podcast that I subscribe to. If you're seeking daily encouragement, guidance and insight in your recovery journey, I highly recommend subscribing to Unleash the Man Within. Thanks for listening. I look forward to connecting with you very, very soon.
Speaker 2 (00:14:34) - The information, opinions and recommendations presented in this podcast by Sathya, Sam and his guests are for general information only and should not be considered medical, clinical or any other form of professional advice. Any reliance on the information provided is done at your own risk.
